God Protects Drunks and Fools-I Guess

Tired_Old_Man · August 30, 2006

How to come home drunk and still get a hot Breakfast...

Jack woke up with a huge hangover the night after a business function.

He forced himself to open his eyes and the first thing he saw was a couple of aspirins next to a glass of Water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sat up in bed and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looked around the room and saw that it was in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So was the rest of the house. He took the aspirins, cringed when he saw a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and noticed a note on the table: "Honey, Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!!"

He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son was also at the table, eating. Jack asked, "Son..what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replied, "Oh, THAT!...Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, bitch, I'm married!!!"

Broken table - $200

Hot breakfast - $5

Red Rose bud - $3

Two aspirins - $0.25

Saying the right thing, at the right time... PRICELESS