I Am Ashamed/embarassed

[TMyers1471 87]

OK,so I have been doing it wrong. It is 6 packets a day (what I picked up was for 1 week--not 2 and they forgot the instructions). I can have sugar free Jello (which makes a lot of difference), low sodium bullion, sugar free Popsicle, etc. I had an upper GI today and talked to the surgeon about struggling with the pre-op diet. He said that I was doing ok and I am actually down 5 pounds in 36 hours, so I guess I didn't blow it too badly. I made one of the shake mixes into a pudding and let it get really cold.....had some broth and then some Jello and finished up with the pudding--I feel so much better. I think losing so much Water weight all at once made me too weak to think straight. The sodium in that broth really helped. I am refocused and determined to lose the pound a day the doctor wants me to lose. He said that the grilled chicken breast without skin and veggie was actually just fine if I needed to use that to get through the first couple of days while I adjust. Here is to a successful pre-op diet.

Oh--and for those of you that flooded this topic with criticism, thanks for nothing. I was asking for help/suggestions not judgement. I was already upset with myself and your judgement didn't help. To those that posted encouragement--thank you thank you thank you. Just a positive "it is ok--get back on the horse" really goes a long way.

I don't think anyone was being critical. Those of us who are post surgery know how important it is to stick to the doctor's orders. I have a friend who has not followed a single rule, and she has been hospitalized several times. Her new stomach is basically not healing. In fact, she didn't follow pre op rules either and her surgeon almost called off the whole thing. We want you to be a success and are just trying to help. All doctors are different. My doctor said no food whatsoever in pre op to shrink the liver. Sometimes we don't always hear what we want to hear, just like anything else in life. It doesn't mean we don't care and that we are being negative. Good luck to you on your new journey. It is life changing.

[Texarkolina 201]

I find it funny that those who were negative were the first to post "Oh I wasn't being negative". Why so defensive? Seems you were fully aware that your posts were negative.

Hey, when someone asks what did you do to make it easier, the appropriate thing to post isn't "Maybe you shouldn't have the surgery because you are not ready" but rather something along the lines of "I had a cup of Decaf hot tea 3 times a day and that helped", or "try freezing the shake and eating it like ice cream."

[TMyers1471 87]

I find it funny that those who were negative were the first to post "Oh I wasn't being negative". Why so defensive? Seems you were fully aware that your posts were negative.

Hey, when someone asks what did you do to make it easier, the appropriate thing to post isn't "Maybe you shouldn't have the surgery because you are not ready" but rather something along the lines of "I had a cup of Decaf hot tea 3 times a day and that helped", or "try freezing the shake and eating it like ice cream."

What is your problem???? I was apologizing for my post sounding "negative" to you. I will not get into a war of words. This is a supportive community. Sunshine and rainbows are not always on the menu. I will politely bow out of this conversation.

[Texarkolina 201]

What is your problem???? I was apologizing for my post sounding "negative" to you. I will not get into a war of words. This is a supportive community. Sunshine and rainbows are not always on the menu. I will politely bow out of this conversation.

My problem is that I am, like everyone else on this board, a person who struggles with food issues. I am facing a major life change/surgery and felt powerless to properly prepare for it. If it was easy for us to control we wouldn't be here. I was upset/frustrated/ashamed/embarrassed already and was reaching out for HELP and being honest and vulnerable. After reading your post I was more upset than before. I really really needed support and help, but I got my hand slapped. If you will think back to your pre-surgery days, were there not days that you were scared and just needed a "come on, you can do it?" Seems the best advice I got was from a friend who said, "start with the surgeon and make sure you are doing it right--if you are, tell him you are struggling on day one and ask if he has advice. Surely you are not the first person to blow it on day one." I am not trying to start a war, but I did want to point out that when someone is being vulnerable and asking for help simple encouragement goes a long way.

[ICandothis 108]

My problem is that I am' date=' like everyone else on this board, a person who struggles with food issues. I am facing a major life change/surgery and felt powerless to properly prepare for it. If it was easy for us to control we wouldn't be here. I was upset/frustrated/ashamed/embarrassed already and was reaching out for HELP and being honest and vulnerable. After reading your post I was more upset than before. I really really needed support and help, but I got my hand slapped. If you will think back to your pre-surgery days, were there not days that you were scared and just needed a "come on, you can do it?" Seems the best advice I got was from a friend who said, "start with the surgeon and make sure you are doing it right--if you are, tell him you are struggling on day one and ask if he has advice. Surely you are not the first person to blow it on day one." I am not trying to start a war, but I did want to point out that when someone is being vulnerable and asking for help simple encouragement goes a long way.[/quote']

Your right...like everyone on here including TMyers1471 and myself..we struggle with food issues....which is exactly why she posted what she did and I responded with not only respect but also kindness. Everyone here is facing a lifechanging surgery...or has already had it....it sucks you felt powerless. I feel powerless too...but being on my 5th day of a 4 week liquid diet I get the first few days...you have to do less then 4 weeks right? Right...we all get where you are....you were mad at yourself because you knew you shouldn't have eaten....and you are upset because you screwed up in your opinion.....what was said, with complete respect is that if you " screw up " after surgery your in trouble...freeze it does not take away the fact that you needed food....right after surgery you will only going to be able to drink liquid....not freeze it and make it ice cream liquid but Water in small sips

Iquid...what then?? That is what was trying to be said...your right you are not the only one to blow it on day one......there are also 45% of wls surgeries that don't work because of struggle...head hunger and emotional upheaval.....TMyers1471 was giving you good advice that can prevent that. I get your frustration......I am thrilled your dr said no big deal, or that you did it wrong and it does not mean you are going to fail.

For me this is the one place we should not have to "restrict" ourselves......support is exactly what you are getting......I am not going into a word war with you either.....

[Texarkolina 201]

Your right...like everyone on here including TMyers1471 and myself..we struggle with food issues....which is exactly why she posted what she did and I responded with not only respect but also kindness. Everyone here is facing a lifechanging surgery...or has already had it....it sucks you felt powerless. I feel powerless too...but being on my 5th day of a 4 week liquid diet I get the first few days...you have to do less then 4 weeks right? Right...we all get where you are....you were mad at yourself because you knew you shouldn't have eaten....and you are upset because you screwed up in your opinion.....what was said, with complete respect is that if you " screw up " after surgery your in trouble...freeze it does not take away the fact that you needed food....right after surgery you will only going to be able to drink liquid....not freeze it and make it ice cream liquid but Water in small sips

Iquid...what then?? That is what was trying to be said...your right you are not the only one to blow it on day one......there are also 45% of wls surgeries that don't work because of struggle...head hunger and emotional upheaval.....TMyers1471 was giving you good advice that can prevent that. I get your frustration......I am thrilled your dr said no big deal, or that you did it wrong and it does not mean you are going to fail.

For me this is the one place we should not have to "restrict" ourselves......support is exactly what you are getting......I am not going into a word war with you either.....

For the record, I did not find your original post offensive. You stated that "FOR ME if I need to cheat I am not ready" and advised me to tell my doctor what is going on. That seemed like you were tossing out your honest opinion about your experience and encouraging me to share my struggle with my doctor. You went on to say that it gets easier based on your experience.

Saying "if you can't make it through one day of your pre-op diet are you sure you are ready" rings out to be a bit on the mean/negative/judgmental side if you are of the state of mind where you start a post with "I am ashamed/embarrassed." Implying that struggling with adjusting to a liquid diet makes me somewhat unworthy of surgery is how it read to me. Intent and emotions get easily lost in written communication.....

I wish you well in you pre op diet and a successful surgery.

[kjntwins 59]

The point of the surgery is to have it as a tool to help us with weight loss. With the pre-diet it is hard b/c we still have those urges to eat more or excessived. I think many do cheat. That is why we have the surgery.

[Texarkolina 201]

The point of the surgery is to have it as a tool to help us with weight loss. With the pre-diet it is hard b/c we still have those urges to eat more or excessived. I think many do cheat. That is why we have the surgery.

THANK YOU. Aaahhh....the voice of reason speaks.

[Aimee480 12]

Think of this as your "rock bottom."

My rock bottom was also on day one of my two week pre-op clear liquid diet....

I snuck food under a towel and sat on the toilet eating cold scrambled eggs and two sausage links.

I was never so ashamed or embarrassed with myself and this gave me the strength and resolve to be a better person. You can do it!

[smb 75]

What is your problem???? I was apologizing for my post sounding "negative" to you. I will not get into a war of words. This is a supportive community. Sunshine and rainbows are not always on the menu. I will politely bow out of this conversation.

Hahaha, who has a problem here? Your post WAS negative, it didn't just "sound negative" to her, but that's OK. It was your opinion at the time.

That being said, I wish you both the best of weight loss wishes. And I hope my good karma comes back to me and motivates me to start going to the gym like I have been planning for 7 months.

[weight_no_longer 64]

best of luck Texarkolina, im not trying to go against what your Doctor has said in any way but some people dont have to do a pre-op diet at all. sounds like u made a wise choice in what u did eat. there is no way i could stick to a liquid diet, if i could i wouldnt need this surgery!! keep up the good work & dont listen to the negativity ... for every negative post you will get twice as many positive ones

[TinaMari 75]

It wasn't judgement at all......and I am sorry if it was taken that way......for me, I have spent years thinking I needed oh hood job, keep trying, it's ok.....andi hot bigger......for me if I cannot do my liquid then I can't do after surgery.....so at no point was I or I believe anyone on here being negative....again sorry if that is how you seen it....

I don't believe the statement "if you can't follow your pre-op diet without cheating you can't do the surgery"...! First off we have to consider all of the factors surrounding the pre-op diet. Us patients are used to eating God knows however many calories per day which probably consists of fatty foods high in calories, sodium, sugar, etc. So, for a person who is used to eating lets say 2500 calories a day to go to 500 calories or less a day is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT!!! Yes, some people do have food issues which will cause them to overindulge. And yes, some people do have the willpower to complete the diet without cheating. But, the vast majority of individuals are going to go through periods of withdrawal and straight up hunger. You have to keep in mind that we still have our full stomach. We are not sleeved just yet. Therefore, you are NOT going to be satisfied with just eating 2 pieces of chicken breast/6packets of pudding/clear liquids for a two, three, or some of us are on four week pre-op diets. Let's get real here! The only thing you have to worry about post op is mentally preparing yourself for the small portion sizes. Other than that it, in my opinion, it should be much easier to not overindulge in food because you won't be hungry. Again, at post-op stage you will probably battle mental hunger...which for most of us that should be somewhat cured during the initial approval process anyway. After all, that is what the process is for...Not only to get us physically ready but also mentally ready to say to make the right decisions in regards diet & exercise.

To Texarkolina, I am on a 8-10 day clear liquid diet. And although our diets are somewhat different it is hard. I'll be the first to admit that I cheated on day 3 of my diet. I cheated with a salad. But I still cheated. I spoke to my surgeon about it and he said it was fine. According to my surgeon, the last 4-5days before surgery are the most crucial. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just say to yourself you can do this and keep pushing!!! I know how you feel but IT WILL all work out for the best! Cheers to you !!!

[Gene1970 179]

Talk to your Dr, a lot of Dr's have an alternative pre-op diet is basically a high protien, low carb diet. Mine allowed me to have lean meat, cheese, low fat yogurt, non carb veggies, light Salad Dressing, etc... It was much easier to follow and after surgery he said my liver looked great which is the main goal. I lost 15lbs on the pre-op diet, at good, and still shrunk my liver. If your Dr allows this than do it... if not then stick to his diet but one mistake does not make you a failure. Good luck!!!!

[enigmachik 403]

Don't be ashamed or embarrassed. This journey is not an easy one and we are all just taking it one day at a time. You are making good decisions for a healthier you and that is what you should focus on. We all make mistakes. I will tell you that the first couple of days of my pure liquid pre-op diet were extremely difficult for me. I was hungry, weak, shakey and had a terrible headache. I was thinking about food constantly. I even had a dream that I cheated. lol! I will say that after the first couple of days it DID get easier! I guess my body just sort of got used to it. It still wasn't all peaches and cream, but it was WAYYY easier than it was in the beginning. So don't beat yourself up. Just resolve to keep trying. Never give up. You can do this!

[Butterthebean 8,146]

The only thing you have to worry about post op is mentally preparing yourself for the small portion sizes. Other than that it' date=' in my opinion, it should be much easier to not overindulge in food because you won't be hungry. Again, at post-op stage you will probably battle mental hunger...which for most of us that should be somewhat cured during the initial approval process anyway. After all, that is what the process is for...[/quote']

I think this statement here could be right with some people but not everyone. Until you've had the surgery you don't know what it's like. Nothing about the "initial approval process" cures you of your battle against head hunger. And until you have surgery and seperate the real hunger from head hunger you don't know how strong your head hunger really is.