Messed Up...again

[Ready4success 380]

Ok, so I came to this site and got all hyped up about losing weight before the physician imposed pre-op diet. True to form, I lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks doing high Protein, low carb...then TOM. I used that excuse as to why I had to have a jalopeno cheeseburger with large fries from Whataburger, Domino's pizza, a strawberry shake from Jack-in-the Box, Peanut Butter M&Ms, etc, etc, etc. I have sabotaged myself with stuff I never eat (a strawberry shake? Yuk). The worst thing of all is that I decided to do this right before my last PCP visit (Wednesday) and last NUT visit (Thursday). I really wanted to impress them, and I blew it, again. It's like I'm so anxious and nervous about getting approval for surgery that I'm eating everything in sight. Why am I doing this? I feel like I have no control. Hell, I didn't eat that bad in when I was at my worst. Of course, I feel so low today that I'm just going to have shakes and replacement meals for the rest of the week, but that won't help with my appointments. I feel like a big fat loser, and not the good kind either. Anybody else go through this?

[NancyJerry 139]

You are going to have to learn to forgive yourself. You'll still run into those food options post surgery and if you eat them, even just small amounts on a regular basis you won't be successful after the sleeve. But we all are faced with that and none of us are perfect. So, forgive (don't forget), learn and improve. Hopefully your recent run-in with food will not prevent you from having the surgery at all.

Good luck and remember, the sleeve doesn't prevent you from being human! It will still take will power and good choices, but the sleeve does make that stuff come easier!! Good luck!

[Ready4success 380]

Thanks, Nancy. Now, I'm afraid that they'll make me wait longer before submitting for approval. Maybe I need to wait. I don't know what's wrong with me.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Sounds like you were having a food funeral! Yep, that's it. now it's time to get back on track. Talk to your NUT about this and that your back on track now. Talk about your fears so that you can work through them, and not sabotage yourself anymore. You can do this, it's not the end of the world. Look at your pattern of self sabotage and learn from it. You couldn't change this pattern unless you seen it in action. So let's move forward and i really don't think this is going to stop you from having your procedure. Keep moving forward and forgive yourself for this mistake.

[Ready4success 380]

Thanks Dorrie. My biggest fear is that my behavior is a sign that I'm not ready. Will I be honest with myself and listen to the sign, or just go forward and fail even with the tool. I didn't have any of these doubts before this past week. Now, I don't know anymore.