Family Can Just Make You Nuts!

[Piplula 709]

So why do family want to compete with my weight loss?? Ok you can't...get over it! My MIL and I have a "history"...I won't go into it here. But as soon a we let her know about my sleeve..she immediately starting dieting...and has been "competing" with me since April. She isn't a small person either..she is morbidly obese as well. Anyway..she lost a pound and I of course lost way more because of the surgery. So she announces she is going to look into the surgery ..she is 74. Why?? Isn't there an age limit? Why compete with someone who has had weight loss surgery?? You aren't going to "win"..if you can even win such a thing?? And then...she used my as an example against her oldest, obese son. She asked him if he ever considered my procedure and he promptly told her the many, many reasons as to why he would never, ever choose the route I am on. And I calmly states to the mil that weight loss surgery is a private, personal journey that each individual must take order to live this lifestyle..it isn't the easy road.. I felt so bad for him. He didn't ask to be treated in such a manner..hell it could be against his religious beliefs for all I know! And I felt used.. Anyway..I am climbing down off the soap box..that felt good to get off my chest! MIL will never change..she will find a fault with everyone except looking in the mirror and seeing the truth!

[innerme 26]

Exactly why my MIL doesn't know anything about me having this done. I told my DH not to say anything to her because instead of being supportive I felt it would give her ammunition to find fault and this is too tough a battle to go thru to deal with this kind of stuff. I totally agree with you that it is totally a individual decision.

[mokee 588]

I am 65 and started my journey to have the sleeve. The office I went said that the oldest patient they have had was 78. Other seminars I went to before chosing a doctor said that 65 was the limit. I hope you try to understand her. It is not good to get old. I bet deep down she envies you and wishes she could do the same thing you are. Best of luck to you on your journey.

[Spatters3 315]

That's so sad. I don't think 74 is too old for the VSG unless she has other health problems that would prevent her healing or being able to survive the diet regimen. The surgery may add years to her life. If you offered her information and support perhaps you would atleast be calling her bluff :-)

I'm getting older (56 already... wow) and I am acutely aware of my own mortality. Her being 74, I'm sure she is too. I don't know why I'm feeling compassionate towards this woman who is probably a real piece of work, but I just am.

Must be hormonal !

[ashleyxx 277]

I so know how you feel!

I have a family members that I feel is "competing" with me. One being my cousin, she was always the skinny petite girl with big boobs, now since she had her first child she hasn't been able to lose the weight she gained with her pregnancy.

One thing she did a few weeks ago that really ticked me off was a status update she made on FB, it may not have been targeted at me (She knows I have had surgery) she went on to say

"You know whats funny when people lose weight and they don't wanna tell their secret how selfish! I hope you get fat again!! ha ha". Even if it wasn't directed towards me, it still pissed me off that someone wished for someone to get fat because your jealous of them. I didn't even reply, I have offered her advice in the past about low carbing, I told her I think she would do really great since she has never done 100's of diets in the past and hasn't ruined her metabolism, she would just tell me "I cant do that"

Then last week my sister, her and I were supposed to go to this Water park, my friend wanted to go and asked her, I guess she never answered her back and when she brought it up to my sister she said "F*** that skinny b****, she just had her baby a few weeks ago and is already losing the baby weight, pffft yeah like I wanna be around her!"

I could not believe my ears when my sister told me. That made me feel like, "so is that why you like hanging out with me? Because I was always the fat one and you didn't feel threatened?" Its just so sad how jealous people can be, especially females.

[Piplula 709]

Yea..she is a real piece of work Spatters3. And it is sad! She is alienating her son and using me as a weapon to do it. BUT... if not this..then it would be some other family member and with some other issue. She has multiple health issues as well. I am glad someone feels compassion for her because most of her family doesn't. She needs someone too. I did tell her to look into it.. Honestly though I doubt she will. But she may surprise us all and do it! We shall see!

[TinkerToyz 45]

Too bad you can't get married to the man and leave his family baggage at the curb. I don't do in laws well at all, not any better with the second set than I was with the first set.

[geno5150 168]

Thats really a shame. I love my MIL dearly and she is very supportive. Maybe wls bringing her down to a normal weight would improve her self esteem and overall disposition? Maybe encouragement for her to do it would be in order. Just a thought.

[Piplula 709]

Honestly.. I think she may have a social disorder. Some of the things she says is so hurtful and harmful that I am not sure she understand just how extensive the comments are! It's a shame. I have told her where to look and how to research WLS. I doubt she will because she isn't ready to make the necessary changes. Maybe she will research it, but I doubt it. I am sorry some people feel sorry for this woman, but she almost ruined my marriage so I don't have much compassion at all for her. JMHO.

[Piplula 709]

You know..she is downright mean and evil..but I don't think she knows she is being that way..and it doesn't just include me..she doles it around...which is why I think she has a mental or social disorder..anyway..off the soap box again..

[Spatters3 315]

You have fulfilled your duty as a DIL (by telling her where to find info that will help her) and now it's her choice. Too bad we all don't get wise when we get old. Some of us just get old