female only First Time Sex And Loose Skin

[bonbon85 8]

So I am almost 2 years post op, still has 80 lbs to go. I started dating this guy and have been taking to him for over a month prior. He knows that I have lost 200 lbs and I told him that I have loose skin. But I think that talking about loose skin and seeing it are 2 different things, I wear one of those kymora body shapers all the time and he knows about that too. I have always been self conscience anyway and he wants me to wear a nighty. I honestly don't know what to think, I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone to take a risk but am I just worrying about nothing?

[Marty McSkinnystein 342]

You are probably feeling much sexier from having the surgery and you need to hold onto that. This man is interested. Stay focused on the sexy feelings you get when you're with him and try to push the self-consciousness away. Sexy is all in the mind. I've always maintained a sexy attitude even at my heaviest. I'm much more self-conscious at this high weight but when my husband says I'm beautiful- I believe he definitely sees that- even when I don't. So- if he's worth it- your skin won't matter- what's inside it does. You really have to risk it for love. :wub: Good luck!

In related and funny matters, read the thread that starts "This may be inappropriate but.." in post op. (warning: it's explicit)

[Failure 32]

Sometimes what can be a turn on for a man that would otherwise perhaps be a turn off is the fact that the woman is doin' her thing and she doesn't "show" that she needs the approval. Go in there, even if you're scared, and do your thing. Be you and be all of you and see what happens. I bet that he won't mind because he obviously likes you for you, not because of your weight. It's sexy to anybody really when someone is just being themselves and doing something sexy!

[gmanbat 5,889]

I have found that affection makes one quite adaptable to the bodily characteristics of the one loved, even if those characteristics are outside of societal norms. I am going to get a bit graphic here: the loose skin could actually be worked into the general erotic scene, even an asset. Guys with some semblance of emotional maturity and intellect can make this adjustment with ease.

Not wanting do bestow upon you TMI but my wife has lost nearly 90 pounds since her Roux N Y. The following guys convey my feelings about it:

[CanadianDot 11]

No advice (other than: If he's worth your time, he won't mind), but... Wow.

You're so far along on the same journey I'm hoping to go on, and that'll be about how much weight I'll need to lose, and it's SO inspirational to know that it can happen.

:wub:

[BKMama 179]

I agree with everyone else. If you really think you need to further warn him, maybe show him a couple YouTube videos where people show their loose skin. I do that the my husband now even though I'm still pre-op. :-)

[kyllfalcon 768]

Look, they have wonderful online stores for plus-size and regular-size lingerie, some of it stretchy and flowy stuff that will enhance your appearance and accentuate your assets. Plus it's just a helluva lotta fun to get all gussied up and ... well, you know... and that lingerie doesn't all have to come off when... well, you know...

Now, having said that, I agree that preferably you work on your self-image and develop comfort and confidence, but this can take some time to achieve, and you have opportunity NOW. So get shopping!

Gmanbat, I like you a lot! Hmmm, probably not the best topic under which to post that, but...

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

I mentioned something about my boobs looking like deflated balloons to my new guy and his response was, "Whatever you say...but they are MY deflated balloons."

Cool.

[Marty McSkinnystein 342]

I mentioned something about my boobs looking like deflated balloons to my new guy and his response was, "Whatever you say...but they are MY deflated balloons."

Cool.

awww... sweet

[Lissa 2,631]

Gman, At the risk of someone accusing us of needing a room again, I love you! You always say the perfect thing to make us girls feel better about things!

In a thread awhile back, one of the guys posted that most guys are thinking "Boobs! She's got boobs and she's letting me see them!" and they're NOT looking at areas that WE worry about.

I think that any man who has the privilege to get intimate with me had better be concentrating on telling me what he likes about me, NOT on critiquing my skin issues! Just like BBJ's man said, things may not be perfect, but they're his imperfect things.

[bonbon85 8]

Well I ended up sleeping with him the other night. Not at all what I expected, he didn't say anything at all about the loose skin or anything. I was more comfortable than I thought I would be, I mean it was my first time so ya I was freaking out at first. I actually started out in a nighty and ended up without anything on. I honestly was surprised because I thought that he was gonna be disgusted. It was funny. Because after we were talking and I told him about my surgery and he told me that he was thinking about getting the band done himself.

[fluffylibra30 323]

I love Babydolls! They are long and flows and cover my tummy, but low cut to show the girls, I even have one that doesn't have any cups. No guy is going to pay attention to your tummy when your girls are hanging out. Also they have crotchless panties so you don't even have to get naked of you don't feel comfortable.

Sorry the nookie wasn't the best. Practice makes perfect ????

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Well do him a favor and talk him out of the band. He will just have to have it taken out to get a revision surgery!

Glad you were comfortable and it sounds like it went well. It will only get easier from now on, so that means it will only get better!

[keldolbeth 262]

I'm still pre-op but, as a single woman, I worry about this too. I don't want to be more self-conscious at my goal weight than I am now. I've never been too weird about being naked around a guy I'm "involved" with. My train of thought was always "he can tell I'm a big girl. He obviously knows what he's getting himself into." lol However, the reasons for the body consciousness are obvious now, whereas after surgery they may be hidden. Yes, I worry too much... I've focused way too much on the possible negative results. Ugh!

BUT, I will say that making your insecurities known just make them that more noticeable and apparent to men. Do whatever you can to make sure you feel confident about some of the other parts you can control... in an event like this I always make sure I have my toes, nails, hair, make-up done, everything shaved that needs to be, undergarments and outfit planned! It's all about getting into the right mindset!

To echo some of the others, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again!"

[JMarshall 352]

Most real men won't care about things like stretch marks or a little loose skin. As long as he likes you for who you are, than there should not be a problem.