Honesty Vs. Lying About The Surgery

[Lovely 0]

Hi everyone,

I am considering getting the surgery done, but I'm wondering how I will explain things to my friends. My family is very supportive, and I plan on telling my boyfriend the truth about it as well. However, I am worried about what I will tell friends and acquaintances.

Unfortunately, there will be no way for me to hide that I am having some type of surgery done. Then, I will also have to explain the dietary restrictions later on, since my friends and I frequently go out to eat and there is always food and Snacks at our parties.

How did you choose to handle the situation? If you lied, what did you tell people?

Thanks!

[kimmy*custis 276]

I personally told everyone thay would listen what I was doing. I got lucky and got no negative feedback but it is a personal choice for everyone. I figured that if I let them know it would be easier at parties, dinners etc so I wouldnt have to explain myself every time. Good luck!

[justmeandmysleeve 91]

I am three weeks pre-op, I start my diet tomorrow....yikes! I have chosen to tell my parents, husband, brother, sister in laws, and boss. That's about it. I have told my two closest girlfriends since they are a big source of support for me.

I really don't feel comfortable yet. I work in our family business and I don't want to feel like I am constantly being monitored. I asked my doctor what she would say yesterday and she said "tell people who notice the weight loss that you are on a high Protein diet with small portions and you're exercising!" It really is the truth, until I am ready to out myself I am going to keep my personal life personal.

My husband and I started trying for a baby a year ago. I told everyone in the WORLD that we were "trying." It was awful because I cannot get pregnant at my current weight. Everyone is still asking "so what's taking so long." I need to focus on being healthy before we bring a little one into the world.

Good luck whatever you decide. I have been suprised at the support from the family and friends I have told!

[ShapeShifter 64]

I tell everyone of my plans. I've been 100 lbs overweight for 20 years, and WW, etc. never helped due to PCOS. When I finally see success, telling folks I'm cutting my portions will not make sense - since that hasn't worked before. I am an open-book, extraverted kind of girl, so this has worked for me... acquiring oodles of support and dozens of cheerleaders. Some people are more private and don't care to share. It's all good. Just go with what feels right for you. No judgments here.

[alovio 76]

my self i also told everyone, I am a own my own barbershop so i am very much in public on daily basis, therefore there was no way to keep secret. I have lost 120 something pounds in last 7 months so people notice. My barbershops name is Big Al's so now evryone tells me I am gonna have to change name to little Al's. Its funny to me but a compliment. there will always be someone that is gonna protest surgery you just have to explain to them its something you need to do for yourself. There isnt a day that goes bye that someone doesnt tell me I am looking good or they ask me how I feel. I just put a smile on my face and thank them very much. So get ready for lots of compliments. Good luck and my advice is tell everyone dont be ashamed of bettering your life.

[thinmymind 107]

Everyone I know is used to my crazy dieting. Last year, I did 12 weeks of a liquid diet, so me doing liquids now post op is not raising eyebrows. The only thing that will raise eyebrows is that it is finally working.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

I am worried about what I will tell friends and acquaintances.

Lovely

this is a common discussion. I know some people yell from the rooftop in excitement that they are having the surgery - others choose not to tell anyone, except family or......?

In my case i told only my family - they were very happy for me and supportive.

IMO you don't owe anyone an explanation if you don't want to say anything, or say as much as you want to say.

when people see you not eating as much as you used to- you can say i am trying to change my life style by eating differently this is very true, maybe exercising too. say as much as you want, or as little as you want.

we shouldn't worry about what others thinkl. (easier said than done) hopefully anyone you tell will be supportive.

BTW i wouildn't lie about ,the surgery, it might come back & bite you.

good luck

kathy

[Catracks 865]

At first I didn't want to tell anyone. Now I tell whomever asks. I don't care one way or another. Strangers like waitresses wondering why you didn't eat do not get an explanation other than, "I'm full."

I didn't really tell co-workers either. Not many of them. If we go out, I eat what I want and box the rest. No explanation needed.

[karenb4729 309]

I also have kept my surgery to myself. My husband, 2 of my kids, and 2 very close friends are the only ones that know that "truth". My co-workers think that I had my gall bladder out and a hernia repair (which actually was suppose to happen but when the Dr got in he didn't see a hernia). I started dieting back in January and in March went on a low carb diet recommended as pre-op by my surgeon and as a result lost almost 40lbs before surgery so pretty much everyone is used to my diet. After the surgery I was with my in-laws and they were asking about the surgery since I hadn't told them - I basically said that I had a problem with my stomach and then needed to remove a portion of it. That was the end of it - I'm more inclined to tell the truth to family but my co-workers, forget it - they don't need to know my personal business.

You have to do what you feel most comfortable doing - I think this is very much an individual decision.

[Ready4success 380]

I've told everyone who talks to me. Amazing, the more people I tell, the more people admit to considering it too. Two of my co-workers are going to my bariatric surgeon, and I never would've known had I not thrown it out there first.

[Writergirl 230]

I think if you don't tell the people you hang out with, they'll feel pretty betrayed and hurt when they do find out (and they eventually will). I told my family and close friends before surgery. Didn't want to tell a ton of people because I wasn't confident I'd actually go through with it, and I was also worried I'd fail, just like I failed at every other attempt. But now, it seems EVERYONE knows. I love when people know but they try not to let on that they know. I'm not hiding it. But when people ask how I'm doing, I Do lt them know the weight isn't "melting off" (the perception out there!) and that I've had to change every one of my bad habits, exercise, and make healthy choices to succeed. I've gotten nothing but respect and admiration from people. Not one single negative comment during the entire process! I hope you experience the same level of love, encouragement and support I did!

[SpaceyCasey 97]

I've kept mine a secret as well. my husband and my mother know. Not even my father or my 4 siblings know. Keeping it a secret for me has been easy when people ask what I'm doing to lose weight I just tell them I eat small portions through out the day which is not a lie.

[Amanda 3.0 140]

I've not kept it a secret, but I don't tell everyone either. I am kind of a private person in real life so I only mention it if there is a reason.

If I get a vibe that someone doesn't approve, or won't be supportive, I don't bring it up around them anymore.

If someone asks questions, especially if a little more information may help them (or someone they know) in some way, I am happy to discuss my experience openly.

I think you will learn how to handle it in your situation, but definitely don't lie if you can help it.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I told my hubby, son and daughter, best friends, sister and brother in-law and nephew. My FIL and MIL never asked and that was ok. They did notice my weight loss and told me how good I was looking and that My hubby is gonna have to stop eating so much and get in shape. LOL. I pretty much tell everyone as long as it's appropriate. I have only had a negative experience from my best friend and she was freaking out telling me I really didn't need surgery, I just needed to work on losing weight. Now I'm watching her gain weight and the unhappiness when she's cloths shopping. But I let her struggle with her issues and I still tell every one. I love my sleeve and it's the best thing I've ever done for me. I'm not going to worry about what others think because what do they know really! Nothing, absolutely nothing! So here we are with surgery or contemplating surgery and I believe I will always speak my truth, yes, I had wls and I love it! That's what I tell them. No explanations as to why. It is my business. Most are curious as to what it actually is so I educate them.

[Pixie Jen 7]

I told my immediate family, a few of my friends and a few people at work. The reason I wasn't open about it was due to all the stories everyone wants to tell you about how they know someone who had the surgery and this or that happened. I didn't want to hear that for the rest of my life. Now when people ask I just tell them I lost the weight by Portion Control and exercise. It may be a little white lie but it's one to keep my sanity.