Frustrated With My Spouse

[karenb4729 309]

I love my husband, he has been by me through thick and thin... well maybe more thick than thin. Anyway he has been great through all of this but I am really really frustrated because his cooking is just killing me. I'm 1 week post op and of course on full liquids but here I sit on the couch while he is cooking away for his dinner. It smells so wonderful and my husband is a vocal cook-all I hear is yum, that tastes good, etc. I hate to nag him about keeping it to himself because he has been such a great support but its driving me crazy.

[Lehg520 12]

Oh no! That has to be absolutely the worst. I can't say I feel you're pain, because I haven't had my surgery yet and my husband burns Water. I will have the fun time of having to cook for him and our daughter while on my pre & post op diets. Ugh! I'd say just a gentle reminder that you're thankful for his support and you're glad he's enjoying cooking but it's killing you. He might not even realize he's doing it. Especially if it's a habit of his. I know I tend to talk to myself when cooking and I don't even realize it until my husband comes in asking me what I was saying. Good luck and stay strong!

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Rejoice in the fact that he is cooking for himself. Can you imagine how tempting it would be if you were doing his cooking?

Be strong. This too will pass

[LadyIvy 159]

I went for a walk every day when my husband was cooking. I am usually the one to cook, but he handled it for a while pre and post op. Post op, I didn't care as much though. When I did, I just took some time to get the evening air (I didn't want to walk too far alone until about 2 weeks out)

[gramaof4 58]

I returned home from surgery in Mexico to a house smelling of brownies, Cookies, and cake....they were all sure to tell me they knew I was unable to eat this type of stuff and how yummy it was....the next day I came home after a full day of work and my husband had made a blackberry pie, a rhubarb-strawberry pie, and a huckleberry apple pie...and he had purchased 2 yes 2 dozen donuts at the local bakery and purchased a box of honey Buns and a box of ding dongs and a six pack of cracker jacks to fill my fruit bowl up...... NOW THAT IS FRUSTRATING!

I said nothing, It hurt my feelings and made me sad....so I went for a walk though it was slow going at that rate...but walked some of my frustration off....within the next 2 weeks I did not indulge myself in his temptations....so he then the 3rd week went and bought a bunch more crap from the store...but he musta got tired of baking (LOL) I do believe he was intentionally trying to sabatage me....(but itdid NOT work)...I have lost #86 lbs since surgery and feel freaking amazing....

Just ignore and if you must take this time to take a walk. The other thing is there is a little air purifier you can get that during the cooking or baking time turn it on and it disapates the smell....lol takes and neutralizes the smell for everyone....

Good Luck!

[uwishtoo 15]

lol My best friend was whining the other nite that he won't be able to cook for me soon (we usually have dinner and a movie nite once a week) and I told him he could always cook Jello. Then I thought about it and said oh no wait, never mind. (Because he actually screwed up Jello a few weeks ago) lol I have been clearing my cupboards out and eating what I have in there which is alot and haven't bought any things to fill up my freezer either so.... it's just me. But I know the late nite Mac attacks and Taco Bell runs will kill me

[sazzygirl 33]

We have to remember this weight loss surgery

Is what we wanted and can not expect everyone to suffer along with us. My husband has been miserable and said he can't enjoy eatting with out me . Not to say he hasn't eaten chocolate cake but will not eat Pasta I front of me .

[lml32937 65]

I doubt he is doing it intentionally for sure. But if he is that good of a cook and you feel left out perhaps he could cook somthing that could be easily blended/pureed for you to eat that wouldnt be too much trouble... I know it sounds gross but I got real creative when I had the puree/mushie phase and blended tacos spaghetti etc.. granted I was only able to eat a few teaspoons but it not only killed the cravings it incuded me in others activities.. But you also have to remember that this is a different life for you at the same time and you are going to have tougher choices the further out you are-

My husband is very respectful and we joked about what I could/couldnt have etc.. now it doesnt bother me and I dont get offended.

[gaye jarvis 751]

I'm so sorry that you are not getting all of the support that you deserve, especially when you are doing something so great for yourself and making sure that you are around for your family for a long time. I wish everyone had a great husband like mine, I have been on the pre-op liquid since June 1st and have not cooked one meal! He won't even eat in the house because he's afraid that I will smell it! All I can say is Thank God!

[uwishtoo 15]

I'm so sorry that you are not getting all of the support that you deserve, especially when you are doing something so great for yourself and making sure that you are around for your family for a long time. I wish everyone had a great husband like mine, I have been on the pre-op liquid since June 1st and have not cooked one meal! He won't even eat in the house because he's afraid that I will smell it! All I can say is Thank God!

And people wonder why I am still single? lol

Seriously I like knowing that someone else mushes up spaghetti and tacos - I was wondering about that. I am just having a hard time really imagining only being able to eat a few tablespoons. I stocked up on all my Vitamins and kind of wonder if those are going to go down easy too? I got two of them sublingual (sp?) then someone told me to buy a prenatal one plus I also made darn sure I got one for nails and hair. I have inch long natural nails and I don't care if I lose some hair but my nails better not go anywhere. People can pick me out from pictures just if my nails are in them. (Seriously I was on TV once in Phoenix arguing with an Illegal Immigrant activist and she asked me for MY papers so I whipped out my social security card and that's all one station tuned in on - my nails - and a few friends saw it and said that's SUE) lol Getting antsy now - 2 weeks and counting.

[karenb4729 309]

So that people don't get the wrong idea... my husband fully supports me in my efforts and has been a rock beside me through it all!!! He was asking me about if I would be able to eat his cooking next week-he will happily puree for me. Tonight was hard because he was making shish kebob that had been marinating since the weekend. Oh it smells so good.

[girlfriday 59]

I returned home from surgery in Mexico to a house smelling of brownies' date=' Cookies, and cake....they were all sure to tell me they knew I was unable to eat this type of stuff and how yummy it was....the next day I came home after a full day of work and my husband had made a blackberry pie, a rhubarb-strawberry pie, and a huckleberry apple pie...and he had purchased 2 yes 2 dozen donuts at the local bakery and purchased a box of honey Buns and a box of ding dongs and a six pack of cracker jacks to fill my fruit bowl up...... NOW THAT IS FRUSTRATING!

I said nothing, It hurt my feelings and made me sad....so I went for a walk though it was slow going at that rate...but walked some of my frustration off....within the next 2 weeks I did not indulge myself in his temptations....so he then the 3rd week went and bought a bunch more crap from the store...but he musta got tired of baking (LOL) I do believe he was intentionally trying to sabatage me....(but itdid NOT work)...I have lost #86 lbs since surgery and feel freaking amazing....

Just ignore and if you must take this time to take a walk. The other thing is there is a little air purifier you can get that during the cooking or baking time turn it on and it disapates the smell....lol takes and neutralizes the smell for everyone....

Good Luck![/quote']

Oh my heavens. that is absolutely awful. so glad you stayed strong. I am afraid I may be facing the same situation after I am post op.

Sent from my iPad using VST

[mkamai 26]

I returned home from surgery in Mexico to a house smelling of brownies' date=' Cookies, and cake....they were all sure to tell me they knew I was unable to eat this type of stuff and how yummy it was....the next day I came home after a full day of work and my husband had made a blackberry pie, a rhubarb-strawberry pie, and a huckleberry apple pie...and he had purchased 2 yes 2 dozen donuts at the local bakery and purchased a box of honey Buns and a box of ding dongs and a six pack of cracker jacks to fill my fruit bowl up...... NOW THAT IS FRUSTRATING!

I said nothing, It hurt my feelings and made me sad....so I went for a walk though it was slow going at that rate...but walked some of my frustration off....within the next 2 weeks I did not indulge myself in his temptations....so he then the 3rd week went and bought a bunch more crap from the store...but he musta got tired of baking (LOL) I do believe he was intentionally trying to sabatage me....(but itdid NOT work)...I have lost #86 lbs since surgery and feel freaking amazing....

Just ignore and if you must take this time to take a walk. The other thing is there is a little air purifier you can get that during the cooking or baking time turn it on and it disapates the smell....lol takes and neutralizes the smell for everyone....

Good Luck![/quote']

That's just wrong!

Luckily my wife hasn't done this to me. She does buy Snacks and sweets for her and the kids but they are things I was never a fan of so I don't care

Smack that man of yours upside his head!

[mommymar 34]

I had more of an issue in pre OP because I actually wanted to eat then. But that second post op week, when even Mac and cheese smelled good, THAT is when I would choose to take my shower. Not being able to hear it being made helped, and I could still smell it but your other senses are engaged and so it helped to get through stuff like that. The only thing you can do is learn how to make it easier on yourself if it happens again. Good luck. (also, talk to him about it some time when its not time to eat)

[lunabella007 37]

Gosh, this makes me feel lucky that my husband is "dieting" along with me. If I make a shake, he has some too. If I heat up some Soup, I hand him a mug. I just put Protein in everything that's mine and pretty much leave it out of his (because its so expensive and he doesn't like the taste.)

I made him dinner tonight because he had a long day, running around town, taking his elderly mother to doctors appointments. I made him a salad and some fish and chips--the salad had me drooling and I REALLY wish I could have had a taste!

I can't wait until I can have salads again