Therapist NOT supportive of LB

[jgandg 0]

I've been seeing a therapist for the past year, discussing the reasons why I am overweight, among other things.

When I told him I was researching the LB, he thought it was an extreme method and not necessary. He thought I could lose through continued therapy and recommended a diet (the UltraMetabolism diet).

When I told him I made the decision to have LB surgery, he stopped trying to dissuade me, but he challenges me about it. I told him some of the tools my Dr's office gave me, behavioral tools, and his response was "well, you know this already. If you do this, you don't need surgery" which is true - for example, the tools, or strategies, are things like writing down what I eat, being aware of emotional triggers, reframing my feelings to more positive ones, etc.

I feel a bit angry toward him. I feel like this is a very personal decision, and his challenges and his even mild criticism is really not what I need. I wish I could go to his office and feel comfortable talking about the surgery. Because right now I feel like I don't want to share my concerns or nervousness, b/c he'll be like "told you so!"

I am so tired of people who are not MO telling me what will work and what I should do with MY body, MY life. For the main person who is dissuading me to be my therapist is just so hurtful.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I will bring this up when I see him tomorrow night. I just am really disappointed b/c otherwise things have been going well but this inability to support me is really getting in the way.

[Stitchy 0]

I may be way off base, here, but could there be an link between your taking charge of your life (i.e. banding) and your stopping therapy? Financial?

If there is one person that you should feel comfortable with it would be your therapist. Maybe you don't need him anymore? Or after a year, it's time for a change? You may feel you still need therapy, but you would certainly want somone who would support you.

Just my 2 cents.

[503-250 1]

I had a doctor tell me that the LB wouldn't help someone my size. I was stunned that any doctor would tell any MO not to try ANYTHING to try and improve the situation. I gave him two more times to come around, the third time I told him that he was unsupportive and irresponsible to tell a MO to not try something positive for his health. He told me that I wouldn't lose more then 100lbs. I told him to write that down and read it and ask me if it sounds responsible to tell an MO patient not to lose 100 lbs.

That same week I meet with two other doctors, I chose one as my new doctor. I went back to my old doctor and asked him to personally contact my new doctor and not only forward my files, but inform him I left him because he didn't support my attempt at weight loss with the LB. My new doctor found it odd and unprofessional of him.

Interesting side note, he moved about 3 months later.

[MsButterKup23 1]

Two questions...

How much is this therapist making?? I work in the medical field and we advise people all the time to lose weight. I even give "the speech" to those who are MO and need to consider other options than traditional diets (surgery).

Secondly, is he overweight?

Getting banded was one way I finally took charge of my life. I am no longer controlled by food or portions. I eat and go on.

Best of luck to you!

[Goannabanda 0]

My general doctor hasn't been as supportive as I would like, although he was the one that gave me the surgical referral I needed. He jsut says people complicate weight loss. I don't think he wants to get too involved. He wouldn't support my application to see the psychologist and dietician as part of my pre-op - he didn't think it necessary, even though the surgeon's office require it for all of their patients. I am going back to a doctor i used to see a few years back, whihc will involve more travel -but at least I know I'll have an understanding (and hopefully band-savvy) GP.

My advice is to move on - find a new counsellor if you feel you need one, or else take charge and move ahead solo (with LBT as back-up - we're always here for you!). You sound ready to move on from your current counsellor anyway - if it wasn't the band being an issue - it sounds like you may find within a few more months you'll be ready for a change anyway.

Good luck!

[3loves 0]

I definitely agree with the others, it's probably time to move on.

~Good Luck~

[gonnabethin 10]

RUN!!! your surgeon will have name of theraists that they work with- That may be a better avenue. In addition to at least one on staff

[Carlene 12]

He jsut says people complicate weight loss.quote]

YES! They DO! The Lap Band, however, UNcomplicates it! I don't have to count points, fat grams, carbs, or calories. I don't have to weigh or measure my food, read labels, or buy special freeze-dried styrofoam masquerading as food.

I still do not have power over food. I admit that. But my band does. My band does not allow me to over-eat, so I don't have to struggle with the option of second helpings.

The band makes eating almost anti-climatic. I know that I'm going to eat a few bites and quit, so why stress over a meal?

[slctx 0]

I ,too, have had my GP be very unsupportive about WLS. About 10 -12 years ago I asked him for a referral to a surgeon. His comment to me was "If you do something that radical, I will no longer treat you." Since I have always had a fear of sx. and really trusted this doc, (he saved the life of my dtr. by referring me to a major medical center when I was in labor and having my dtr. 11 weeks preemie.), I did not want to lose him as my doc so I let it go and did not follow through with it. That was 150 pounds ago.:rolleyes But after I heard about lapband, I became very interested again. Being a nurse, I now know all the right things to ask and feel that I am more mature and can make a decision without his referral, however, at my last visit, I did ask him his opinion of lapband(prior considerations were RNY and VGB) this time his comment was " I am not familiar enough with the docs doing this so just research thourally" He also was somewhat unfamiliar with lapband, but asked me to share my information with him.He was much more supportive this time and explained that his prior hesitancy was due to a friends dtr almost bleeding to death after her staples ruptured. I would ask your therapist about why he is so against it. It could be that he is aware of someone with a bad experience or could be lack of education about WLS. If he can't give you a reason or is unwilling to learn about procedure then I would look for someone who is.

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for listening to me harp and gripe.:faint:

Have a great evening!

Sherri:)

[vinesqueen 2]

I was kinda thrown by the If you do this, you don't need surgery" thing too. Did he mean that if you do his special diet you won't need surgery, or if you have surgery you won't need surgery???

[Jachut 487]

Honestly, people who are not MO or close to it just have no freaking idea what it is like.

I dont know why the band helps so much. I told myself a thousand times that if I just followed the principles I wouldnt need the band. I need it.

And something that was once a huge problem in my life has ceased to be a problem. I dont thing there always has to be a cause that you have to get to the root of through therapy, I just plain liked eating, so I did a bit too much of it. I like spending money too but there's more of a hard stop on that, in the form of Mr Accountant Husband.

I could have spent my life in therapy and I doubt I EVER would have solved my weight problem. Half an hour under anaesthetic and its pretty much beat. Easy choice if you ask me, and I'd have a go at any medical professional who failed to be supportive of MY decision.

[jgandg 0]

Thanks everyone. I think when he said "if you do this, you won't need surgery" he meant that if I follow the weight-loss strategies given to me by the psychologist at my surgeon's office, that I wouldn't need surgery in the first place. He really feels I can do this (lose weight) without the band.

I feel like I am being patronized. How can he know what I can and cannot do? It's like Jack said, I am in dire need of help, I know another diet isn't going to be a long-term solution.

It's sad to me, the thought of leaving this therapist, b/c I feel like I've come so far in the past year. I guess I should attribute that more to me than to him, but I'm nervous about leaving something that's been otherwise successful. We meet tonight, and I am going to tell him how I am feeling. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to talk about LB with him b/c I know he's not supportive - exactly the person whom I should feel most comfortable talking to, and I don't.

Some asked about $$ - I don't know his per hour fee, I pay a small co-pay.

Thank you so much to everyone who posted here. I am so thankful I found this board.

[Banded14yr 2]

If you have WL surgery, he might feel like he's failed as a therapist. It sounds like he thinks he can get you to lose weight by giving you advice, you taking it, following it....case close.

I would definately find a therapist that is supportive in your decision to have WLS. I just don't see how this therapist can be beneficial to you.

[Fauxnaif 1]

My therapist whom I have seen on and off since about 1996 is not crazy about weight loss surgery either. But she has never tried to dissuade me or question me about it in a negative way.

A therapist DOES NOT and should not attempt to control or run the client's life.

Your making a decision that he doesn't agree with is actually a good thing, evidence you are thinking for yourself and not trying to over-please others.

This might be a deal-breaker for me as a client because I know food issues and body issues will come up in therapy.

[dotofoz 0]

Well, in my situation, my shrink said how great I'd do at WLS, then the MMPI administering psychologist said I was "go", but needed my meds monitored b4, during & after surgery, the shrink sent a 2 line letter stating that I shouldn't have surgery (no reason given) and she doesn't see bariatric patients! That looks REAL GOOD for the insurance, huh? Needless to say I'm seeing another shrink 9/11, but she has delayed my progress over 2 months! Also this shrink is about my height and probably weighs all of 100 pounds, soaking wet! Like she knows what it's like! PLease! I'd outright ask your Dr. if he/she has ever been overweight to the capacity you are? Like I tell people, you have NO idea what it's like 'til you've been there!