female only Scared I Will Resent My Husband For Treating Me Differently After....

[Nikki613 120]

I am worried I will resent my husband for treating me differently after losing weight. When we met I was much thinner and I definately notice a difference after the weight gain. I am worried that when I lose the weight he will start treating me differently and pay more attention to me especially when we are out in public. Anyone have that issue? Can anyone offer some insight?

[Marty McSkinnystein 342]

Won't he just "feed" off of your emotions? i.e. you'll feel sexy, exciting and he'll respond to that. If you look at it that way- it's not his "fault"- it's what you're back to being.

Make sense?

[MegInNOLA 531]

Well, I'm sorry that you've noticed a change since your weight gain. I think you will definitely notice a difference in how he treats you after surgery, not just in public, but I'm not sure you will resent it--especially if you can think of it as a celebration time--you're feeling better, looking great, enjoying your life more, and you're probably going to be sending out a lot more positive energy in general. It would be really odd if your life partner didn't notice that and treat you a bit differently (not because you're "not fat" any more, but because you're feeling and looking and acting so much more energetically, if that makes sense).

Long story short, of course it would be amazing if people didn't treat us differently when we were heavy--my DH loves me no matter what, no matter what size--but I can tell you that our relationship is stronger, better, hotter, closer in every way since the surgery--and this was a guy who loved me like crazy before.

[DivaK 55]

I am already receiving attention and its only been 6 days...LOL! Enjoy it. I feel like its a whole new me. I was also thinner when we me (but not when we got married) but the bottom line is he married me for me. Thin or thick...Im still me and as far as I can see he truly appreciates me for me. My weight is an issue only for me...he made a comment this morning that he liked it better when we could eat together...LOL!

Enjoy the attentiion...it can only make your relationship stronger.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

This is scary to actually get more positive attention from your loved ones. It sounds like you had put on weight without being conscious of some underlying issues and it would be important to get some therapy to address these issues or else it will sabotage your progress in weight loss and keeping it off. Therapy will give you the tools to avoid these pitfalls. Just like Meg said, you will be much happier and feel much sexier, and yes, he is going to change the way he is towards you, because he will be happy that your happier too. Let us know how your doing.

[KBT 35]

Sleeveme, I think I know where you are coming from. Once you lose the weight, you will start thinking, now why couldn't he treat me this well when I was overweight? Why would the pounds make such a big difference?

I feel this way. My husband has always been naturally thin and I gained most of my weight while undergoing multiple surgeries that caused me to be incapacitated. I couldn't move and I ate. My husband never completely understood the weight gain and the pain I was in. When I told him in January that I was ready for this surgery, he was so utterly excited that I was ready to have this surgery that it made me mad that it was so important to him. Yes, I weighed 105 pounds when I met him 35 years ago but still! I never got the I love you know matter how you look talk... Even after 31 years of marriage, it's important to hear things like this.

[Wolfgirl1978 256]

I noticed a change in myself when I gained weight, and I avoided intimacy because I was not comfortable with my body any longer. I am 26 days post op, and 27 pounds down, and I already feel better about myself and things have been picking up in our bedroom. I honestly feel my husband feeds off my energy.

[Nikki613 120]

I would love to think he is just feeding off my energy, but that isnt always the case. I got my feelings hurt last night and maybe that is driving my fear. I love my husband very much and I know he loves me, but even when I am feeling confident and pretty, it can go unnoticed. We have very open communication, so I have communicated how things have changed and what I need. Just wanted to know if anyone else experienced this.

[SV2 57]

I would love to think he is just feeding off my energy' date=' but that isnt always the case. I got my feelings hurt last night and maybe that is driving my fear. I love my husband very much and I know he loves me, but even when I am feeling confident and pretty, it can go unnoticed. We have very open communication, so I have communicated how things have changed and what I need. Just wanted to know if anyone else experienced this.[/quote']

Might be off-topic, but why do women feel like they have to be told constantly how they look?

Sent from my iPad using VST

[mommy794 119]

_{It's a girl THANG! lol}

_{but really ....}

_{I do notice that also but I try not to dwell on it, and look at it that way . He loved me no matter what but I'm sure like me, he's happier now that I've lost quite a bit.}

[Nikki613 120]

I dont need to be told Im pretty. But I do need to feel desired. Women want to feel desired by thier partner, atleast I do. In fact, for me the most important thing is to feel desired. Even though we still have lots of laughs and little fights, I do not feel desired.

[Wolfgirl1978 256]

I like to be told I'm pretty,

[Nikki613 120]

Youre Pretty !

[Wolfgirl1978 256]

Youre Pretty !

Aww thanks! You too!

[IMSKINNY 160]

One of my male friends who had gastric bypass and has lost 230 lbs says that he will not date any woman that didn't pay attention to him when he was heavier! I think that's pretty mean!