Feeling Down

[zoey1176 58]

I want this surgery so bad, but my family does not support me neither do my friends or co workers. And to make it worse I'm self pay so I have been looking at Dr.Rod in Juarez which is very accredited. Everyone thinks I'm mental, except my husband who backs me no matter what. Have any of you come across this if so what did you do? I feel like I might have to sneak off and tell know one, but my husband,which is sad.

[Minckle 87]

YES! My family was the worst. In the end, they supported me but I'll tell you two things I figured out:

1. There is a lot of misinformation about WLS out there. Most people don't know the difference between the LapBand or the Sleeve. If they get informed and understand it, they will support you. If they don't, they walk around comparing you to the "fat one from Wilson Phillips".

2. If your family is fat (mine is) and some of your relationship is around food, it's going to be tough for them. My mom and I have spent many hours as cohorts in crime, being "bad" and eating "bad things" to excess. Getting the sleeve meant I wasn't her cohort anymore and it hurt her feelings and made her feel like I was rejecting her. She also took it personally like SHE was the reason I was fat and had food issues (which, I mean, she IS. But no sense being mean and reminding her of it).

I finally just told them that I was sick and the surgery would fix me. That if I had a cancerous tumor, no one would think I was crazy for wanting it removed so that I could live longer, right? I told them that I was an adult and was going to make the decision for myself. So they could either support me or not, but their support wasn't going to influence my decision.

It was a rough couple of months, and we got into it at almost every family gathering, but ultimately my mom was with me when I went into surgery and my dad was with me when I came out.

Hang in there!

[zoey1176 58]

I feel like if I sneak off, I'm not being loyal to my parents. I'm 35, but it's just a respect issue with me.

[Minckle 87]

Sneaking off won't solve anything. This is a hard thing to do so you've got to make the decision for you, regardless of outside opinion.

[zoey1176 58]

My parents will never go for this, much less i did not even get to the Mexico part. They will flip with that part.

[BlaqBeary 23]

Thirty-five or seventeen, you have to think of yourself and the life you live everyday, which is the weight issue. It's unfortunate when you don't have the support you need. And I find it wonderful your husband is behind you. When I discussed VSG with my hubby, he told me he loved me no matter what size I am. he met me overweight and married me overweight. He said, if this is what I want to be sure I am doing this for me and no one else. My Mom had mixed feelings, but was not against it at all. She had a friend who passed away from having gastric bypass at the time I mentioned I am in the process. So, of course as a mother she was worried for an outcome that something could go wrong. But my family and friends have been supportive all the way.

You will be fine. Think of yourself and your children. Most of all if it bothers you that much, try again speaking with your parents. and be stern about your decision. Sometimes we have to go against the grain.

[SunnyCox 245]

I told the few people who would support me - my dad, step-dad, and SO. I haven't told anyone else. I leave tomorrow to be sleeved by Dr. Kelly on Thursday. I certainly wish I felt as though I could talk to the rest of my family about my surgery, but I don't have the desire to do so at this point. I know how you feel. In my opinion, if your family respects you as much as you do them, they will listen without being judgmental.

[zoey1176 58]

I told the few people who would support me - my dad' date=' step-dad, and SO. I haven't told anyone else. I leave tomorrow to be sleeved by Dr. Kelly on Thursday. I certainly wish I felt as though I could talk to the rest of my family about my surgery, but I don't have the desire to do so at this point. I know how you feel. In my opinion, if your family respects you as much as you do them, they will listen without being judgmental.[/quote']

I know they are concerned for me. Good luck and let me know how you do.

[thinmymind 107]

I feel like if I sneak off' date=' I'm not being loyal to my parents. I'm 35, but it's just a respect issue with me.[/quote']

I snuck off to Mexico to have surgery with Dr. Kelly two weeks ago. The only person that knew was my husband. We had a ridiculous lie about where I was. I still haven't told them and I honestly don't think I will.

[tonibugg 64]

I am 41 and when I ran this by my dad he freaked out on me and forbid me to do the surgery!! LOL! I understand the feelings though, I was just sleeved June 29th by Dr Rod in Juarez and have not regretted a single minute of it! My husband went with me and my mom came to visit and the hospital arranged her visit for me! I told my dad the day before surgery and he fussed but ultimately apologized and sent me messages the whole time apologizing. My mom is now having the surgery and I couldn't be happier at this point=) Dr Rod was great, Juarez was not half as bad as I thought it would be, and the hospital and staff were amazing. Great choice! do this for you and your quality of life, don't look back in 5 years and wish you had done it!!

[thinoneday 445]

I didn't tell a soul except my hubbie, daughter, and of course my boss. My mom didn't find out for about 1 year, and that's only because she came to visit. . . .if she hadn't done that, she still wouldn't know! hahahah. . . My mom is the wildest drama queen when it comes to stuff like this. . . so the less she knows, the better it is for me.

[victoriatxgirl 64]

My mom is all for it!and my dad..really hasnt said much.my co workers and somewhat not with it.my son says im wasting my money lol but my 6 yr old daughter is exstatic lol!she cannot wait til i lose.but its your choice and not theirs.your choosing to live a healthier lifestyle.