My Sleeve Story 1-9-12

[staple me thin 1]

Hello everyone, My name is Shari Ratkovich. I live in Napa California. I started my sleeve journey on July 19, 2011. My first weigh in was 226. I went to South San Francisco, Ca. Kaiser hospital. I had my surgery on January 9th 2012. I was in the hospital from Monday morning to Thursday at around 12:00. I am now 5 months out. My entire life has changed. But not for the better yet. I am waiting for that day to come. I need support. I still do not feel well. I have not been a bit excited or happy with my weight loss. I just don't care yet. I started surgery day at 211 and I am now at 167. I was a size 18W and I am now a 12. I have been overweight my entire life. Well almost my entire life. There have been periods where I have lost weight only to gain it all back and more. I just wonder if anyone out there is going through the same things I am? I am sad when I am hungry and want something and can only eat 3 or 4 bite before the tightness happens in my chest and I know it is time to quit. Well most of the last 5 months i have not quit in time, that is getting better. I am either empty and weak or full and uncomfortable. I am in a support group and have been through out my journey. Helps some but everyone else seems to be doing better with the greiving the food. I still say to myself, did I really do this. I am not happy that I did.

I want to be happy about this. I know I was not prepared for this, I did not feel desparate enough I guess. I did not have to many health issues, just high blood pressure and high chloestrol. Pre diabities numbers. I did not have reasons other than being vain and wanting to feel better and be healthier. Is there anyone out there who can relate to my story, please talk to me. I am a newbie and I want to be glad i did this. I have heard sometimes it takes 6 months to a year and if I know that for sure I can hang, but I am just so tired of feeling bad, and being sad I can not eat anymore. Scarey to me to have these thoughts when most of the time I am not hungry I just miss eating so much. Help, thank you all. God Bless you.

[BJMTEACH 2]

I am truthfully the same way. I feel so sad that I can't eat and now I am getting a little depressed because I can't loose the weight anymore I am stuck. If you find something that's helps let me know too

[BJMTEACH 2]

Just an FYI mine was July 13, 2011

Heaviest 273

To date 186

[Gastricsleeve4me 186]

Hi ladies! Have you thought about therapy at all? It's totally not for everyone. I've used it in the past when life's kicked my ass, and with surgery I went back in anticipating some food grieving. For me, I recognize food's importance in my life and the hold it has one me (e.g., its ability to comfort me)...for me, I equally recognize that's unhealthy. I had a bit of a rough childhood with a mom who struggles with mental illness, and I can recall being like 11 and using food to cope with the stress of it. Fast forward to today and food still can play that unhealthy role in my life. Therapy is a way for me to explore that, and try to let some of it go...and find other, healthier, ways to cope. None of this may apply to you at all, but may be worth asking why food is so important to you, and why you might be using it for things beyond nutrition, and a therpist could help explore that. If that all sounds like rubbish, feel free to ignore! Just my personal story

[CCWriter 19]

I've been having some issues with my sleeve playing bad head games on me. The psychologist at my surgeon's office suggested that I don't go off my daily 30 mg dose of Cymbalta and I'm glad I didn't. I've been stalled for about six weeks now, going back and forth from 207 to 210. The stall is getting SO DISCOURAGING. My highest weight was 273 and I'm feeling a lot better, but I'm still so far away from my goal of 135-140 pounds. I'm about five-and-a-half months out.

The NSVs are definitely a tradeoff with the negatives.

NSVs (Non-Sleeve Victories) include going off one of two blood pressure meds, going off an anti-inflammatory med, knees and feet feel a lot better. I'm about out of another pair of too-big jeans. My stress incontinence is about over, and my cheekbones are starting to emerge. My husband says my sleep apnea is waning and I'm not snoring nearly so much if I nap or fall asleep without my CPAP.

On the negative side, I am definitely grieving food, although I believe you can still eat beautiful, fabulous food prepared well -- just not as much of it and definitely not some things. My face looks like a red-dotted road map with zits and I've been having hair loss, although I think I may be turning the corner on that. The nausea that hits if I eat too quickly is a little disconcerting, but I'm dealing with it.

But all in all, I'm glad I did it. I feel much better and have lots more energy.

Onward,

Carol

[staple me thin 1]

I am going to get some theropy soon. I have someone I have to call. I do have growing up issues as well. My father molested me. I hated him and now that he is gone I am not sad in the least. I think that I was so used to something being wrong that now that the one thing that I felt was wrong is not. my weight. I have been through alot of theropy throughout the years but it has been a while. Anyway, lots of issues for sure. I thank you for sharing with me. I just wonder if this will pass? If people get to the point where it is ok and they can let the importance of food go. Hugs, Shari

[favoredone 590]

CC, I had to see a derm about my face.. she gave me some cleansing cloths, locoid cream and ziana for my breakouts.... my face is so much better now....

Ladies, congrats on your journey thus far... and it is definitely a journey... do whatever is necessary to enjoy, embrace and successfully navigate it.... I was seeing my therapist regularly, before I went back to work and she def helped me pinpoint some root causes of my depression and anxiety about my sleeve...

I love Sleevina, but I can be a control freak and she won't let me do (eat) certain things...

I just want to encourage you all to keep taking it one day at a time and celebrating each victory as they come!!

[CCWriter 19]

CC, I had to see a derm about my face.. she gave me some cleansing cloths, locoid cream and ziana for my breakouts.... my face is so much better now....

Ladies, congrats on your journey thus far... and it is definitely a journey... do whatever is necessary to enjoy, embrace and successfully navigate it.... I was seeing my therapist regularly, before I went back to work and she def helped me pinpoint some root causes of my depression and anxiety about my sleeve...

I love Sleevina, but I can be a control freak and she won't let me do (eat) certain things...

I just want to encourage you all to keep taking it one day at a time and celebrating each victory as they come!!

I appreciate the thoughtful input and maybe I should relent and see a derm myself. I guess I'm just afraid of being given the same bunch of antibiotics that gave me a raging yeast infection last time I tried that for rosacea.

I know we'll work all this stuff through and come out on the other side!!

Carol

[Gastricsleeve4me 186]

I am going to get some theropy soon. I have someone I have to call. I do have growing up issues as well. My father molested me. I hated him and now that he is gone I am not sad in the least. I think that I was so used to something being wrong that now that the one thing that I felt was wrong is not. my weight. I have been through alot of theropy throughout the years but it has been a while. Anyway' date=' lots of issues for sure. I thank you for sharing with me. I just wonder if this will pass? If people get to the point where it is ok and they can let the importance of food go. Hugs, Shari[/quote']

Sorry to hear that...you've been through a lot. and sounds like you know perhaps where some of the food stuff comes from. Does is pass? Gosh, I'm not sure that it ever passes. For me, it's more about better integrating life trauma into who I am, but knowing that it doesn't get to define me. For me it doesn't go away, but it's more about knowing how it affects the way I see and interact with the world (including food), but that I get to control who I am, what I decide, and how I choose to live. It's my hope that with all the work I've done around the emotional stuff, that it's more about breaking the "habit" of using food since I have established more healthy ways to deal with my emotions for years. But I'm not so naive as to believe the surgery will magically break 20 yr old habits that served me so well as a coping skill as a kiddo. Hence the therapist I certainly don't have the answers, but have learned that I'm always better off when I've got help! Shari, I wish you the absolute best in your journey. You're not alone.

[fitforlife 18]

I share your feelings and definetly grieve food and my old eating habits. I've notice with time that I can eat more and the carbs are now sliding, which also means my loss has slowed. We have similar stats.

you will hopefully start to feel better soon, I think therapy is a great way to help you through this, but I also think that alot of what you are feeling is common, I share much of it.

[Sharon's last chance 88]

I was sleeved on May 17, 2012. I have had complications that resulted in an 8 night hospital stay rather than the planned 2 nigbt stay. I am still having problems getting down full liquids and Water, as it backs up at a narrow place in my sleeve and sometimes takes hour(s) to move through. I've been back at the hospital 3 times for IV fluids due to dehydration, and have had 2 endoscopys to stretch a narrow area of my sleeve. I have been told I will probably need at least 2 more endoscopys for the same purpose. I am unable to advance my diet beyond full liquids. I lost 62 pounds in prep for surgery and have lost 28 pounds since surgery. I have had times when I worried that this was a big mistake, but in the end I'm still glad I did this. I only wish I had dealt with my weight before I ruined my health with multiple co- mobidities. I also highly recommend therapy /counseling. I worked with a therapist for a year before I was ready for surgery. So hang on ladies and have faith that it gets better and that this decision will be the best thing you ever did. When I get down I come to this site and read about everyones success and their advice that it will get better in time.

[Christle29 4]

Did the dr have u see a therapist before u got the surgery?

[Sharon's last chance 88]

My bariatric surgery program required at least two visits with a therapist to complete a psyche evaluation. It was my choice to continue the sessions. With a few exceptions I have seen her weekly since April 2011. She has helped me deal with so many issues, including my addiction to food, low self esteem, etc.

I will continue to see her post surgery.

I doubt I would be successcul without this counselling. Hope that helps.