Locking Threads????

[dawg 0]

This is probably going to offend some people (doesn't seem that hard to offend people on here to be honest with you) but, do words that people online say really hurt you that much??? ( I don't mean you as in anyone in particular either, just in general). If someone is "harassing" me or calling me names to my face I just wouldn't go where they were or go near them. Same here, just don't open it if it bothers you. I know it has been said over and over, but can it get any more simpler?

Well of course I would normally take the "sticks and stones" thing and wholeheartedly agree with you.

Remember though that this is a support forum. If you open up and discuss issues openly in what you feel is a safe environment, and then this is used to attack you, of course it can hurt.

We grow pretty thick skins to the "world at large" but if you open up yourself, you shouldn't have to face that being used against you.

It is actually great if you can just blow people off if they try and hurt you, but sometimes it's really hard to ignore.

My view is that there is no place for vicious attacks in this community. I think though that the current "Rants and Raves" description does grant tacit approval for behavior which would normally be prevented by LBT rules.

I know Betty stated that her view is that this behavior is unacceptable in any one of the threads and I think it important we comply with that, despite the open interpretation of what the "Rants and Raves" forum is for.

[DonnaB 3]

This is probably going to offend some people (doesn't seem that hard to offend people on here to be honest with you) but, do words that people online say really hurt you that much??? ( I don't mean you as in anyone in particular either, just in general). If someone is "harassing" me or calling me names to my face I just wouldn't go where they were or go near them. Same here, just don't open it if it bothers you. I know it has been said over and over, but can it get any more simpler?

I think that's part of the point trying to be made. Rambling, abusive, and volatile, as it may be.

Here's the rub, you say you would stay away from them, but what if you felt they wouldn't stay away from you? I wasn't here so I don't know what actually happened. I do know that if I felt persecuted I would eventually fight back. I hope I'd be smart enough to try to resolve it privately or ashamed of myself enough to know when to STOP, but . . .

It appears that both of the parties feel that they are being harassed. It also appears that both of the parties ARE harassing each other, whether they intend to or not. Throw in freedom of speech in an open forum, friends trying to stand up for friends, egos and hormones flying out of control, and a SERIOUS case of 'last word syndrome,' and that's where we are!

The question is, how do you solve it? For me, the solution is to watch the wreck and move on. For the "injured" parties, who knows how to solve it? Not me.

[Fitter 0]

By Donnab "You say you would stay away from them, but what if you felt they wouldn't stay away from you? I wasn't here so I don't know what actually happened. I do know that if I felt persecuted I would eventually fight back. I hope I'd be smart enough to try to resolve it privately or ashamed of myself enough to know when to STOP"

Donna, if people would stop attacking the person and start paying a little attention to the facts that have been posted, you'd see that all other means of communication have failed. Don't you think I've tried to stop Susan from harassing me? Dawg, do you see me following your wife and you around LBT, other than a few random comments? NO, the answer is NO.

It's not a case of "last word syndrome." It's a case of Susan being so insanely jealous and controlling that she follows people - and NOT only me - around the board to the point they snap. We have all notified the moderators, and I initially started by being more civil than she deserved me to be, but even after sending her PMs telling her to STAY AWAY FROM ME FOR THE SAKE OF LBT she continues to get sick thrills chasing me around, antagonizing me, pouncing on my threads the second I write two words. It's not normal behavior, and the law doesn't tolerate it on the streets, so why should I stand back and tolerate it on a message board that I've belonged to for so many years? Why should I continue to be the one to walk away? Why do I have to play games like, "I'm really leaving this time" only to be drawn back after she and her cohorts continue use my name? Why are they so fascinated with me that they can't avoid me? Read your own words, "I do know that if I felt persecuted I would eventually fight back."

You all do not know the entire story but if you stopped adding to the drama and took some time putting a few facts together, the problem is clear as Water.

And as far as accusations of multiple screen names, I happen to know more people than I can count at LBT with multiple screen names that haven't been band while I'm being accused of being No.Name, PSusan and others? And for people to see right through the Dawg and PhotoNut tag team as being separate entities while they play off each other to attack other singles?

Check the facts, and then get back to us.

Anyone that wants to be friends with the likes of a common street predator needs to stay away from people that don't want to be stalked, whether in person or in a public message board.

Why don't those of you who claim to be so smart and supperior go retrace her every move at LBT and finally realize that if ONE person stops, others won't need a defense?

[DonnaB 3]

Blah, blah, read what she said, blah, blah, when I specifically, blah, blah, can't you just, blah, why shouldn't I do, blah, blah, can't sleep at night, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, can't you just, blah, blah, curse, blah, blah, sick, blah, blah, get some help, blah, blah, I said, blah, blah, then I tried to, blah, blah, psycho, blah, blah, so then you said, blah, blah, should seek therapy, blah, blah, when I could just as easily have, blah, blah, blah, blah, wish you'd go away, blah, blah, can't stress enough, blah, blah, blah, too much time, blah, blah, learn to move on, blah, blah, blah, why shouldn't I? blah, blah, it's my right to, blah, blah, me, me, me, blah, blah, you idiot, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, leaving and never coming back, blah, blah, sex toys, blah, blah, blah, she said, blah, blah, blah, you said, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, curse, blah, they said, blah, blah, me, me, me, me, blah, blah, blah, why? blah, blah, when, blah, blah, if, blah, blah, blah, blah, fault, blah, blah, blah, cry, blah, blah, we were told, blah, blah, blah, blah, why not, blah, blah, blah, would you, blah, blah, I can if I want, blah, blah, you, blah, blah, me, blah, blah, I said, blah, blah, curse, curse, curse, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, jealous, blah, blah, read your own posts, blah, blah, I'm right you're wrong, blah, blah, I was here first, blah, blah, no my name is really no.name, blah, blah, PSusan is a real user, blah, blah, blah, leave me alone, blah, blah, ramble, blah, blah, ramble, blah, blah, blah, ramble, blah, blah, ramble, blah, blah, ramble, blah, blah, blah, blah, rant, blah, blah, ramble, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

See? Last word syndrome.

This conversation was about a forum titled "Rants and Raves" and what that means exactly. This conversation was not an invitation to attempt to justify something which cannot be justified.

[La_madam 20]

I just asked one of the moderators why are some threads locked and others are not? Seems if one negative mean spirited thread is locked they all should be regardless of the thread starter or regardless of whatever forum they are in! Iam waiting for a reply from the mods on this one.

[foodstampchamp 3]

Well of course I would normally take the "sticks and stones" thing and wholeheartedly agree with you.

Remember though that this is a support forum. If you open up and discuss issues openly in what you feel is a safe environment, and then this is used to attack you, of course it can hurt.

We grow pretty thick skins to the "world at large" but if you open up yourself, you shouldn't have to face that being used against you.

It is actually great if you can just blow people off if they try and hurt you, but sometimes it's really hard to ignore.

My view is that there is no place for vicious attacks in this community. I think though that the current "Rants and Raves" description does grant tacit approval for behavior which would normally be prevented by LBT rules.

I know Betty stated that her view is that this behavior is unacceptable in any one of the threads and I think it important we comply with that, despite the open interpretation of what the "Rants and Raves" forum is for.

Very good point. But still, ( I haven't received many pm's so I could be wrong on this) even if it is sent to you, don't you still have to physically open it then scroll down it and read it line by line???? Or do you have to read it in order to delete it? I'm guessing no. I also have not been attacked on here so I guess I haven't walked a mile...etc..... I do know when I have gotten into "arguments" if you will, online before that I could just not read what they sent.

[dawg 0]

Very good point. But still, ( I haven't received many pm's so I could be wrong on this) even if it is sent to you, don't you still have to physically open it then scroll down it and read it line by line???? Or do you have to read it in order to delete it? I'm guessing no. I also have not been attacked on here so I guess I haven't walked a mile...etc..... I do know when I have gotten into "arguments" if you will, online before that I could just not read what they sent.

I do agree and I actually have adopted this myself.

I was merely pointing out that sometimes even just a few words can hurt - if they are the right words.

I think my major statement is though, that this kind of thing should come to a close and remain closed. I don't see the value in providing a "gloves off" fighting area.

My opinion though is considered by most to be superfluous for a multiplicity of reasons. I expect this opinion to be ignored and I expect the drama to persist until Alex takes drastic action which nobody wants.

I think the thread was started with the intent of exploring the "Rants and Raves" forum, what it means and how it operates.

I would love some clarification of what is allowed there, and what it's intent is.

[*susan* 1,709]

Donna, you absolutely crack me up.

And, Donna and Dawg, you are right. This thread was started asking exactly what are the rules for the rants and raves forum, if threads are going to be locked here. I just wanted to understand the purpose. I did not mean for the other "stuff" to invade this thread.

It is like a weed, it keeps spreading and you can't kill it.

[FunnyDuddies 6]

Very good point. But still, ( I haven't received many pm's so I could be wrong on this) even if it is sent to you, don't you still have to physically open it then scroll down it and read it line by line???? Or do you have to read it in order to delete it? I'm guessing no. I also have not been attacked on here so I guess I haven't walked a mile...etc..... I do know when I have gotten into "arguments" if you will, online before that I could just not read what they sent.

FSC, You make very good points, and I too agree with them. One of the problems I have seen is that it does not always stay containe in one thread. there have been multiple situations where ifferent people have come into threas that have nothing to do with the fight, only to get those threas shut down. The Gone For Good thread started at the beginning of this month is a good example of this. If it stayed in one place your theory, which is an excellent one, could be followed to a "t".

[FunnyDuddies 6]

Susan4794, sorry if my post was a bit OT.

[3loves 0]

Your right, it does spread. That is why people are creating threads about threads.

[Iluvharleys 15]

I re-opened the two threads that were in the rant and rave section. Now, let's try to keep the threads all in that section and we'll see how things go.

Just try to remember that words do hurt people, once they are said they can't be taken back. You can say your sorry a hundred times, but things between you will never be the same. Please try to use some good judgment while posting.

Thank you!

[gailannr 1]

Hello, this is my first post but I have been visiting for quite a while each and everyday, sometimes more than once. This particular thread finally convinced me to introduce myself and maybe give my opinion as a newbie. I have never visited the "Rants and Raves" thread as far as I can remember. My reason being, just the name of it sort of turned me off. I didn't come looking for a support website to listen to this type of stuff but I think it is great of you to offer that type of an area for those that feel a real need to rant or rave.

The last couple of weeks this place has been a very depressing place to come to. But, I kinda got hooked when I first started "checkin in" because at that time I was finding so many interesting helpful posts. I was having a ball reading all your great posts and success stories!

If I did have a vote, I would vote to keep the Rant and Rave thread and somehow figure out how to remind others in a kind way that they may need to take their troubles there and maybe solve them or at least have a place to vent them.

I have not been banded yet. Unfortunately, my surgery will be under medicare and because of the many surgery requests, I don't even have a consultation with my surgeon until January 9th. I was told surgery possible in February I am going in for both my evaluations next Thursday in Reno.

Thanks for the opportunity!

Gail

[FunnyDuddies 6]

Welcome to the board Gail!! Better late than never! I hope all goes well with your banding!

[Suzi D 0]

Wow Donna... this whole thing must really be bothering you to take the time to write so many "blahs". I think the whole thing is actually quite comical and am really enjoying a good laugh at this forum. Even though people won't admit it they ALL turn their heads to look at the train wreck, and that is just what we have here. Thanks a lot... this beats the hell out of reality TV.