Weight Gain And Getting Back On Track

[gigglee 0]

Hi, I had my gastric sleeve done in August of 2010 and i weighed my heaviest at 324 on June 28 of 2010. I had a complication in my surgery that left an open wound for a month...I also started having severe stomach spasms in November of 2010 that kept escalating to where by May of 2011 I had every X-ray and test known to man and surgeon did exploratory surgery..said he found nothing but after surgery I never saw him or his NP to tell me what might have been causing it except scar tissue. Okay but despite that I managed by May of 2011 to get to my lowest wt of 216..slowly through summer after drama of surgeon vs me & not hearing from him at all after exploratory surgery to see how i was...I decided not to go back to my surgeon bc something wasn't right ...I was very happy and feeling good about myself but i gained a few pounds got up to 222...In September 2011 I was fired from my job which was a major upset b/c i was so shocked..and I was completely heartbroken. Started seeing a therapist in August before b/c of work but after fired could not afford and didn't feel like he was listening to other things I was trying to speak about..Fell into worst depression for 3 months bc could not find a job...I did have one thing keeping me up my NO Saints bc i had season tickets bought before i lost job. But gradually we get up to 229....Did not get a job until February of 2012..And got thrown into a shark tank where i didn't get lunch break and was eating junk and not sleeping right (that had been happening since September..staying up all night sleeping all day to get through pain)...wt gradually creeping up to 240...lost 10 lbs to 230 now back up to 240...

I am devastated not only have i had failure in my job area but i failed at having my surgery..I paid lg sum of money and a year ago i was very happy...needless to say this is my fault i have not exercised and the stress and depression has taken over. I am so embarrassed to see some friends b/c they are very critical (only b/c they want me to be successful with wt loss) and I just feel like a big loser. I am trying to get back on track.

Then a week ago I had to put my cat of 15 yrs to sleep...I had first severe attack that lasted 2 hrs since February of 2011 (had gallbladder out before sleeve so not that)in which i became so weak and nauseated from pain I almost called ambulance ...then another one last night. Its almost as if my stomach knew that i had insurance so i can continue investigation on why this is occurring b/c I have met so many wt loss its that NEVER had this and they drink carbonated beverages on daily basis ( I may have 16 oz a week if i have any) and its not food instigated..Its like someone is trying to rip something out of me.

Has anyone else had wt gain? Did you feel embarrassed and like you failed once again...am I alone in this ..I am trying I have gone back to eating my Protein bars and making my drinks..Trying to be more consciousness (sp?) of all i eat..About to start walking in the morning bc i have to exercise for stress and to get metabolism going.

Going to my medical dr Monday and embarrassed b/c i have gained 20 lbs. But I will not go over 240 I will NOT go back..I have to get myself together refocus on ME...i lost that at some point. I have had so much negativity that now instead of feeling good for looking a lot better that i did at 324..i only see that severely obese person. I plan on also going to counseling..which i should have done a year ago when i was having issues with my surgeon and stomach pain..b/c it was a horrible experience..

Anyway, not whining or blaming anything but myself and bad circumstances but you always read about all the success stories ....is anyone out there having any issues like myself or have any words of support..I really need someone who has been through wt loss surgery who understands b/c people who haven't don't although they mean well..

Thank you for listening/reading

Tami

[Grateful05 8]

Do you know that God loves you? Do you know you have a purpose on this earth? Do you know that we all fall down at something? Your strength lies in your ability to get up. A 20lb weight gain is not enough for your friends to be ragging on you about. Maybe, you use the term friends to loosely. You've had your share of struggles. Exhale and love you. You deserve a good, healthy life and it is worth the sacrifices you've decided to make.

[LouiseC 1,031]

I don't know anything about god, but I do know about love. My advice would be to focus on loving yourself first. Despite your weight, your job or your pain. Love you. No surgery or career will love you, you have to love you in spite of not liking how your body, health and job are right now.

On the medical front, could it be adhesions causing the pain?

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i researched pain and thought same thing but my surgeon swears he found nothing..i am going back to gastro specialist and redo the scope and maybe do the other route of colonscopy...i need to go in when attack is happening but seriously have not had BAD one in over a year when i started this..i have pains but not to the effect of nausea and weakness and 2hrs ..I take Levsin SL which is antispasmodic (I am a pharmacist) and it relieves it some but the last 2 attacks i maxed out on dose and nothing works. So, its back to exploring we go...