My Boyfriend Left Me

[aviarn 3]

STOP asking yourself why he left and treated you the way he did, and START asking yourself why you put up with it!

[june13sleever 223]

I am not the type that can let go and just be that strong. So there is nothing I can say that is going to help you. Cry, cry and then cry some more. Blow up his phone. Whatever you do is what you do...I do know that in time...you won't be this devistated...but no one can tell you any different. I just always tell my friends...don't risk losing your job! Bright side: At least you can't drown your sorrows in a bowl of ice cream! THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT!

[Willow216 91]

I'm really sorry to hear this! The only comment I can leave it "What Comes Around, Goes Around" thats a fact. He doesn't sound like much of a "Prince Charming" to me to leave you and your son like that after 6 years. He doesn't deserve you texting or calling him. Grieve if you must then get on with living for you and your son, there is someone special out there for everyone and you will find it if you pick yourself back up and shake the other dude off and get on with living, this guy probably did you a favor. Soon you will have a new body, new confidence, new self esteem, and most likely a new love!

God Bless!

[Catracks 865]

I see the OP hasn't replied since yesterday, so who knows, they could've had dinner last night and be on the mend. I do agree with OTR in that she never once said she was ready to be done with him, she just wants him back (whether he's prince charming or a ******). I do have to comment on that they were together for 6 years, doesn't anyone find it strange that they never got married? If this relationship was the greatest, and he was price charming, wouldn't she have wanted to snag him? He was a father to her son, he was financially responsible, he sounds like a catch. Did he want to be snagged? He could've been "playing house" the whole time. Either way, there were problems long before the surgery, and they didn't just start during the "manic female pre-op stage". Also, who can find a place to stay in that short of time, unless they went home to mommy or had a hottie waiting in the wings? Either way, when you "move in together" without being married, you may not be legally responsible for the bills, but you're morally responsible for handling the situation like a "man", not like a "little boy running away." I speak from experience, my ex-husband left in the same manner, "because I was fat and he felt he deserved better". He had a hottie waiting in the wings, and I had a pre-nup, so vengeance was mine. :-) To the OP, it gets better, and fortunately, you won't die from a broken heart. Get off the couch and go for a walk in the sunshine, do something to make yourself feel better. Everyday gets a little better. Go spend some time with your son. Most of all, reflect on whether you really want this "man" in your life, teaching your son to become irresponsible too. Good luck, and let us know how you're doing and how the weight loss is going. Hugs

This is just my experience: I had my daughter with a man who feels little more responsibility for his children than a dog does. He left us physically when my daughter was almost 4. He had left us mentally long before that. He left us with a rent we could not afford, unpaid bills and also raided his own daughter's savings account so he could go to Vegas with his new sucker, I mean GF. He his from the child support people, but I finally tracked him down and took him to court.

This was 14 years ago. When you have children and are a single parent, I believe you owe it to your kid not to shack up/move in/co-habitate with any man that has not said "I do" to you and vice versa.

This isn't about religion or stodgy, old fashioned moral values. It's about common sense. What is this guy really to her or her kid? Not much apparently if he can just up and walk out. Remember the old tacky saying? Why buy the cow if ..." Hate to be blunt, but the guy had it made until it just got to be too much of a bummer and he just walked away because, well, it was nice and all, but you are just a woman he lived with.

I know you can't tell people this. You also cannot tell them to stop Facebooking, calling and texting a man thinking that it will do any good. Actually it does harm.

I wouldn't live together with a man unless I was okay with the friends with benefits scenario and I didn't mind confusing the hell out of my kids and teaching them that this is normal.

To the original poster: Please don't get angry at me. Get angry at the guy who left and don't call him. It's beneath your dignity. Get a cheaper place or share the apartment with A FEMALE friend or a family member, cut cable and any other useless bills and move on. Let him come back to you if he wants to apologize and do it right this time. Just my opinion, but it's been well researched

P.S. I know you feel like crap now, but it's going to get better.

[aviiva 140]

There are.3 sides to every story his hers and the truth

[MinaT 669]

There are.3 sides to every story his hers and the truth

Ah but there is another story to this too...the 12 year old boy.

[Catracks 865]

Ah but there is another story to this too...the 12 year old boy.

Yep. I know I did irreparable damage to my daughter through poor decision making. She's seems okay, but I don't know if she will not trust men or be needy or what. She has good role models (my husband and her grandfather) and has good common sense, but who knows? There was a lot of hurt.

[aroundhky 1,174]

So sorry to hear that. He obviously wasn't there when you probably needed him most. I hope things improve on the romance side. Maybe channel that anger/negative energy towards exercise or something productive. Hang in there!

[Willow216 91]

There are.3 sides to every story his hers and the truth

No offense, And I don't mean any disrespect but what does this have to do with anything? Sure there are different sides to whatever story but she's hurting and sometimes a person needs to vent a little to try and feel better and this forum is made for us to kinda stick together and be there for each other when your feeling low.

As for OP he states that this guy should be commended on being dad to a boy for 6 years. As far as I see he abandoned this boy by up and leaving without a word. Yeah, he should run for Step-daddy of the year?!

[missmachine 100]

Wow, thank you everyone for the many replies filled with thoughts and advice. I knew I could count on the people here for support but I had no idea I would get this many responses.

To answer the question many of you have asked - after 6 years, why aren't we married... Well, we have talked about it. I was married once before and I want to be sure I get it right the next time. We are/were in no rush. We wanted to get married when both of us were confident, ready and financially stable, not when society says we need to get married because we have been together long enough. Which, also, yes we have had a rocky history, but we always worked it out. He was only 23 when we got together. I was 24. He was in a band and still had a lot of growing up to do. I had just left my then husband of 4 years. Now he's 30 and I'm 31. We have seen some of our friends get married and divorced, some twice over, in the history of our relationship. Nonetheless, we are/were still a family.

I know I have had low self esteem because of my weight and therefore have probably put up with a lot more **** than a hot girl would. But relationships are hard no matter what you look like. People are complex. Nothing is constant.

Thank you all so much. Your kind words mean a lot. Surprisingly, we are talking now, and might be spending the 4th together. Maybe this will lead to reconciliation.

[SleeveDreamer 383]

Glad to hear you are talking, but don't forget to take care of yourself and get walking! You should be out of bed walking as much as possile to avoid blood clots and get rid of the gas buold up in yours shoulders. How are you doing with your post op diet?

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Surprisingly' date=' we are talking now, and might be spending the 4th together. Maybe this will lead to reconciliation.[/quote']

Great to hear, I hope things go well for you.

[Ready4success 380]

I see the OP hasn't replied since yesterday' date=' so who knows, they could've had dinner last night and be on the mend.[/quote']

Am I good, or what? Too bad I don't have that kind of insight about my own relationships.

Good Luck, hun!

[Catracks 865]

Great to hear, I hope things go well for you.

Great to hear, I hope things go well for you.

Me too. I still say get your own place and continue to date until you do get married. It's just easy to fall back into old habits. The fact that other people break up really has no bearing on you. Make your marriage more than a civil contract. Now I know you are not Christian. You may be some kind of spiritual. Make your union spiritually deep and just make a rule that it will be forever. The romantic love waxes and wanes throughout the years, but it can develop into something deeper that will make it last through unbelievable hardship. Bickering and unpleasantness is not hardship. Loosing your child is hardship. Having a kid with a disease is hardship. Your partner having cancer is hardship. Losing your house in a fire is hardship.

I'm done with the soapbox.

[Willow216 91]

I'm glad to hear you are doing better and I wish you the Best for you and your family!! Just make sure you take good care of yourself for you and your son.

Best of Wishes to you..