"so How Much Weight Have You Lost?" Rant

[mommymar 34]

I obviously have issues with the body I am trapped in.

I got the surgery to hopefully relieve horrific arthritis pain that is unbearable.

This is a "RANT" area' date=' so I started ranting.

How do you cheat a sleeve??? I have been back into the hospital THREE TIMES now since surgery because I can't even get enough Fluid in to sustain life!!!

I have been in unbearable pain since the surgery, scarcely able to get in enough fluids to live- let alone get all my Protein in!!!

Of course I don't expect to get a Victoria Secret model's body- I was making a point about how people say "inner beauty" is all that matters- but THEY ARE WRONG. Give any man the choice between inner beauty in a fat and ugly body or in a VS model's body-- and NO CONTEST. Was just making a point.

I am WELL AWARE that I will be MORE DEFORMED after losing weight (that is IF my body gets in line and starts losing!). I *already* had sagging skin. I will be utterly atrocious if I lose more weight. But I HAD to try because of the arthritic pain in my back, knees, hips, and feet.

I have an elevated sedimentation rate in my blood and a slightly elevated rheumatoid factor, and brain lesions (not big enough to be M.S.- but they don't know what they are)... amongst other physical problems. Doctors are convinced I have an auto-immune, or two- but they cannot figure out which one(s). Apparently, 5-10% of people with auto-immune disorders do not carry the identifying antibodies to make diagnosis possible. And I suck and get to be in that minority. And if they can't diagnose properly- then they can't TREAT properly.

I can only assume whatever auto-immune disorder(s) I have, are wreaking havoc in my body now. My surgeon discovered I have an abnormal spleen during surgery, it was enlarged, bigger on the top than the bottom. He also said my organs were all squished together weird, which made surgery especially difficult.

Again, this section said it was for ranting, so I was ranting, getting things off my chest.

Good day.[/quote']

I am sorry you are miserable. Reguardless of the REASONS for it. You do have a lot working against you and it does sound like one of the best things for you is to "rant". Ranting can be really therapeutic. I wish there was a magic fix for you but the only thing I can speak to is that stupid dent. I was FREAKED after surgery when I saw that crater..... Holy heck, I was mortified. I didn't want my hubby to see, yet I was weak and needed help getting showered, dressed etc. I was sure it was permanent and I would need to deal with it. Luckily, it went away! Even though this is just one issue, it is a problem that probably isn't permanent. I am sending good thoughts your way. Good luck.

[sarabee323 3]

I am sorry you are miserable. Reguardless of the REASONS for it. You do have a lot working against you and it does sound like one of the best things for you is to "rant". Ranting can be really therapeutic. I wish there was a magic fix for you but the only thing I can speak to is that stupid dent. I was FREAKED after surgery when I saw that crater..... Holy heck, I was mortified. I didn't want my hubby to see, yet I was weak and needed help getting showered, dressed etc. I was sure it was permanent and I would need to deal with it. Luckily, it went away! Even though this is just one issue, it is a problem that probably isn't permanent. I am sending good thoughts your way. Good luck.

Your comment was greatly appreciated

[init4me 45]

You know what? I told people really early on that "I didn't want to focus on numbers." In reality, I was weighing myself every day... but I didn't want to share the numbers with anyone other than my husband. I didn't want people always asking me how much weight I lost. Some people like this - they feel it helps them to be "accountable" - but I didn't feel a need to be accountable to anyone but myself.

So, don't be afraid to put down your foot early and draw some clear boundries. You don't have to share personal information with anyone, and you don't owe ANYONE numbers or a blow-by-blow on how you are doing. Do what feel comfortable for you. The earlier you make these boundries clear, the easier (I think).

Congrats on your sleeve!! And for whatever it's worth, I think 20 pounds is absolutely amazing!

This is actually how I feel!!!! I don't mind telling someone what I've done ( but that only to people I think are intelligent to handle the information). When people ask how much weight I've lost I might tell them the actual or I'll just say a pretty good amount and leave it at that...when they are stupid enough to keep pressing I'll just look at them and smile

[init4me 45]

You know what? I told people really early on that "I didn't want to focus on numbers." In reality, I was weighing myself every day... but I didn't want to share the numbers with anyone other than my husband. I didn't want people always asking me how much weight I lost. Some people like this - they feel it helps them to be "accountable" - but I didn't feel a need to be accountable to anyone but myself.

So, don't be afraid to put down your foot early and draw some clear boundries. You don't have to share personal information with anyone, and you don't owe ANYONE numbers or a blow-by-blow on how you are doing. Do what feel comfortable for you. The earlier you make these boundries clear, the easier (I think).

Congrats on your sleeve!! And for whatever it's worth, I think 20 pounds is absolutely amazing!

This is actually how I feel!!!! I don't mind telling someone what I've done ( but that only to people I think are intelligent to handle the information). When people ask how much weight I've lost I might tell them the actual or I'll just say a pretty good amount and leave it at that...when they are stupid enough to keep pressing I'll just look at them and smile

[Star1221 270]

Sarabee, I just wanted to chime in for a second. I think you are being entirely to hard on yourself. But, we are our own worst critics. From your pic, I see warm eyes and a beautiful smile. I know you'll probably think it's just lip service. But you're a stranger, and I have no reason to just try to flatter you. But I do think you have body dismorphic disorder if you really believe all you've said about yourself. None of us on here started off as models. We all had issues with our image, or most would not have done this surgery. And going off of the full list of ailments, this would probably help you lots (I have degenerative disk disease, so I kinda know the feeling, though not comparing it to your's). If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for. And for a while the sleeve feels like an uphill battle. Just know you have support here. People who are brand new to people who are years out. All you have to do is ask for help. Feel better honey. I promise it gets easier. Just hang in there

[dar1983 751]

My Mom is the worst at this! I have lost 62 lbs in 3 months. She told me on the phone that it must be frustrating to "slow down". Slow Down!?! That is 20 Pound a Month! I said I am not one bit frustrated. That I am thrilled with my progress. That I think she thinks I should have lost 100 lbs. already. "No, I don't think that..." she says. Yeah, whatever. Her comments prove otherwise. I am not going to let her get to me. I am happy she is 1,400 miles away and I don't see her or have to deal with her every day. I am so thankful for this surgery. It is an amazing tool. I Love my sleeve. I think we need to IGNORE these people and get on with our lives! Keep up your great work!!!!

62lbs...in three months??? CONGRATULATIONS!!! Mom is just jealous! Revel in your success!

[bigkim 109]

Same for me. My sister would tell people "she had fat people survey" and only lost 30 pounds. I am thinking OMG it has been a month!!!! Now three months today I am down 44 pounds and she is finally speechless.

[bigkim 109]

I am EXTREMELY discouraged. I got my sleeve on June 12th. I first GAINED TEN POUNDS just in the 2 & 1/2 days in the hospital having only ice chips!!!

NOW' date=' THREE WEEKS and a few days later- I AM ONLY TWO POUNDS LESS THAN MY PRE-SURGERY WEIGHT.

I'M AFRAID THIS SURGERY WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. I HAD COMPLICATIONS. I'M IN ***CONSTANT*** PAIN. I CAN'T LIVE ANYWHERE EVEN CLOSE TO A NORMAL LIFE.

AND ALL THIS PAIN FOR WHAT?????????????? TWO MEASLY POUNDS?????????????????

SCREW THAT. SCREW THIS. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO DEPRESSED AND DISCOURAGED IN MY LIFE!

AN OLD FRIEND THAT I ALMOST NEVER TALKED TO ASKED AND I WAS PISSED.

NOT ONLY AM I ONLY 2 POUNDS LIGHTER AFTER MORE THAN THREE WEEKS OF liquid MUSH, I HAVE A ***MASSIVE DENT*** ON THE LEFT SIDE OF MY ABDOMEN.

SO, PRE-SURGERY, I WAS FAT, UGLY, AND STRETCH-MARKED.

NOW, POST SURGERY, I AM FAT, UGLY, STRETCH-MARKED, and ***DEFORMED***.

I'M UTTERLY MISERABLE.[/quote']

You are way to early to be upset. It works I am living proof. Leave the scale alone and focus on the healing process and getting ur fluids. I too thought I had made a mistake, but I promise it gets better....

[lisalalani 81]

Thanks dar1983! You are sweet!

[bigkim 109]

Obviously* I did not expect to lose it all overnight. I did expect to lose at least 20 pounds my first month. My neighbor across the street got the same surgery and I have watched her drop weight like crazy.

I NEVER expected to be days away from a month out and only 2 pounds down.

I NEVER expected to be this utterly miserable.

And I AM ugly. I took one very dark picture here in the best possible angle.. took about 20 pics before I got that one. What I really look like is thoroughly disgusting. And now' date=' I am thoroughly disgusted that I ever got this surgery.

And for anyone who wants to talk about "INNER BEAUTY" let's think logically for a moment:

***If a man could choose to have "INNER BEAUTY" inside of a fat and ugly body--- OR have "INNER BEAUTY" inside of a Victoria Secret model's body THERE IS NO CONTEST.

Life sucks when you are fat and ugly.

And not only do I not have the money for any plastic surgery, but there is NO amount of money that could even begin to fix me. I am stretch-marked ALL OVER.

Now I am tortured all day long, in pain, can't eat, NOT EVEN LOSING WEIGHT-- for what?????????

[/quote']

Okay u have got to chill out. If I were with u I would have to shake u.....UGLY seriously? How many of us fat folks think that and have been there? All of us girlfriend. Cut yourself some slack and breath. I was sleeved April 10....I did not even start losing weight until two months out. I was swollen and my body was in starvation mode because it is part of the process. Three months out today and the weight is truly falling off. Your time will come just like all of ours did. If u think your ugly why would others think your pretty? You got to have get rid of the negative attitude and work on the things u don't like about yourself......STOP THE CRAZY TALK! And work towards the new you.

[enigmachik 403]

I am EXTREMELY discouraged. I got my sleeve on June 12th. I first GAINED TEN POUNDS just in the 2 & 1/2 days in the hospital having only ice chips!!!

NOW, THREE WEEKS and a few days later- I AM ONLY TWO POUNDS LESS THAN MY PRE-SURGERY WEIGHT.

I'M AFRAID THIS SURGERY WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. I HAD COMPLICATIONS. I'M IN ***CONSTANT*** PAIN. I CAN'T LIVE ANYWHERE EVEN CLOSE TO A NORMAL LIFE.

AND ALL THIS PAIN FOR WHAT?????????????? TWO MEASLY POUNDS?????????????????

SCREW THAT. SCREW THIS. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO DEPRESSED AND DISCOURAGED IN MY LIFE!

AN OLD FRIEND THAT I ALMOST NEVER TALKED TO ASKED AND I WAS PISSED.

NOT ONLY AM I ONLY 2 POUNDS LIGHTER AFTER MORE THAN THREE WEEKS OF liquid MUSH, I HAVE A ***MASSIVE DENT*** ON THE LEFT SIDE OF MY ABDOMEN.

SO, PRE-SURGERY, I WAS FAT, UGLY, AND STRETCH-MARKED.

NOW, POST SURGERY, I AM FAT, UGLY, STRETCH-MARKED, and ***DEFORMED***.

I'M UTTERLY MISERABLE.

I wish I could just wrap you in a hug. I know you're frustrated. Don't give up. You'll start losing soon enough, I'm sure of it. The surgery puts the body through a lot of trauma and that trauma causes some people to hang on to the weight for awhile longer than others. The body hangs on to Water weight as a way of protecting the organs during trauma. I'm sure that is all that's going on here. Once your body recovers a little more, it will start dropping the weight. In the meantime, start working on you. Learn to love yourself. There has to be something about yourself that you like. Find that thing and start with it. Focus on that and be gentle with yourself. Give yourself the love and care that you would give someone else you truly care for. I promise it will get better. hugs.

[me4life 1]

I did tell a few people and I regret it. When I talk to them on the phone it's not "Hi how are things going" it's always "so how mauch weight have you lost".

[sarabee323 3]

I wish I could just wrap you in a hug. I know you're frustrated. Don't give up. You'll start losing soon enough, I'm sure of it. The surgery puts the body through a lot of trauma and that trauma causes some people to hang on to the weight for awhile longer than others. The body hangs on to Water weight as a way of protecting the organs during trauma. I'm sure that is all that's going on here. Once your body recovers a little more, it will start dropping the weight. In the meantime, start working on you. Learn to love yourself. There has to be something about yourself that you like. Find that thing and start with it. Focus on that and be gentle with yourself. Give yourself the love and care that you would give someone else you truly care for. I promise it will get better. hugs.

hug received. thankya. I *DID* finally start losing!! I was one month out on the 12th and in the hospital immediately prior to surgery I was 227 and now I am 213!!!!!!!!!!!!! Time to reset my tracker again :-D

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I both don't blame them AND think people are stupid, at the same time =P. On the one hand people are idiots and have lost all sense of decorum, asking damn stupid questions that are also wildly inapporopriate. However, I can understand their not being impressed with anything less than 50 lbs because people lose that amount all the timejust on regular diets, so it stands to reason that if you are super obese they aren't going to be that impressed by 20-30-40 lbs. Which is why I didn't tell anyone anything until I had lost over 75 lbs. That number strikes a chord with people, for some reason that number resonates with non-ops and they understand that you are serious and you mean business. Once I had lost over 100 lbs, and was in a regular non-plus size and everyone knew just by watching that I kept a very active lifestyle, suddenly people were talking to me about diet and exercise in these hushed respectful tones, like I was some kind of guru! It was both funny and disconcerting, to have average size women talk to me like I was the expert or the judge and I thought, why are they supplicating to the Fat Girl? People are insecure.

[sassypants 674]

i tell people I don’t really care and thankfully no one has said how much have you lost my mum asked a few times do you feel different within yourself after a month and I answered.

Friends who still are yet to see me thought I was coming out skinny I worked out why when you tell them you’re having more than half your stomach cut off and thrown away they think outer belly, so I switched to saying my inner stomach not outer belly lol

For the first month I wouldn’t put on jeans or anything I wore sweatpants and pjs because I didn’t want to not fit in a smaller size, but it felt good to feel what I was wearing becoming looser and waistband droopy thank heavens for draw strings lol

I persoanally don’t have scales in my house to weigh myself I do take measurements on the 30th of the month because that’s when I first got round to taking them.

Other than the hospital or 1 doctor visit weighing me I don’t have a clue.

I don’t honestly have a goal weight either they asked me a couple of times and I said I have no idea, I still don’t.

To date I am not even sure how much I have lost because the hospital cancelled this months appointment and pushed next months from the start to the end of the month so I only know what I have lost pre op till the 17th of june when the doc weighed me and that was 66lbs its more now but I wont know exactly till the 29th of next month.

I am just glad I am not hounded for what I weigh now over and over it would make my hormone flooded body snap on someone lol