Is Keeping The Secret Possible?

[neeve 12]

I have also chosen not to tell. I am about 6 weeks out and have lost 30 pounds and starting at 315 30 pounds isn't noticeable my stomach and face are a little smaller. I post on Facebook about me going to the gym and at work I say I really want to start a new me by lowering my calories everyday and working out. I drink a lot of Water. My coworkers think im going cold turkey so I tell them this is something I refuse to fail on so I must work hard. That's exactly what I am doing. I chose to keep my wls to myself its something I did for myself. Just the people in my home know. So when people see you smaller give them all the tips about protien and Vitamins, water and working out because that's exactly what we are doing.

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

No one at school/work knows besides a very limited number of people who I've told. It's only hard to keep it a secret from people who you eat with every day. These days, I can eat so much that even when I tell someone who's known me for a while about my surgery, they will often act surprised, because they haven't noticed that I eat a small amount of food. It was tougher the first few months, but even so, when going out you can get around it. Order a lot of things to share and then no one will notice whether you had 3 nachos or 6.

[CaliKat 153]

I haven't told anyone at work and don't plan to. I took a week off work (no explaining needed) and hoped and prayed I didn't have a complication that would keep me out longer. Thank god I didn't!

If I did have an issue, I was planning on telling them I had a medical procedure that had complications and use FMLA to cover the additional missed time. I would not have gone into details.

I am a bit unusual though.... I am the only employee at a satellite office of a large practice- so I don't have co-workers.... Just clients daily (who dont notice) and I see my boss about once every 3 months!!

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

I believe if you want to keep your surgery to yourself, that is your absolute right. If you plan on doing it that way, you need to develop an easy, believable story that will explain the radically different way you are going to be behaving after surgery towards food, drink, and exercise. Several people I have read about on this forum have done this. Once you have decided on your story you will tell, practice telling it until it sounds like the truth coming out of your mouth.

I have started a new job and am not telling people about my weight loss surgery (for the most part). Not that I am ashamed or anything - I'm proud of it - to the point I made an ad for my surgeon. I really don't give a damn what other people think. I just don't want it to be the first thing they find out about me. People I lunch with know I am careful about what I eat, like to exercise, and only drink no cal non-carbonated drinks. It is easier for me now (16 months out) to do this.

Good luck with your journey.

Sharon

[randalljohn 22]

This has been an eye opening and exhausting thread....thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and advice. Good luck to you all

Exhausting is right! I keep hoping this thread will die, but I guess I have just contributed to its life.

[NEW ME 2012 6]

I have decided today' date=' that I do not want to tell anyone at work about having surgery. Lets just say there are a lot of snotty little b*****s who snarl and look you up and down when your eating.your own birthday cupcake.

So, is there any way possible to keep it a secret? Any expieriences? i was toying with saying i was having abdominal surgery but now after today im thinking of taking vacation for a week and not saying anything about surgery. I work a desk job. But we do some lifting of boxes on occasion?

Agghhhb

[/quote']

I took a week off from work...surgery on Monday, was back to work the following Monday...desk job too! Told NOONE, not even my patents! Definitely noone at work! Just my husband! It is hard work to loose the weight. The sleeve helps, but, exercise and eating the right foods are key...I never worked out in my life and now 6 times a week! So like you didn't want the snot heads at work dis-credit all my hard work, because of using surgery as a tool...I look at the surgery like the trainer at the gym...trainer keeps you working out right, and sleeve, makes sure you don't over eat...BOTH TOOLS...you still have to be in it 100% to get the weight off!

[sk8lady 5]

Don't tell! I didn't and they can make any assumptions they want. A lot of people don't even know about the sleeve in my area. Someone asked if I had a bypass and I truthfully said no. They asked if I had a lapland and again I said no. I said I have drastically changed my eating habits and that was the end of it. Let them think what they want but after one year + they don't ask anymore. I haven't even told my mother or son!!! Sometimes I think about telling my son but it's been so long now, I figure why bother. With negative judgmental people in your life, I wouldn't share with them. It's none of their business!

[randalljohn 22]

I know this topic has been beat to death, but I have only told a few people and not even my own mother. There are so many people that look down on those who "have no self-control and resort to surgery." That is the way my family would view it and so do many who don't have a weight problem.

I am not going to lie when someone flat-out asks if I had surgery ( which is really none of their business and they shouldn't ask)-- and that has happened and I have explained why I'm not advertising it. But it is getting more difficult because I have dropped 50 pounds in two months---and it's a pretty dramatic change when people you haven't seen in a while see you.

I wish people didn't see the surgery as the "lazy way out", but I don't think the way skinny people see fat people is going to change any time soon.

[MonicaR 8]

I am not telling anyone but my mother. I am saying I am gonna have hernia surgery & I started a diet now so when they see changes it won't be so bad.

[AKSleever 57]

If people ask you just tell them your trying to lose weight the right way, diet exercise, and that's eating very small meals every couple hours, and your doing what the doctor advises you! That makes everyone go oh ok! Plus when I say I can't eat something they sometimes ask why and I tell them that because it's not on my doctor approved food plan, no questions asked after that!

[EricaVSGJourney 64]

I've been at my current job for less than a year, and I've only told 3 people, and it wasn't really because I felt like sharing, it just made my life easier.

There are a group of ladies I occasionally go to lunch with - I don't know any of them very well, but one day when I was just 2 weeks post-op, we went out. I told them that I had to bring my lunch... well, when my "lunch" only consisted of 1/2 cup of cottage cheese, one lady started really questioning me. I could feel her pushing me, trying to understand what was going on. I knew it was going to be impossible to continue socializing with her if this was going to be the trend of my life in the future... so I broke down and told the 2 that I was out to lunch with. I'm very sure that they've told others - who and how many, I can't say. But it was a relief. Now I don't have to dance around the subject - if they want to judge me, who cares. No matter what the life situation, I can't control what people think of me, nor does it have any relevance in my life.

The 3rd person I told was a client. I was traveling to the client site about 6 weeks post-op. We went to lunch every day, and my eating habits were raising eyebrows ... there are only so many bowls of Soup one can eat for a woman my size that doesn't raise suspicion. My client actually thought I didn't like where she was taking me to lunch, and was worried I wasn't feeling okay, etc... Again, it just made my life easier to explain to her why I was eating so little and of such non-consequential foods. She was incredibly understanding (at least outwardly), and it made the remaining 2 days of my trip a LOT easier, because all of a sudden she was concerned that we pick out a place where I could eat.

For me, living openly and honestly is just more comfortable. I don't have to remember what I've told people - I can just be me.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I told just enough people at work that everyone found out about it, which was my intention. I've heard nothing negative. Many people have commented positively on my weight loss, and I have one coworker who had bypass years ago and he has been a great sounding board for me, since he was right where I am now.

I think most people who know me know I really don't care if they don't agree with my decision. I dont mind defending my decision to have surgery What's the worst they are gonna say? That I'm fat and I couldn't lose the weight on my own? That was true BEFORE the surgery so nothing has really changed.

I feel like the people who haven't said a word are either respecting my privacy or they have nothing positive to say and they are keeping their negativity to themselves. Either way I'm cool with it. My life has only gotten better since surgery.

[Shape_Shifter 83]

I've decided not to tell anyone who I couldn't tell its my TOM. lol

I will be making changes to my diet. if anybody asks that's my answer and its the truth. they don't ask how my TOM is going, or care, why shoudl they care about this.

However, if another person in my situation asks how I did it (depending on person) I would probably pass along the information in the hopes that it would help them. Thats how I got here. A neighbor was extremely open but she also had a lot of family & friends support who had done it previously and since.

My side of the family is small, and full of nurses who know it all and would worry themselves to death with everything that could go wrong. My husbands side of the family is full of nosey people who do nothing but talk behind your back or say inappropriate comments in front of others. I don't need the hassle.

I do not have alot of friends. I've lost touch with most so if they were to see me in a year 30-60 lbs lighter they would still think I put on weight since I saw them last.

My coworkers dont know me well enough and i've told the few that i've talked to about being gone that I'm having female surgery - just enough to shut up my satan-like boss and still allow me to use some of my sick leave. just enough sick leave that i don't have to turn in paperwork.

its a personal choice. whether its based out of self-preservation or privacy, it doesn't matter. I also have the choice to change my mind at any point in time.

My husband and grown daughter know. I will tell my teenage son. Even though he may say something accidentially to someone that I don't want to know about the WLS I am not willing to run the risk that I would hurt him by not telling him and that is far more important to me (and no I wouldn't tell him its my TOM lol)

10 days to go!

[LT1002 138]

When I had the band in 2010, I was also having a hernia repaired, so I said that to people. My plan this time was to tell people I was having another surgery for endometriosis (I've had 2 already) and that it affected my intestines (not uncommon). I work with a bunch of catty skinny women (and catty skinny gay men), so naturally I was wary of saying anything. Ultimately, I said screw it and came out in a post on Facebook. The amount of support I have gotten from friends, family and people I haven't even seen in years has been astounding! Even those catty skinny women and gay men have been awesomely supportive. It's not like people didn't know I was overweight - wearing black and Spanx aren't magic - and the idea that I'm doing something about it has made these folks rally around me. Maybe if I had that support when I had the band, I could have been more successful.

[SleeveandRNYchica 1,155]

I told very few people about my new life! The nosey people @ work (so i didnt have to lift) i told them and a few nosey neighbors, I had hemorroid surgery!! LOL i Took my week off, no one asks now how my hemorroids are!!! LOL

THIS HAS ME CRACKING UP!!! LOVE IT!