"so How Much Weight Have You Lost?" Rant

[JD7176 84]

I never had issues revealing that I underwent WLS to people I know. I'm almost 3 weeks post-op and am getting out more, resuming my regular life and the one question that's starting to burn me is, "so how much weight have you lost?" with this wide eyed expression. When I say 20 or so, they almost get this disappointed look. Did you think I was going to lose 100lbs in 2.5 weeks?! WLS is a tool not a magic pill. It takes months and years and WORK to pull down those types of numbers.

I had to get that off my chest! Have a happy Saturday!

[karenb4729 309]

LOL - that was one of the reasons I didn't want to tell anyone - didn't want that kind of pressure. Now, people see me losing weight and probably think my cancer has come back because they look at me with such concern. (I have been cancer free for 23 yrs).

[MinaT 669]

Like Karen I only told my husband, son and my parents, no friends or relatives.

Everyone knows I started a diet last November. I lost 70 pre-surgery date (10 during the pre-op shake phase) and I lost 20 since surgery.

The only reason people are so shocked when they see me now is that though I lost 10 pounds a month - I wore the same clothes and just used safety pins to keep my pants up and it was through winter and we had a pretty cool spring.

Now that it's summer all my clothes from last year - 4x I can't wear all my 3x's hang on me and even the few 1x i bought pre-surgery are big on me. Many people didn't seem to notice the weight loss as much because of all the clothes I wore before.

I am glad I didn't bother telling people because I would be too blunt in my response to people. I admit, wls made me a lot more vocal in telling people they are rude

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

Did you think I was going to lose 100lbs in 2.5 weeks?!

JD716

my mom was coming for a visit about one month post WLS. When she called, she said "I can't wait to see my skinny daughter"

I laughed and said, sorry mom i'm losing weight, but after one month i am not exactly at goal

she was really disappointed

what are people thinking, do they think all this excess weight that we put on over the years, will melt off over a week-end? OMG

kathy

[Pennie 66]

You know what? I told people really early on that "I didn't want to focus on numbers." In reality, I was weighing myself every day... but I didn't want to share the numbers with anyone other than my husband. I didn't want people always asking me how much weight I lost. Some people like this - they feel it helps them to be "accountable" - but I didn't feel a need to be accountable to anyone but myself.

So, don't be afraid to put down your foot early and draw some clear boundries. You don't have to share personal information with anyone, and you don't owe ANYONE numbers or a blow-by-blow on how you are doing. Do what feel comfortable for you. The earlier you make these boundries clear, the easier (I think).

Congrats on your sleeve!! And for whatever it's worth, I think 20 pounds is absolutely amazing!

[Juliep4707 4]

This made my day! I could not agree with you more. People are so nosey that I think sometimes they forget you have feelings too.

[Webchickadee 716]

20 lbs in 3 weeks is FANTASTIC! I wonder if these people were on a diet themselves, if they could lose 6-7 lbs a week (that's a pound a day!). I HIGHLY doubt it!

Just as you say, people seem to think that WLS is some magic bullet. It is a tool. It helps us control our portion sizes. Period.

The rest of the hard work is up to us! We have to make good food choices, consciously decide to be more healthy, more active, drink more fluids and eliminate "junk" from our eating. That is difficult mentally, emotionally and physically. And none of it is assisted by the scalpel our surgeon used to remove 85% of our stomachs.

Anyone could have the VSG and continue to eat poorly (I'm sure some people do...). They will not succeed (certainly not long term), even though they are eating far smaller quantities than before.

So the next time someone asks you how much you've lost, rather than telling them the total weight, you could say something like....."I've dropped 2 pant sizes", or "the equivalent of a 1 year old child", or "I'm averaging 5-6 lbs a week"! I'm sure that will impress them and let you keep your privacy a bit more to yourself!

Just remember, you are the only one who has to be happy with your progress, your determination and your health. As long as you are happy with where you are at, nothing else matters!

Congratulations my dear. Just keep on "keeping on". You're doing great!

[JD7176 84]

Thanks everyone! I avoided it the first two weeks because my doc told me to not weigh myself until my first post op appt. He told me about the weight gain first and didn't want me to get discouraged. Even now I only get on once, maybe twice a week. I've never been one to get on the scale everyday.

I think I'm going to tell people my scale is broken lol.

[Foxbins 625]

If people were forward enough to ask, I never gave them a number. When they said, "Oh, how much have you lost?" My answers were, "A large watermelon" or "A cocker spaniel" or "A bale of hay." People who were interested could do the estimate or look it up, but in the meantime I'd change the subject.

[Almostthere34 128]

I know exactly how you feel. I was sleeved on the 15th and I am getting the same questions. I hear the disappointment when I say 10 lbs or so. I lost 10 on the pre-op diet so I total 20 or so total but I swear people expect you to be skinny by the next time you see them.

[msbehavekc 2]

I have been working out everyday and it is paying off....41 pounds lost!....me like many of you get the same reactions from people..how much have you lost? ...that's it?...it was vsg not liposuction....they can't still my joy...

[cmw10000 35]

Well I told my husband and kids. Any other family has not been told. My work Peeps I told them Most are overweight and I had hoped to encourage them to get health as well. They are very supportive and I don't mind when they ask how much I have lost. It's very noticeable. When I changed shifts I didn't share quite as much but I will in time. Good Luck to all and don't get to weirded out by the attention. It's a good thing that we are loseing weight.

[lisalalani 81]

My Mom is the worst at this! I have lost 62 lbs in 3 months. She told me on the phone that it must be frustrating to "slow down". Slow Down!?! That is 20 Pound a Month! I said I am not one bit frustrated. That I am thrilled with my progress. That I think she thinks I should have lost 100 lbs. already. "No, I don't think that..." she says. Yeah, whatever. Her comments prove otherwise. I am not going to let her get to me. I am happy she is 1,400 miles away and I don't see her or have to deal with her every day. I am so thankful for this surgery. It is an amazing tool. I Love my sleeve. I think we need to IGNORE these people and get on with our lives! Keep up your great work!!!!

[Almostthere34 128]

My Mom is the worst at this! I have lost 62 lbs in 3 months. She told me on the phone that it must be frustrating to "slow down". Slow Down!?! That is 20 Pound a Month! I said I am not one bit frustrated. That I am thrilled with my progress. That I think she thinks I should have lost 100 lbs. already. "No' date=' I don't think that..." she says. Yeah, whatever. Her comments prove otherwise. I am not going to let her get to me. I am happy she is 1,400 miles away and I don't see her or have to deal with her every day. I am so thankful for this surgery. It is an amazing tool. I Love my sleeve. I think we need to IGNORE these people and get on with our lives! Keep up your great work!!!![/quote']

Omg, 20 lbs a mos is slow. I hope I lose that "slow".

[topgun 63]

How much we weigh is such a personal issue and no one's business but our own. I only discuss my actual weight with my wife... anyone else (except this forum, of course!) gets generalities, not specifics. I've lost 105 pounds since my journey began, about 51 pounds pre-op and the remaining 54 pounds after surgery on 03/28/12. I'm losing about 17 pounds a month average and now that I'm close to goal, I'm more concerned with feeling good rather than losing weight.