Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I didn't post anything sooner because I was hoping he'd come back, but after 6 years of being together, he left a few days after my surgery (almost 3 weeks ago). We were bickering a lot and he said he had enough. I am so depressed. He won't even talk to me. I miss him so much. Not only that, but he has been a father to my son who doesnt know his real father. He also left me with all the bills and the expensive apartment which I can't afford on my own. He was supposed to help me after surgery too. I've been trying to stay positive but I've barely been able to get out of bed. He won't answer my calls or Facebook messages. It's like we don't exist to him anymore. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost my love, my family is falling apart, and my world is crumbling down around me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im so sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry! Was it partially because of the surgery? I hear it is sometimes considered a casualty of the surgery. It doesn't make it any better though... I will be praying for you <3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What terrible timing! Keep your eye on the prize, girl. You made a big life change for yourself and maybe it's a good thing to shed excess weight in the form of boys, too? I can't help thinking how much he's going to kick himself when he sees you in a few months..... Hang in there! You can do this!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think it has anything to do with the surgery itself. He seemed to be pretty supportive about it. I know he wanted me to lose weight too. I am so heartbroken.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You need a support system right now. Do you have anyone? Reach out for help when you need it, you will be so happy with your weightloss soon and you will realize he is a jerk that you don't need. I know right now it seems impossible but your life is on its way to becoming better and better. Be ready and smile for yourself and your child. If you ever need to just talk send me a message.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Get angry anger gives you power and strength this is your time he may be feeling insecure I believe where there is good there is better. You can make it just think after you get thin you may not want him ptetty selfish of him to leave the way he did . Just be strong

Sent from my SPH-D700 using VST

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My heart is with you, but not getting out of bed, is not good for you or your son. Not sure of your son's age, but no matter what he needs you. You need to take care of yourself because the real family you have is your son...not him. Getting healthy to take care of your son should be your only priority.

This guy can't be the "love" or the love of your life because he left. The love of your life would never abandon you. He doesn't answer calls, texts or on Facebook, it's time to let him go, but I would make sure he paid his balance of any bills due to you for your son.

Stop calling, stop texting, stop trying to reach him on Facebook, get a bill to him or get an attorney so he can recoup anything he owes.

Find close friends or relatives or a church to help you emotionally right now, but no matter what you are going through right now with this guy, don't let this physically do you harm, that's not fair to your child, that is your family and your #1 responsibility.

Take care of yourself and the rest will sort itself out. He's obviously not good enough for you or you wouldn't have been arguing a lot before surgeyr.

Good Luck and my prayers are with you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have my parents and my cousin for support, but they live kinda far. It's like my whole life cannot go on without him here. I told my boss I needed more time off. I can barely get out of bed let alone run around a salon pretending to be happy. Any time I have been able to get ahold of him he tells me that he will come by so we can talk, and then he doesn't show up and doesn't answer my calls. He's done that about 5 or 6 times already. As far as me losing weight and making him regret this, he looks at the surgery as it takes no effort on my part so even if I was skinny I think he'd still just see the fat girl he was with. I don't know. My mind is a jumbled mess. I just want my love and my family back together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know you say that he was supportive of your surgery, but was he really? Just because he said that doesn't make it true. You are transforming yourself, not everyone will be as happy for you as you might hope. But, you made the step towards life. You will have a long, healthy life to watch your son grow up. So, get it together girl! First thing! You must physically heal. Rest yes, but get out of that bed and walk, play with your son, hell, try on some new clothes! Tell yourself how beautiful and amazing you are. The first man in your life, is that little boy. Watch him while he's watching you. What do you see? Pure adoration, I'm sure. Breathe, meditate, nourish yourself and accept love from yourself. In a couple of weeks, get some help and find yourself somewhere more affordable to live. Get rid of anything that's not benefiting you anymore. Like my grandma used to say, when things get rough, put your lipstick on and keep going. Best wishes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My son is 12 years old and my parents have been helping me with him since the surgery. He was here for a little while but when I told them how depressed I was they offered to take him for a while. I might just end up going to their place myself. I need to be around people I think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

it's the hardest thing to do but you need to be selfish, especially now you need to relax and work on your life. I promise with time everything will fall into place!!

Just remember it will get easier with time. In time, you will find someone better.. Don't settle for someone that doesn't deserve you!!

My thoughts are with you!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know what to say right now after all the responses but again, your family is your son. Your love should be you and your son not this guy that doesn't want to be there.

When it's good it's really good....that's a saying that abused women use. When he's in a good mood and not hitting me, he's so loving.

Your son, being 12 needs to see a strong role model for a mother so he doesn't turn into a d'bag like the guy that left. It's time for you to get get out of bed, get your son and assure him that no matter what happens in the world, you will always be there for him.

I've had to raise a son on my own, I've dealt with stuff very similar to you, but you need a wake up call. Your son needs you to pull yourself out of the funk, get some mental health for the depression and take care of yourself. No guy...no guy in this world is worth putting your son in a situation where he feels someone else is more important than him, your depression over a guy that left does affect your son when you feel it's better that your parents take care of him.

Time to get into a doctor, get your priorities straight. Take care of yourself so you can take care of yourself. Eventually the rest will straighten itself out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A broken heart is a difficult thing to deal with. Lord knows I have been there! But my faith healed me and brought me out. Girl fall on your face and pray to God that his will manifest in you and your son's lives. We have to realize that everyone that enters our lives are not there for life. I once read some where that some people are in your life for a reason, some for a season, and some for a life time.

Girl I know all is earlier said than done but God is Real. Stay at the feet of Jesus and watch how he will give you peace that surpasses all understanding. Peace covers all because life will take place but how will handle it determines how life handles us. Darling shake yourself pray to your Daddy in heaven and have faith that he will make everything alright. I love you through the spirit and so does God! ????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • rinabobina

      I would like to know what questions you wish you had asked prior to your duodenal switch surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×