mommymar 34 Posted June 11, 2012 I have read a number of threads about who people tell or not want to tell about your surgery. I personally told my family and good friends. But I am determined to keep it a secret from my in-laws. My reason? Because I have never been "good enough" I have never got support from them nor have they ever wanted me to succeed (it feels like anyway) at any diet I have ever done. This time, I am going to be healthy, do it the right way and have long term success. The best way I can "show them" Do you not tell out of embarrassment? Because it is no ones business? Afraid of judgment? Or some other reason? And are you looking forward to the day when you can shock those people? I know I am!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kimmy*custis 276 Posted June 11, 2012 I personally told everyone that would listen to me...lol! I dont care what anyone thinks of my decision, I know that I am making the right choice for me. It is fun to see people that havent seen me in a while that are shocked how different I look, you will love that part! Best of luck to you! 1 Butterthebean reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Butterthebean 8,146 Posted June 11, 2012 I can't wait to hear the answers to this because I can't understand why anyone would go out of their way to keep this surgery a secret. I can understand why some people don't raise their banner and announce it to the world, but to actively hide it baffles me. I think of it this way, even if everyone I know is against it, a year from now when I'm lean and mean no one will have a thing to say about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jhansen71 257 Posted June 11, 2012 I tell everyone if they ask. I find that it has helped me tremendously in many situations. For example, we stayed at a beach house this weekend and I was asked 6 different times what I wanted to drink with my meals. The people I was with kept forgetting that I can't eat and drink together. One of them even laughed and said "I forget all the rules". I was also offered vodka and tonic, but my friend soon remembered that tonic had carbonation and she offered me something else. I don't have to lie or make up stories, I can just be me with all my new little eating quirks and I find people are more than supportive and proud of me in my Quest to a healthier life. I had lap band prior and had to lie to people about why I was choking on food or throwing up. I hated it and decided to be honest this time around. To each their own, but I'm so much happier with my decision to share. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mkamai 26 Posted June 11, 2012 I too told anyone who showed any interest. It is amazing the support you can get from co workers and such. Even had a friend from a different department at work call and check on me postop. Couple of people think I took the easy route but they don't understand the procedures and what's involved anyway. Nothing easy about any of this as you guys all know Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lunabella007 37 Posted June 11, 2012 I'm keeping it a secret from my mother for now. She's got too much nerve-wracking stuff going on in her life right now with her parents being very sick, and she's under a lot of stress. She just had a stroke two months ago at the age of 51! She's a worrier, and I don't want her to worry about me, so I'll wait to tell her until I've lost weight and I'm clearly fine. I told my brother, because he's trustworthy and won't let mom know. Everyone else can wait to see for themselves. I just don't think it's that big of a deal whether I lose weight using a mechanical alteration (surgery) or a behavioral alteration (low cal diet and lots of exercise). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deltadawn817 106 Posted June 12, 2012 there were only a few people that I wanted to keep it a from and was my BIL and his wife she works at blue cross blue shield so she knows how often the surgery is covered also I was a self pay and they are always in our fiances business or try to be since I am a stay at home mom and they both work and spend all their money on CRAP. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missmeow 156 Posted June 12, 2012 It's none of their business really. Unfortunately, our bodies are on display and kind of like being pregnant, eventually everyone catches on. But also like being pregnant, some people like to hold off a bit to avoid all the "helpful" commentary from the "experts" in the peanut gallery. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mommymar 34 Posted June 12, 2012 I find it so fascinating how different people feel about it. I worried about telling my Mom because she had so much to worry about. My little brother is actually the reason I decided on surgery. He is 28 and 1 1/2 years ago he was diagnosed with an aggressive form of MS. Since then he went from an active guy to a vegetable. He was a scuba diver, marathoner and sportsman. Now he can't feed himself and had only been given another year or so to live. I started realizing I was taking my body for granted. I feel like this decision was for both me and Paul (my bro) what I thought would give my Mom worry, actually gave her peace. (in no way does that make me think it's what everyone should do). I am happy to have the support of those I told. And I am fine keeping it from the others :-) 1 gloria63 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juny 93 Posted June 12, 2012 I told my mom, 2 best friends, and my god mother. I'm trying to keep it that way. I'm not telling my dad because he can't be trusted to keep his mouth shut. I'm staying w/ my parents right now and that's going to make things tricky but the alternative is worse. I'm also determined not to tell people at work. Still trying to figure out what to tell them when I take off 2 weeks at once. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites