Keeping Surgery A Secret.....

[Banned member 320]

This is a very good question and I'm not sure what I plan to do but so far the only people who know about me starting the process of WLS is my husband and this lady that I met at my daughters bday party who said that she had the procedure. I honestly didn't consider having the surgery because I thought I had to be much heavier in order to qualify but it turns out that since my BMI is 40.3, I qualify. I do have a feeling that my family will be judgemental and I have to admit that in the past I was judgemental of those who had WLS but now that I'm going down this path I totally understand. My aunt had WLS (RNY) back in 2005 and she mentioned it constantly and would always make rude comments about our weight now that she was skinny but in all fairness she was a very rude person before the procedure.

I don't see myself lying to anyone about how I lost the weight, especially if the person is obese like I am/was because maybe they haven't considered all their options yet. I'm glad the lady at my kids bday party mentioned it because I honestly would of stayed in my cycle of losing a few pounds and then gaining more. In my family they are extremely judgmental about weight and I remember from a very young age them always saying how "big" me and my sister are. I don't feel like I owe them an explanation about what I'm doing health wise and the fact that we live a 30 hr drive from them makes it easier.

Also when it comes to my Facebook friends I don't see myself making a huge announcement and if anyone ask I will send them a PM. It's not a huge "secret" for me but I just feel that I don't owe anyone an explanation. Sorry if that doesn't make sense

[MonicaR 8]

I have only told my mother & that's because she is my ride there. I do feel embarrassed by having to do this but I also feel like nobody really cares so why bother. I do sometimes wanna tell just to be able to talk about it, but I have my mom & now this forum, so that helps. If all goes well with insurance, I will be having mine done on Aug 22! I can't wait!

[fletchfb 0]

My surgery is in just over two week from today (Actually it is on the 26th of July). I have told a chosen few folks. My wife knows as she is my support and she is thinking of a lap band in September and she is telling very few. I have a very close friend who i confide in a lot and she knows and after asking a few questions to make sure i was sane she is very supportive. I have decided not to tell my parents (both 85) because they do not need to worry and they have suggested this any way in the past by setting up meetings with old school friends who had by pass. My son and his wife think something is up because i drink shakes instead of eating some days and they have seen me losing some weight but i know if i tell them it will be a lot of negative feedback. My other kids (2 daughters and a step son) will learn after i have the surgery. I do not plan to broadcast it but i will tell them when i see them face to face.

Aloes my doctors all know including my therapist who has been a great help with some fears i have encountered. I also told my boss who became concern because i was taking time off for a lot of appointments.

And of course my friends here know about it but the circle is pretty small.

I support anyone in any sharing decision as that is a private decision and what is right for you may not be right for me.

Good Luck,

Fred

[gettinMeBack 380]

I told the people that were closer to me and that I deal wit on a daily basis. Some co-workers and that's only bcuz they had it to and I was researching. I feel it's none of their business if its not someone that cares about my well being. I'm not ashamed by far cuz enjoying this weightloss and what I'm seeing in the mirror!!

[scaredoftheunknown 95]

I've told people that have asked that I had a procedure to help get my diabetes under control that involved cutting out part of my stomach that makes particular hormones (which is true lol). Surprisingly' date=' it doesn't go any farther than that...The next thing out of their mouths is usually well, you look great and how are your blood sugars now? [/quote']

That's what I have been telling people.

[jennyannk73 20]

I am in the same boat. Have told only my boss and family, but will tell others that ask after the fact. I really just don't want to hear other peoples horror stories or opinions.... or frankly their shocked reactions. If someone asks me later though, I will be honest about it. I'm sure there will be plenty of gossip, but you know what? I really don't care, because hopefully by that point I'm going to be looking good and feeling great, so who cares? Let them talk!

[bakawaka 59]

I have gone ahead and told selected people at work whom I know to be very gossipy people. They will do the work for me of informing others at work. One of the reasons that I have decided to tell people at work about the surgery is that when I have lost weight in the past, some people thought I had a terminal illness! Well, obesity is a terminal illness. So I'd rather have some influence on the inevitable gossip. Of course, the decision to tell at work is very personal. This is the choice I made. Some people I tell express concern. I try to inform them about the science behind the surgery. There are many obese and morbidly obese people in my office. So maybe my talking about the surgery can inspire others. I do certainly understand why some want to keep the information very private.

[diedie 64]

I didnt keep is secret at all. I told everyone. Now i wish i hadent as i turned out to be a slow looser and ive had people ask me if its normal to loose weight so slow or i get the have you lost anymore weight question. I think im doing ok lost 51 pounds since 5/25/12 .

[Ready4success 380]

I didnt keep is secret at all. I told everyone. Now i wish i hadent as i turned out to be a slow looser and ive had people ask me if its normal to loose weight so slow or i get the have you lost anymore weight question. I think im doing ok lost 51 pounds since 5/25/12 .

It's funny because I only told the people on my second job, and I only see them on Thurs, Fri, & Saturdays. Every week, they're like, "OMG, you're wasting away!" then they ask how much I've lost for the week, and it's usually like 2 or 3 pounds, they swear it's 10, and that I'm being modest. I think it shows a lot, even with small numbers.

[delta_girl 931]

My father, step mother, sister in law, and best friend know that I had bariatric surgery. Two other friends and my boss know that I had some type of surgery. Outside of those few, nobody else knows unless one of the aforementioned individuals spilled the Beans. For me it is personal and private unless I decide that I don't want it to be.

I don't discuss when I have my teeth cleaned, have diarrhea, my bra size, if I have athlete's foot, how often I shave my legs, switched my brand of eyeshadow, the details about my gall stone, the outcome from my most recent mammogram or Pap smear, etc.

In the future if someone gives me a compliment it will be very nice and I'll thank them. If someone asks a question I will probably say something like, "Thank you for noticing! I really feel fantastic." I am not obliged to disclose anything to anyone at any time about my personal business. I certainly will not lie about it or be rude, but neither are others entitled to intimate details about my health issues.

[GeauxForIt 659]

I've decided to tell only a select few people before surgery (2weeks from today!!) but I'm a big blabber mouth and will tell everyone afterwards. LOL

I'm not a particularly private person, and open book, so to speak. I'm keeping it on the DL right now mainly bc my mother always manages to make everything about her in any situation and I need to keep my mind and emotional energy focused on ME right now. Besides, she didn't tell us she was having a nose job!! HA!

[Ballermom 803]

Good topic! Told my DHubby, my 3 sons, 1 family who had Gastric bypass surgery. We have the same Surgeon.

I recently told a close friend who came into town the other day. She was the 2nd most understandable person of the bunch. Wow, she surprised me. She and I lost weight together in the past she kept hers off I only got pregnant. Lol then keep the weight plus more. She was 100% supportive and identified with me because she had the similar issues before her weight loss.

I was ready for "you lost weight before speech".

I got none of that. I even got into pictures of the a Vsg surgery ! Wow

My mom was not supportive. So i told her i was having a procedure . She will worry the stuff out of others and they will call me. I'm not ready for that.

[Queen In Me 36]

Personally I feel the same way you do...I've told my "guyfriend", my sister, my dad and a few coworkers. I haven't told my mom yet and I'm debating on if I will. I just don't want to her the negativity, and I don't want to hear all the opinions. Overall, its your decision, people are going to think what they want to think rather you lost weight through exerise and changing eating habits, or sugery. Overall you have to be happy with you, no one else matters. Keep in mind, you can't take it back once you've told someone. So just think about the people who will positively support you and tell them.

[Elyne 5]

I told My mom, daughter, my co- worker (encouraged me)my sister knows because she getting her procedure in January . And /2 sisters from my church . I recall just having a convo about the surgery and the people started telling how beautiful and thick I am.

Which I hate! ????

[Ballermom 803]

I told my Dh and my older kids. My relative who had Gastric bypass we have the same Surgeon.

And a friend who was so understandable.