When did you tell your children?

[juliek 0]

My oldest daughter was 8 when I had the surgery and she knew of it almost from my first appt with my surgeon. She also went to visit the surgeon with me on one occasion to ask questions. She is very into it. She is also one of the main reasons I did this as she is starting to be overweight. My losing weight has been good for her. She hasn't lost any weight but has maintained her current weight for over a year (which her ped says is the goal for a child her age, to maintain current weight until her height catches up).

I have actually had several surgeries, (including spine) so this one didn't phase her too much. My twins were only 3 so they just knew I was going away over night.

[Bettina 0]

Ok, I told Emma on Saturday. We sat down and talked about it and I showed her the brochures they sent home with me. I've left it up to her whether she wants to come to the hospital that day or go to school & dance class (my daughter is very active - I absolutely refuse to have her go through this later in life).

She did ask a few questions. The hardest was "what happens to me if something happens to you." (Her dad died when she was 1) I told her it was a very safe procedure and I would be fine, but if I ended up in the hospital longer than expected she would stay with grandma & grandpa.

Overall, I think it went well.

Thank you again for all the advice.

I really do think it was for the better that you told her!! I didn't know that her father died, so I now see your initial concern. But, I find the more I talk about it at home, the more at ease everyone is. If you shut them out then they dwell and worry about the unknown. Rachel even reminded me this morning that I couldn't eat something because it would make me gain weight--lol we saw cupcakes on TV and I said yum! I started grinding up my food for practice, so they see me getting ready and they are more relaxed than they were initially. Especially with Emma losing her father--it was best you told her now--in the event that something bad did happen--which we all know won't but lets just put worse case senario out there----she would understand why it happened and that not everyone in her life just up and leaves her. (morbid i know, but it has to be said) My kids know that on the odd event that I wouldn't pull thru, I was at least doing something that was important to me. So now, I'd mention it every once in a while just to make sure that she is not worrying herself crazy. My daughter did that when I had to have back surgery...I had no clue...her teacher told me! --it was when she was 8 and I had to have back surgery-this is my 18 yr old who went thru this-I would have never even known had the teacher not called!!! Kids want to protect their parents from worry so they keep it all in. I saw it happen with my first two that is why I made sure that the youngest one knows everything and we discuss it openly.

Yikes this is getting wordy now..lol. I think you made the right choice!!!

Take care!