My Hubby Doesn't Support Me Spending $15K For Surgery

[tango16 1]

I've struggled with my weight my whole life (I'm 53). 15-20 pounds overweight in high school, then 30-40 pounds overweight in my 20's, then gradually creeping up to 75-80 pounds overweight. I've tried every diet known to man and now I'm ready to make this big step of surgery, but my insurance will not cover it. I want to take the $15,000 needed out of my 401K and my husband does not agree. In addition to wanting to look better for myself and my husband, I want to feel better. My back, legs and feet hurt all the time and I have no energy. Any idea on how I can convince my husband to support me with this decision? I'm pretty much to the point of doing it with or without his support.

[sdb1147 54]

Take him shopping and show him that pretty red (or black, or blue ?), skimpy dress you'll be able to fit into. Just a thought. Good luck.

[thishastowork 3]

If you belong to a credit union, get a signature loan with low interest. It can be paid off in 3 or 4 years. Show hubby some before and after pics of others, it may motivate him as well.

[Lissa 2,631]

SDB is a man, so I'd take his advice on how to convince your husband to go along with surgery. However, my hubby wasnt supportive pre-op either. Nowadays, all he can do is brag to people about how much weight I've lost and how much better I look.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

I want to take the $15,000 needed out of my 401K

tango

after reading alot of the above posts plus when i said don't,don't ever take money out of your 401K i probably made a mistake referring to you are taking out money from your 401K permantly.

i guess i made a mistake somewhere - a loan from your account that you will pay back to your own account should be fine.

think i better stop responding for awhile since i made a mistake.

sorry for my error

apologies sent your way

kathy

[Pat Z 41]

Why not get a loan from your 401k then you can repay yourself. And at 3% finance charge even better then some banks. You will not be taxed on that since you will be repaying it back and can take up to 6 years to pay if you want it that long. That's what I did!!

[Debi Morris 14]

Well I have to tell you my story. I have been placed on disability because of all my ailments. All of them except my back, I feel, are results from being overweight. I have felt so bad (ill), have had zero energy and have not felt like doing anything. Our social life has gone from always entertaining to not even going to events. Not even me and now everything about me has changed. I have cried and cried and told my husband how much I needed this for a second lease on life. I truly felt like if I didn't have this surgery I wouldn't be here in a few years to tell my story. I'm 56 and love life. I used to love doing everything with family and friends. Used to be the life of the party. My party came to a screeching halt!

My husband finally realized the importance of this surgery. Not only for me but for our family, our children and grandchildren. I too had to pay cash and we took part from our 401 and part from a credit card with zero% interest for a period of time which we are paying back so we aren't paying any interest.

I know if you explain how you know your health will do nothing but go downhill and how you need this tool to assist you not only in getting skinnier but more importantly getting healthier and during the process learn how to feed your family better choices for a healthier family (which means less money spent on medical care), I'm sure he'll come around.

P. S. don't forget the part on how you'll become more amorous in bed

Best of luck to you. Let us know WHEN you're successful and how you're WLS is coming along

[JMarshall 352]

Does he not support you having th surgery? or does he not agree with the cost of having the surgery ?

[deekaspor 89]

Get it done in Mexico. I had mine there, paid 4500 bucks and LOVE my sleeve. I was a little nervous since I do not speak Spanish, but all went well and I did not have any problems.

[thinmymind 107]

Mine was $5500 in Mexico with Dr. Kelly. I highly recommend him. There were zero problems with me not speaking spanish. Dr. Kelly speaks impeccable english as does his assistant, Omar.

[cookies 56]

Why not get a loan from your 401k then you can repay yourself. And at 3% finance charge even better then some banks. You will not be taxed on that since you will be repaying it back and can take up to 6 years to pay if you want it that long. That's what I did!!

Careful there. If you lose your job or want to leave your job for any reason your loan has to be paid back immediately. I'd suggest any other option out there before digging into your 401k. Been there, done that one with my lap band surgery ages ago.

[allnewme 262]

I agree with checking out the cost of having it done in Mexico, I am self pay and chose to go there because of the all inclusive cost. You have to do what you have to do BUT it is less expensive to go south of the border. I chose Dr. Alvarez for personal reasons, he is more expensive but I know he is the right surgeon for me. Do some research and follow your heart.

[Pat Z 41]

Careful there. If you lose your job or want to leave your job for any reason your loan has to be paid back immediately. I'd suggest any other option out there before digging into your 401k. Been there' date=' done that one with my lap band surgery ages ago.[/quote']

No, it doesn't have to be paid back. Then it's like as if you took out a hardship loan and of course you will have to count it as income when tax time comes around. But you can also save all your reciepts and deduct it from your medical portion on you tax return. Instead of it being a loan. It becomes a hardship loan then.

[jhansen71 257]

Fortunately for me my DH was very supportive because he wanted me healthy and around long enough for our son to grow up. He never dreamed that there would be benefits for him.

Since losing 50+ lbs, my energy and activity level have skyrocketed. He's getting lucky way more often and we are actually social now and doing more as a couple. I didn't realize how my weight affected our marriage in such a negative way because I was so unhappy with me. Having this surgery has not only been the best thing I've done for my health, but also for my marriage. We

Celebrate 12 years this year and I feel like we are

in the honeymoon stage all over again. I still have

48 lbs to goal, but I'm living life again already and

life couldn't be better. Let him get on VST and look at all the stories. Go on to YouTube.com and look at all the before and afters. Maybe this will help him come around. Good luck!

[New Orleans Lady 12]

My husband was against me having the surgery as well. I felt that this was a life or death decision, and I needed to take action whether he wanted me to or not. It's expensive to get this surgery, but I was looking at what the expense would be if I didn't. Heart attack, stroke, etc.... is far more costly, and at 52 years old, and being well over 100 pounds overweight, I knew that is where I was headed. I got a credit card with zero interest for 18 mos and charged it. I did this with it in mind that once I was feeling better I would get extra work to pay it off within that time. I know I will be more productive financially once I am feeling better. The weight had me in jail, and I couldn't get out. Carrying around all of this extra weight at middle age is just too hard for most, and I could not function well doing it. I went against my husband's wishes, and did it anyway, and now he is okay with the idea and tells me how I am looking better and better each day. I'm so glad I did it, but I was over 50 BMI... I needed it desperately. Good luck in your decision making.