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I Want To Cry For Her

Sassygirl06

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Sassygirl06    962

Sassygirl06
Posted

I have been looking back at some old pictures of myself at the heaviest weight that I was....and I cant help but want to cry for that woman I see in the pictures. I remember how sad she was. She hated herself everytime she looked in the mirror. She felt judged everytime she ate in public, or did anything in public. She felt like she didnt belong in her own family because they were all thin, and she was so fat. She felt so desperatly trapped, and didnt know what to do to get out. I dont miss her, I just feel sad for her, and want to cry for her because it took so long to get out of her prison.

Now the person that I am is a free woman. No longer am I scared to eat in public, or be seen with my family. I love shopping, and dont feel like all the skinny women in stores are asking why I even bother shopping. I have energy, and sass. I want to do everything now....no more hiding! I am sexy, and my husband cant keep his hands off of me :P !!!!

For anyone who is unsure if they should take this drastic measure to get everything back, and stop being in your own prison......DO IT! My only regret is that I didnt free that woman sooner.

Thank God for the sleeve!

:)

LovingmeForever, BKMama, Iwant2Bthatgirl and 25 others reacted to this

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EmyWemy    32

EmyWemy
Posted

...love your post :)

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mylifeinpink    350

mylifeinpink
Posted

Yessss!

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LacieMC    136

LacieMC
Posted

That was beautiful and well written- i think you captured how each one of us feels about our old lives. Thank you!

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GivingItMyAll    168

GivingItMyAll
Posted

#joytears

What a beautiful expression...

Sent from my iPad using VST

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tjmom    200

tjmom
Posted

Sassygirl....i am only 7 weeks post-op so i am not anywhere near where you are now.....but.....you hit the nail on the head with the beginning of your writing....

You are writing about me...(i am sure a lot of us)... that person is still to close in my life for me to feel any different ....but.... I will!!!!

One day, i too, will feel the meaning of your post...

Thank you for putting into words how i feel at this time...

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SLIM12    19

SLIM12
Posted

Perfectly said. Prior to surgery I interviewed several people and asked them if they had any regrets. They all said just one WISH I HAD HAD THE SURGERY SOONER!

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sleevemeup    41

sleevemeup
Posted

well said. congrats!! Thank you for the inspiration!

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mommymar    34

mommymar
Posted

I am about 7 weeks out myself. I am just barely starting to feel and see some changes. Reading things like this keeps me motivated. Makes me realize that I am in the process of shedding this baggage. I am finding even now that I am trying new things, I am happier, I have more energy. I even looked on the mirror at myself "really looked" for the first time in YEARS. and you know what? I am not at worthless as I have convinced myself for so long that I was. The emotions that come with change can be overwhelming. I am so grateful to be able to experience these emotions.

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Gijane2012    9

Gijane2012
Posted

I am waiting insurance approval after failing with the lapband or as some posted on this site, the lapband failing me. I cannot wait to get to the other side of this....I am still that woman and I yearn to crossover to a new me. I lost weight before on my own and I remember experiencing those joyful things and not feeling like an outcast. I respect the plus sized women who have embraced themselves.....are fashionable...confident...it has never been me. This is about being comfortable in my skin and I am so far from that now.

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Sassygirl06    962

Sassygirl06
Posted

I am waiting insurance approval after failing with the lapband or as some posted on this site, the lapband failing me. I cannot wait to get to the other side of this....I am still that woman and I yearn to crossover to a new me. I lost weight before on my own and I remember experiencing those joyful things and not feeling like an outcast. I respect the plus sized women who have embraced themselves.....are fashionable...confident...it has never been me. This is about being comfortable in my skin and I am so far from that now.

I was so lucky that when I went in for the lap band seminar the doctor told me about the vsg....because before the seminar I was dead set on the lap band. I also respect those woman that are comfortable at whatever size they are. Unfortunatly I was not one of those woman. I really felt horrible about myself. I once went on a trip to mexico with my husband and he wanted to go horse back riding. I was so worried that the horse was going to collapse right under me, with all his legs going outward...it didnt, we took a picture together. when I got home I showed the picture to one of my co-workers...he started laughing, then he said, "oh my gosh it looks like the horses eyes are gonna pop out." He truely thought he was being funny. I went into the bathroom and cried for almost an hour. The way that man obviously felt about a woman who was overweight was how I felt everyone was really thinking about me all the time. There was never a time that I was not worried about someone judging me because of my weight. I am so thankful to not worry about it all the time anymore. I still have the fat womans brain, so every now and then I have those old feelings pop up out of no where, but then I realize that I am not morbidly obese anymore, and people dont see the old me anymore. I truely feel like I can do whatever I want now without people looking at me like I am out of place. It is truely freeing. Good luck to you on your journey! :)

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Sassygirl06    962

Sassygirl06
Posted

I am about 7 weeks out myself. I am just barely starting to feel and see some changes. Reading things like this keeps me motivated. Makes me realize that I am in the process of shedding this baggage. I am finding even now that I am trying new things, I am happier, I have more energy. I even looked on the mirror at myself "really looked" for the first time in YEARS. and you know what? I am not at worthless as I have convinced myself for so long that I was. The emotions that come with change can be overwhelming. I am so grateful to be able to experience these emotions.

congrats on getting sleeved...make sure to take lots of pictures along the way...it makes it easier for you to see the loss when you look back at them, it also gives you more inspiration. good luck through your journey! :)

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Sassygirl06    962

Sassygirl06
Posted

That Is so true

Yessss!

That was beautiful and well written- i think you captured how each one of us feels about our old lives. Thank you!

#joytears

What a beautiful expression...

Sent from my iPad using VST

Sassygirl....i am only 7 weeks post-op so i am not anywhere near where you are now.....but.....you hit the nail on the head with the beginning of your writing....

You are writing about me...(i am sure a lot of us)... that person is still to close in my life for me to feel any different ....but.... I will!!!!

One day, i too, will feel the meaning of your post...

Thank you for putting into words how i feel at this time...

Thank you for that post. Felt like i was reading about myself.

Perfectly said. Prior to surgery I interviewed several people and asked them if they had any regrets. They all said just one WISH I HAD HAD THE SURGERY SOONER!

well said. congrats!! Thank you for the inspiration!

So happy to be able to help those that are in the beginning of the journey, and to be able to connect with those who are coming to the end of theirs too. It is so much easier alnog the way when you have someone to share these emotions with . I smile a lot more these days! Hope you all are too! :D

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Go To Topic Listing POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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