male only Fellas... Keep It Real With Me!

[SML1997 308]

So... being that this is The Man's Room, I figured I reach to the fellas and ask a question that I kind of already know the answer to. But for those who have had the sleeve.... Was it a noticeable difference in the attention you received from the opposite sex after you've lost the weight from the sleeve? If you have seen a difference, do you consider those folks superficial and don't give them the time of day? I mean are you not the same person on the inside? I bring this up because I recently told a female friend of mine that I was going to have the surgery, she was very supportive, but then she also made a statement like.... "You're going to have women all over you". Now....even as a big guy... I've never had a problem dating women... However I thought to myself... What would make her assume that I don't have women all over me right now? I mean... I am not the type of dude that thrives off how many women they can attract.... but the comment my friend made did get me to thinking.... Hmmm... So I thought I reach out to my experienced fellas out the in the VST world.

Is there a noticable difference in attention from the opposite sex after you get sleeved and have lost weight?

Fellas feel free to chime in.....

Ladies... if you're peeking into the The Man's room...you might as well join the conversation....

[quietcougar 29]

I've lost almost 50 pounds since my surgery, and I can't say that I've noticed any "special" attention. The way people look at me is different, though. When I go to the store, or the mall, I don't get the kinds of looks I used to get being a big guy. I'm still pretty good sized, but I look a lot thinner now than I did. To more directly answer your question, there are women who like larger guys and women who like skinner guys. As you lose weight, you may get more attention from the latter.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I haven't lost enough weight to notice any extra attention, but in the past I lost a great deal of weight (only to gain it back) and I got all sorts of attention. Of course, my confidence was probably also higher so that may have contributed to the whole thing. I suddenly felt no reservations about talking to anyone.

I'm a happily married man and my wife noticed the attention as well.

Didn't bother me, I wasn't looking for anything. Besides a lot of relationships involve physical attraction. That's the way we are programmed. Now if someone suddenly wanted to be my friend who had spurned me before, I would probably just say no thanks.

[Looking Ahead 239]

Glad you offered for the women to pipe in. I've thought the same thing. I've lost weight before and gained it back so I feel I have a little experience with your statement. When I lost 88 lbs and felt..sexy, I acted different, spoke different and walked different. It was the self esteem that made the difference. Not the weight. When the men would approach me, there was a part of me that, in my mind, gave them the evil eye. I felt that had I been a bigger woman, they wouldn't have looked my way. I'm not so sure its the weight that attracts the opposite sex but the self confidence that comes with it. If you already have this self confidence, I don't see you'll have a huge difference in women who are attracted to you. When I lost the weight, I caught myself looking for a different "type" of man. I wasn't so much into the buffed tall dark and handsome..but I was wanting the soft hearted, understanding, mature man. Funny, because when I was bigger, I wanted the same but in a gorgeous body. Funny, we always think the opposite sex is the ones who want so much more, when in fact it might be the losers (weight that is).

Anyway, its an opinion.

In the end, you get what you give. If you don't, either you are not giving or you are in the wrong relationship.

Good Luck

[MG in SD 75]

I was peeking into the man's room! I am sure you will get more attention, I always do when I lose weight. But I don't think you need to overthink what your friend was saying either, I think she was just trying to be positive. I have noticed that people always want to try to say something encouraging even when they have nothing to say. And I think you will deserve more attention once you have lost a bit, it shows that besides having a winning personality, you take care of yourself. And that is sexy too!

[chad2rad 491]

I think you will deserve more attention once you have lost a bit' date=' it shows that besides having a winning personality, you take care of yourself. And that is sexy too! [/quote']

No Doubt.... Confidence comes from within, and feeling comfortable in your own skin speaks volumes.

[vsginnj 415]

Sorry, I would have answered sooner but I was ehem....BUSY...yeah defiantly more attention .

[SML1997 308]

I've lost almost 50 pounds since my surgery, and I can't say that I've noticed any "special" attention. The way people look at me is different, though. When I go to the store, or the mall, I don't get the kinds of looks I used to get being a big guy. I'm still pretty good sized, but I look a lot thinner now than I did. To more directly answer your question, there are women who like larger guys and women who like skinner guys. As you lose weight, you may get more attention from the latter.

very true

[SML1997 308]

I haven't lost enough weight to notice any extra attention, but in the past I lost a great deal of weight (only to gain it back) and I got all sorts of attention. Of course, my confidence was probably also higher so that may have contributed to the whole thing. I suddenly felt no reservations about talking to anyone.

I'm a happily married man and my wife noticed the attention as well.

Didn't bother me, I wasn't looking for anything. Besides a lot of relationships involve physical attraction. That's the way we are programmed. Now if someone suddenly wanted to be my friend who had spurned me before, I would probably just say no thanks.

Definitely agree with the confidence piece. People are attracted to confidence. Thanks for sharing.

[SML1997 308]

Glad you offered for the women to pipe in. I've thought the same thing. I've lost weight before and gained it back so I feel I have a little experience with your statement. When I lost 88 lbs and felt..sexy, I acted different, spoke different and walked different. It was the self esteem that made the difference. Not the weight. When the men would approach me, there was a part of me that, in my mind, gave them the evil eye. I felt that had I been a bigger woman, they wouldn't have looked my way. I'm not so sure its the weight that attracts the opposite sex but the self confidence that comes with it. If you already have this self confidence, I don't see you'll have a huge difference in women who are attracted to you. When I lost the weight, I caught myself looking for a different "type" of man. I wasn't so much into the buffed tall dark and handsome..but I was wanting the soft hearted, understanding, mature man. Funny, because when I was bigger, I wanted the same but in a gorgeous body. Funny, we always think the opposite sex is the ones who want so much more, when in fact it might be the losers (weight that is).

Anyway, its an opinion.

In the end, you get what you give. If you don't, either you are not giving or you are in the wrong relationship.

Good Luck

Well you have made some great points here. Definitely agree that you get what you give. Thanks for sharing.

[SML1997 308]

Sorry, I would have answered sooner but I was ehem....BUSY...yeah defiantly more attention .

Ummmm.....haha...sounds like youre keeping busy these days. Lol...Thanks for keeping it real.

[PdxMan 4,292]

I have always been a gentlemen opening doors for women at the mall, office buildings ... wherever. Before, most women would just walk through with a few of them saying, "Thanks". Now, most of the time they look me in the eye, say, "Hello", or "Thank you", or "You are so sweet".

Even walking down the street in downtown I have women making eye contact with me and initiating a "Hello" as I walk past them. I can't say that EVER happened to me when I was 300+ pounds.

I, too, am a happily married man who only has eyes for my wife, but it is nice getting the attention.

[SML1997 308]

I have always been a gentlemen opening doors for women at the mall, office buildings ... wherever. Before, most women would just walk through with a few of them saying, "Thanks". Now, most of the time they look me in the eye, say, "Hello", or "Thank you", or "You are so sweet".

Even walking down the street in downtown I have women making eye contact with me and initiating a "Hello" as I walk past them. I can't say that EVER happened to me when I was 300+ pounds.

I, too, am a happily married man who only has eyes for my wife, but it is nice getting the attention.

Thanks PdxMan for keeping it real. I think we would all be fooling ourselves if we didn't admit that getting that extra attention kinda feels good and it's also helps to build your confidence a little bit. Your example of the "eye contact" and the women "initiating the Hello" is a very realistic example.

Thanks for sharing!

[PdxMan 4,292]

I just gotta share. I just came back from the Drs office. I walk up the stairs to the third floor. As I get to the second floor, a nice looking 20 something girl comes through the door in front of me also going up to the third floor. She stops, turns and looks me up and down. She smiles at me and says, "I like your shirt." It is a shirt I got from a 5K race I did on the 4th. Nothing special. I smiled and said "Thanks".

Again ... NEVER would have happened last year.

[chitowngirl 885]

I've had to admit I've gotten attention. Being a woman I get most attention from other women, not sexual, but women tend to be friendlier to people who weigh less. Today at lunch I had a female cop come up to me just to say hello, in a very matter of fact kind of way. It doesn't upset me as I also notice that post sleeve when I walk around I have a natural smile on my face. So I can honestly say that I am also more friendlier and out going.