Nervous... Counting Down The Days

em1125 · August 28, 2006

Okay, after all the insurance appeals and all of the hype about looking so forward to having the procedure, it's finally going to happen a week from this Tuesday and I'm a nervous wreck.

I need help. :help: I have been having so much anxiety for the last few days. It started on Friday after I completed my pre-op. I haven't been sleeping at night and I'm not concentrating on daily activities. One part of me is very excited and the other part of me is very very nervous about the surgery. I'm having these terrible thoughts that I'm not going to wake up after the surgery or that something terrible is going to happen during the procedure. I have been extremely irritable and short fused. I'm also having terrible nightmares. I can almost feel myself going under anethesia in my sleep. In my dreams, I am telling the anethesiolgist to WAIT and then all of a sudden I feel myself going under. Very weird. And yes, I am a control freak.

I'm constantly asking myself "What if" all the time. I don't think this is normal behavior. I have had other surgeries and I don't ever remember feeling this way. As I'm writing this, my palms are sweating and I'm getting short of breath. What if I get this done and I don't lose any weight. What if I don't wake up. What if something terrible goes wrong. What if my kids are without their mom. What if I PB all the time and can't have a "normal" life of eating? What if I don't know what to eat? It's really bad. Please help. I need some encouragement.

Desperately awaiting your replies. Thanks.

Regards,

bibytz · August 28, 2006

Hi Emily,

I am also counting the days. I am scheduled for Sept. 7.

I also have some weird thoughts (about not waking up after the surgery and similar worries) that pop-up in my mind but I quickly discard them. I am also more nervous than usual but I think that this is normal because I did not have many surgeries and I have no tolerance for pain. I am reminding myself why I am going tru the band and it is helping me relax a bit. I am preparing for the post-up period (cooking for family, planning as much to make it easier to take it easy...). I scheduled an entire "grooming" session (hair color, waxing, facial, manicure/pedicure, etc.) as a gift to myself to help me feel"pretty and prepared". Basically I am trying to focus on the excitement of it all because right at this moment I do not have reasons to stress except if I choose to... As for complications or others, being a person that needs to be in control, I choose to handle those if/when they occur and it helps me relax.

So I guess my mantra is "RELAX". I have been so busy lately going tru all the clearances and prep for this surgery lately that I will try to RELAX, RELAX, RELAX between now and then. And it helps so far...

Good luck to us, we will be fine!!!

Ciao... for now.