One Of My Best Friends Doesn't Support Me

[Ready4success 380]

I am really excited about this decision in my life, so I talk about it with everyone, even people who don't agree with it. The one person that I expected to get support from, who has been morbidly obese her entire life, ignores anything I say about the surgery. She had an open R-en-Y back in 2001. She lost like 125lbs, but has since then gained all but a small amount back. If I even mention a doctor's appt about the sleeve, she either ignores me or says something snide. It really hurts my feelings, because back in 2001, when she had WLS, I was totally supportive. I knew that R-en-Y was not for me, but I supported her because I knew how bad she wanted to lose the weight. It's sad because I really want to share this experience with her, but my family has told me not to tell her anything else and not to tell her when I'm having my surgery. We've been friends since 1st grade.

[Nate 292]

She's probably not being supportive because of her experience with WLS. She might be opposed to it because she thinks the same thing will happen with you. If she can't accept it, just don't include her in that aspect of your life right now. I know it will be hard because she's such a good friend, but sometimes even our friends act like goofs. Just hang in there and know that you have the support of so many others, including everyone here.

[kimmy*custis 276]

I agree with Nate, she didnt have a good outcome with her wls so she isnt being supportive. She may be jealous...never know. Have you tried talking to her, face to face about this? If after that she doesnt support you, you can come back to us...we will support you 110%, we are all family here! Good luck with the talk

[tonileebre 3]

I have two friends that im very close with that both do not agree... It really does make it rather hard when you want something so badly and the ppl that you thought would be there to help you through are not. So I totally understand, but this is for US and not them so dont sweat it and keep on smiling

[Amanda 3.0 140]

I truly believe, when I read stories of our obese friends not being supportive of the surgery, that it is due to either their fear of losing their fat buddy, or being left behind. Just don't talk about the surgery with her and surround yourself with supportive people, and see how it goes.

You may lose the friendship over this, but if so, let it be on her. Also, if this happens, let her come back around if she tries.

[Ready4success 380]

Thanks everybody. My feelings are hurt, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to call or text her. I can't imagine having the surgery and not telling her, but I'm afraid she wouldn't come see me and it would be even more hurtful. I just don't understand.