Is It Ok To Say I Am Really Scared?--Rambling

[Texarkolina 201]

I am scheduled for July 23...and I am really scared. My best friend lives close to me and was going to take care of my 2 year old while I was in the hospital and during my recovery period if I needed help.....BUT,she just found out today that her hysterectomy is scheduled for July 26. I can't move my surgery, and I don't have any family that can step in. My little one is still in a crib, and doesn't always sleep through the night. I don't know what I am going to do if everything goes right, much less if I have complications. I feel so ill-prepared for this surgery. I have just changed jobs and things are so chaotic for me right now. I read posts where people are sampling Protein powders and stocking up on multi-vitamins and such. I haven't even thought about that stuff. I know deep down that this is going to be much harder because I have not had time to really focus and plan out the details. Part of me says to move the surgery date so that my friend will be available to help me, but I really can't because of insurance stuff. AND if I were really really really honest with myself, I would admit that the reason I am sitting here bawling as I type this is because I am pissed off and hurt that my friend would schedule her surgery so close to mine. I have made some heroic efforts to be there for her when she was sick in the past, and I expected her to be there for me. She has a husband, a grown son, a 16 year old daughter, and an 8 year old who could help her if she needs it, but I am a single mom with a toddler. She even commented to me that she was going to have her husband take off work "in case" I couldn't be at the hospital with her. REALLY? Part of this is my fault because I joked with her that we should just schedule these on the same day and lay around and watch movies for 2 weeks. I probably gave her the impression that this would be easier than I imagine it will be.

[Diane 24]

What about her 16yr old daughter? Couldn't she possibly stay at ur house while you are in the hospital and take care of your toddler. Maybe she could stay with you after surgery to help you with your daughter, after all she is defintely old enough to babysit right?

could this be a solution to ur problem. I sure hope this helps!!

[bigkim 109]

I am in Irving Texas if I can help any.

[Texarkolina 201]

What about her 16yr old daughter? Couldn't she possibly stay at ur house while you are in the hospital and take care of your toddler. Maybe she could stay with you after surgery to help you with your daughter, after all she is defintely old enough to babysit right?

could this be a solution to ur problem. I sure hope this helps!!

Yes, the 16-year old can and has babysat for me in the past. She will help,but her priority will be helping her mom. I know I am being a baby about this, but dang it, I am scared and I don't think I can deal with the added stress of her having surgery, too. It is just another huge distraction/stressor and I was already at capacity. Sorry--just scared and venting.

[SouthernSleever 228]

It is OKAY to be scared, I was. I had a 2 year old at the time and bought all the supplements, had my mom help out all this stuff. You know what? When I got home I was absolutely fine to take care of myself and my kids and I still have a pantry full of shakes/supplements. This is the easiest surgery I've had out of 2 ankle surgeries, a c-section, and lots of oral surgeries. You will be fine. Breathe, YOU WILL BE FINE!! BTW I had no problem taking care of my 2 year old, including picking him up if he got a booboo.

[COnative 192]

Only you know what's in your heart as far as if you should do this now but after reading so little about you it sounds like you will always have a lot going on in your life. Just do it! My surgery isn't until September- I am already a little nervous. But focus on the new life you are going to have! I am so happy to know this is the last summer I am going to spend really heavy. This will be your moment. There are sooo many of us here to support you no matter what. Sounds like your best friend has a busy life too- don't we all right? She will be there, you'll see. You can do this- you are making the step to a healthier life for yourself and that in itself can only help your family and every one who is around you. Hang in there.

[Texarkolina 201]

It is OKAY to be scared, I was. I had a 2 year old at the time and bought all the supplements, had my mom help out all this stuff. You know what? When I got home I was absolutely fine to take care of myself and my kids and I still have a pantry full of shakes/supplements. This is the easiest surgery I've had out of 2 ankle surgeries, a c-section, and lots of oral surgeries. You will be fine. Breathe, YOU WILL BE FINE!! BTW I had no problem taking care of my 2 year old, including picking him up if he got a booboo.

Thank you so much for that. I really needed to hear that.

[5DoxieMom 87]

I wish you were closer to me, I would help you.

[lsereno 2,525]

I think you will be fine, but do plan on some emergency things you might need:

What if you have to stay in hospital more than one day? Be sure babysitter can cover. May have to research getting someone from a service.

Can you hire someone to come in and help for an hour or so each day for the first few days? If you feel really crappy that might help.

And spending time getting ready will make you feel more comfortable:

• If you don't already have the babysitter book with Dr. info and emergency info, now is a good time to get that ready. Look at getting some movies/ books/ toys for you and the two year old to enjoy together while you recuperate.
  
• Buy yourself a pretty gown, slippers, lip gloss, and lotion for the hospital and home the first couple of day.
  
• Stock up on TP, cleaning supplies etc. so you have less you need to buy right after surgery.
  
• Buy the supplements. They are important. You have to take care of yourself.
  
• I wasn't supposed to drive right away. Have a plan for how to get around if you need to.
  

Best wishes,

Lynda

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

It's really hard to be dependent on others. It friend doesn't feel great about letting u down but is also s ares for herself right now. She might not be emotionally available and would ne a disservice to I and ur toddler. I would talk with her daughter about helping u after the surgery. Maybe pay her for helping. This is just a bump in the road and u will make it.