Guilt

[ashkaymom 0]

Have been wondering if anyone else has or had similar feelings. I have been thinking about was for a year and a half. It got put on the back burner for several reasons. I now have the money to do it but am feeling guilty about the time it will take away from my family. My daughter is high functioning autistic so when/if I'm ever not going to be around I have to write a long detail list so things can go as smoothly as possible for her. I must admit things have gotten better with her but still. I have a friend that had RNY 10 years ago and she would come and help with the kids. I guess I just have a hard time asking for help. And I feel like I would be the person it doesn't work for. Then I would have incovenced my family and spent all that money for nothing. Guess I'm just looking for someone to say I felt that way but it was worth it.

[notime 340]

I can't say I felt that way, but I can say it is time to do this for you and your family. It sounds as though you are always taking care of others. All right then, take care of you for them. What would their lives be like if you died prematurely from complications of obesity? Would they be able to take care of you if your health problems required it?

My hospital stay was two days and it sounds as though most others had the same experience. You will be home in no time. My recovery at home was very uneventful and I could resume many activities after one day.

Best of luck to you as you make your decision.

[Minckle 87]

I waited until I decided that my daughter was "old enough" - whatever that meant! The reality is that the #1 reason I did it at all is because I want to be healthy enough that I can be with my daughter for a long time - see her grow up and not die when I'm 50 because of all my obesity-related stuff. So, really, if she was the #1 reason I did it, I shouldn't have waited as long as I did!!!!!!

I have absolutely relied on my friends and family for help, but that's okay. They support me because they want me to be around for a lot longer, too!

Seriously, keep reading this board. What are the odds that it doesn't work for you? You have much greater odds that the obesity will kill you. That's just fact.

Please don't keep waiting. It's better to "inconvenience" your family for a bit now than to deprive them of YOU too early.

[kczar 166]

Ashkaymom, look at it this way. You're having this surgery to improve your health so that you can be there for your daughter long term. Its one of the reasons I'm getting sleeved. My daughter was diagnosed with MS and although she's doing well now, I want to be around as long as possible in case she needs me.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

To be totally honest, we all have our self talk that makes up excuses for us to prolong this procedure. But something has brought you to wanting to get this surgery. Whether it's to be in your child's life longer or to improve your health. The truth is, you will be both of these things, 1. living longer for your daughter and 2. the benefit of being healthier so that you can take care of your daughter. We are all scared of the unknown and we have been taught by our parents that it's not okay to be selfish! Well, let me tell you, it is not selfish. We have to take care of our health and needs before we can truthfully take care of others. When you feel better about yourself and are happier, your family will be much happier too. Today for the first time, my husband told me he loves my body and that I'm so much happier! Wow, the blew me away. I am so thankful I didn't run away from this procedure! This is life changing for the better. Relationships all around you will change and your daughter will reap the benefits.