Is Keeping The Secret Possible?

[TheNewSusie 471]

I've told almost everyone I know. I feel like I'm admitting I need help and I know I new it. I can care less what others think of me. Love me or not I'm doing this for myself. If u want to judge then that's their problem. But I am proud of who I am and my accomplishments. I love myself and love life. I just want to gain my life back by not being insecure and feeling confident. Amen!

[Nikki613 120]

So happy that there are people here that are already confident and "dont care what people think". I hope to someday be just like you.

But...to be honest, I started this thread to ask how people have faired at work when not wanting to share the news of thier surgery.

I dont feel the need to share this with people who are not family or friends, and that I do not know personally. I do not feel it is my responsibility to help anyone decide they want surgery.

I do wish everyone luck on their journey

[runner 53]

I think the vacation idea is a good one.

If you want to avoid questions about what you are eating, eat alone.

Other excuses are: not feeling well, sore tooth, broke your tooth and then pain from having dental work, fasting for blood tests, there's lots if you really need them but it might be easier to just leave at lunch and avoid questions.

I'm not sure what you do for work but you can always say you hurt yourself (back, shoulder...) and can't lift.

I'm not telling anyone either. I think it can be done with a few lies. I'm hoping nobody notices too soon after my surgery and then I will say I have changed my eating habits for my health which is true and then I won't have to lie. Hopefully you get some answers that help you out.

[fell4falls 18]

SleeveMe81...you already know how I feel about people and their gossipy ways...let em talk. Your business is your business, and NEVER let ANYONE make you feel bad for making the decision to better yourself and your life. You are better than that. And as for those people thinking that wls is "an easy way out" ...I believe it takes a very strong person to say, "I can't do this on my own...I need help." Just saying.

[Nikki613 120]

Falls...are you stalking me .....you know how I feel about you dear friend.....you are my inspiration.

[june13sleever 223]

One year later I am pretty thin! I think everyone would have thought I was smoking the pipe.

[Miriam 50]

I don't want to tell EVERYONE so for the people who are curious about my meight loss I plan to tell them I was on a strict, low carb, high Protein diet and that is the truth...minus a detail. lol

That's what I've done. I don't think anyone's figured it out, but more than a few people have commented on how fast my weight loss has been (well yes, it has) and I'm pretty sure that a couple of my colleagues are afraid that I'm anorexic! (Part of that was my mistake - I sat in the cafeteria one day and ate lunch there - ooops, forgot that it's not normal to eat about 3 tablespoons of scrambled eggs and be full...) If they figure it out, nothing I can do about it, but I've decided that it's not something I want to share with the world. The only time I felt really bad is when one of my colleagues, who is probably at least as heavy as I was post-op, started sincerely complimenting me on my weight loss and asking me how I did it. I would have loved to share with her because who knows? She might decide that this is something for her as well (I know that she's also struggled with weight loss for many years) and it was only because someone told us about his bariatric surgery that I started looking into it. Maybe at some point I will speak to her privately and tell her.

[shangefan 193]

I've told two close friends (who are a couple). Aside from them, only my medical professionals will know. I have no worries about whether people will be supportive. I am quite confident. I simply don't want to engage folks in discussions about my health decisions. Do I think many people will figure it out? Of course they will. I actually am OK with them coming up with whatever theories they want. I think many will hint around but few will be bold enough to ask. If people want to hint, I simply will ignore them, just as I did when I got the band. They will get the point. And if people at work ask questions, I will be clear that they are in dangerous territory.

[kwindham 57]

To me its not only what others think, I just think my health is none of there business! From preop to 3 weeks post op my hubby was in Saudi. Before surgery he tried to talk me into post;poning until he was home saying You will not be able to do this alone without help. You will need help etc. After a while he saw my point and relented. I have support from my mom, she had bypass 23 years ago and I knew my hubby (no matter how hard he tried) would not understand how I anticipated feeling after surgery (head hunger, etc) He is a 30 in the waste, same size as my teenage boys, and has never been overweight in his life. He eats only to survive, he doesn't sit down to eat to enjoy food, he eats when he is hungry and stops when he is full. He has never overeat to my knowledge and to him eating is something that is required to survive. His entire family is slender whereas my whole family is either very overweight or obese. I dont think he can REALLY understand why everyone is not like him. He doesn't get that people eat to be entertained, feel better emotionally, or just because it taste so durn good! Or whatever reason we all have for overeating for years. I am def not blasting him because he does try to understand, I just dont think he is really capable of COMPLETELY understanding because of our different backgrounds and habits. There are still times I have to catch myself from telling my kids, "clean your plate, dont waste that food"! Old habits die hard but I do not want my kids to grow up obese.

On the flip side, I knew I would have support from my parents and baby brother. my family has battled obesity my whole life! At the time of surgery my mom had just had total hip replacement 4 weeks previously, but still she followed me around the halls after surgery to do my required postop walking using a walker, when I would fall asleep walking she would pat my face and say wake up you gotta walk. Her and my dad stayed at the hosp the whole day until baby brother got off work to come stay with me. He took off for 3 days to stay the night at hospital and bring me home and stay with me at home for a couple days until I was sure I could get around alone.

My point is, we all really need some type of support, but it doesnt really matter where it comes from as long as they understand how hard this can be. I have never regretted the vsg, but it isn't always an easy journey. Sometimes you feel like an infant learning how to eat, what works, what doesn't, etc, finding your limitations, figthting head hunger, and realizing you CANNOT have a cheat meal anymore. its not like a diet when you could take a day off and go to the buffet and pig out. Its simply not possible unless you enjoy pain and vomiting.

I stand by my decision to keep my surgery to myself. This journey can be emotionally draining at times and I simply dont need negativity in my life from people who choose to sugarrcoat sarcasm. It is my journey and I choose to surround myself with people who are genuinly proud for me and say to heck with the others.

[Kendra37 3]

I told everyone! Friends, Family and Coworkers, now I know that was maybe a wrong choice. I had to defend myself as to why I was getting it done. Everyone had their opinion about what diet I should go on instead of going under the knife. Well for the last 25 years dieting hasent worked obviously! So this was a pretty private and personal Quest of mine that I really shouldnt have blurted out to the world. I learned my lesson

[Seemebetter 24]

I only told people close to me everyone else I told I had my gallbladder removed.(which I did) I really feel like its my business only. I know some people MAY support you but I perfer them to support the weight loss not the reason. I am currently 12 days after and fighting to eat soft food trying to get enough Protein and Water. I really don't have time to listen to potenial Nay sayers....Nope sure dont

[girlfriday 59]

I think it is a very personal and private decision. I do not like for people to know all my business. I would encourage you to find at least one person you know you can trust and let them know of your decision. that person should be someone who is uplifting and positive. I guess no one should really care what other people think, but we wouldn't be human if we didn't. some people can just brush other people's opinions off better than others. you will find lots of support and love here though. so, just think about it. do only what you is best for you. if you end up telling no one, that is perfectly fine if you are fine with it. NO ONE ELSE MATTERS BUT YOU IN THIS JORNEY.

Sent from my iPad using VST

[shinelily 2]

I think it is possible and BETTER to keep the secret..I live in a community where people tend to judge eachother and worship gossip n asking question..I told about ten of my friends n i do regret it now..I think its my OWN BUISNESS and its easier to live my life without having to answer questions n telling the story over n over again..whenever somebody comments about my weight loss i give short general responses..I am about one year out now,,

[xlr8ahead 40]

I have decided today' date=' that I do not want to tell anyone at work about having surgery. Lets just say there are a lot of snotty little b*****s who snarl and look you up and down when your eating.your own birthday cupcake.

So, is there any way possible to keep it a secret? Any expieriences? i was toying with saying i was having abdominal surgery but now after today im thinking of taking vacation for a week and not saying anything about surgery. I work a desk job. But we do some lifting of boxes on occasion?

Agghhhb

[/quote']

Just tell them if they ask youv started a slimfast diet.thsts mostly shakes so it wouldnt matter.if they need to know your going in hospital.just tell them you gotta have your gallbladder out.simmular scars .thdh wouldnt have a clue.be convinsing lol.thats wat im gpnna say.if they wanna speclateet them carry on .itl b fun for you lol

[BeatrizS1974<3 sleeve 94]

I am one of those people who dont give a **** about what anyone says. I have told just about anyone that will listen that i am having surgery. People will talk if you tell them and they will talk if you don't tell them. I have heard mostly positive remarks but have heard a couple of negative comments about having surgery. You know what i told them? " Im sorry you feel that way, but you know that saying Opinions are like a$$holes everyone has one, that is your opinion" I am happy with my decision and no one is going to rain on my parade!