Being Treated Different By Strangers

[lessofmeismore 1,405]

I'm currently 45 lbs down from my original weight before starting my pre op diet. I lost 20 pre op and have lost 25 post op. I don't seem to notice any huge change in my body, I have gone down a size in clothes. My thing is, is it just my imagination or are people noticing me and exchanging pleasantries with me now because of just 45 lbs lost? I told my daughter that people actually seem nicer and or actually acknowledge me now. She laughed and thought Im silly. But it seems like it to me. Now I'm not sure to be offended by the nice people or glad. Is it just me? Any one else get this feeling? How should we feel?

[AliveAgain 283]

I've read this study and that study, it's well-researched that there is a stigma against the obese. In simple terms, we're seen as part of the world's problem much in the same way people give dirty looks to those who still drive Hummer SUV's. When you have the news blasting at you all the time about the healthcare crisis, fuel costs, and bullying you start to want to blame someone. Often, it's the obese. I know I have a stigma toward smokers in the same way. I know they're people just like you and me, but I often think, "why do you keep up such a nasty habit? why can't you quit?" I'm sure some stranger looks at me the same way and thinks, "why can't you stop stuffing your face? you're the reason my health insurance premiums are through the roof!" It's the same because I never have been nor ever will be a smoker, so it's hard for me to understand what it must be like to try to quit. I truly believe they would be happier people if they quit. The same way that stranger can't understand that diets don't always work for everything, that there can be underlying hormonal or genetic issues as to why I'm carrying extra weight, but they also think I'd be a better person if I lost weight.

It's happened to me, too. I've lost almost 80lbs and get more doors opened for me, more smiles from strangers, more engaged conversations. But I can't say it's all because of my weight. I know I've changed, too, from losing weight. I smile more, I laugh more. I'm overall a happier person. Perhaps the vibe I was putting off when I was 275lbs - plagued with Migraines, painful PMS every month, constant fatigue, chronic illnesses - wasn't the most engaging?

I've had a lot of people tell me that - literally - it looks like I had STRESS removed from my face. That made me do a lot of soul searching....

If you want to know more, there is the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance with some interesting links.

[Itsanewdaycassandra 45]

I agree it is sad but true, IDT it is in your head.

[lessofmeismore 1,405]

Thank you, I'm going to read the link you posted. Thank you for a very helpful and informative response.

It is sad isn't it? But it seems it is true and very much a part of our society. Thank you both for your responses!

[jb14075 10]

I've noticed it too but like emelefe I also think at least part of it has to do with my own personality & attitude being much better/more cheerful.

[JDHenin 165]

I'm sure you have a new found confidence about yourself. I sure do! I'm down 105lbs total and def hold my head up higher these days. And I got a wink from a nice looking guy last week!!! So yea you enjoy that about yourself and enjoy those pleasantries.

[lessofmeismore 1,405]

Thanks you guys

Definitely going to start enjoying it

I'm looking forward to the day I get a wink Hehe!

[NancyJerry 139]

I've read this study and that study, it's well-researched that there is a stigma against the obese. In simple terms, we're seen as part of the world's problem much in the same way people give dirty looks to those who still drive Hummer SUV's. When you have the news blasting at you all the time about the healthcare crisis, fuel costs, and bullying you start to want to blame someone. Often, it's the obese. I know I have a stigma toward smokers in the same way. I know they're people just like you and me, but I often think, "why do you keep up such a nasty habit? why can't you quit?" I'm sure some stranger looks at me the same way and thinks, "why can't you stop stuffing your face? you're the reason my health insurance premiums are through the roof!" It's the same because I never have been nor ever will be a smoker, so it's hard for me to understand what it must be like to try to quit. I truly believe they would be happier people if they quit. The same way that stranger can't understand that diets don't always work for everything, that there can be underlying hormonal or genetic issues as to why I'm carrying extra weight, but they also think I'd be a better person if I lost weight.

It's happened to me, too. I've lost almost 80lbs and get more doors opened for me, more smiles from strangers, more engaged conversations. But I can't say it's all because of my weight. I know I've changed, too, from losing weight. I smile more, I laugh more. I'm overall a happier person. Perhaps the vibe I was putting off when I was 275lbs - plagued with Migraines, painful PMS every month, constant fatigue, chronic illnesses - wasn't the most engaging?

I've had a lot of people tell me that - literally - it looks like I had STRESS removed from my face. That made me do a lot of soul searching....

If you want to know more, there is the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance with some interesting links.

Very well put! I was told the other day that I "glowed." That was a great compliment, since before losing my 50 pounds I didn't even want to look people in the eye! Enjoy it!