Is Keeping The Secret Possible?

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Come out of the closet people. The problem with WLS is the stigma associated with it. The reason so many uneducated people are against the surgery is that the only time they ever hear about it is when things go bad and patients die....the horror stories. The only success stories they hear are when some person looses 400 or 500 pounds. So most folks think the surgery is either a death warrant, or for people with several hundred pounds to lose.

You people here are the real success stories. Let your stories be heard and lift the stigma. Let folks see that this surgery will save lives and improve the quality of life for alot of people who can't get there otherwise. It's safe and alot of people could really benefit from it.

[shangefan 193]

Sigh! I don't think anyone has an obligation to do that. If it works for them and their life, they should do so. If that isn't in keeping with their personal priorities, they should not. Either way, there shouldn't be pressure or shame associated with the decision.

[missmeow 156]

Start eating at your desk or in your car away from them now. Tell them you're on a liquid diet when they ask. You're going to be on one before and for a bit after, so they will see you with your meal boxes. It will also explain the rapid weight loss.

I've seen people do liquid diets before and lose a lot of weight. People will talk smack about that but they won't be in all your business and offering their "advice" about your WLS at least.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Sigh! I don't think anyone has an obligation to do that. If it works for them and their life' date=' they should do so. If that isn't in keeping with their personal priorities, they should not. Either way, there shouldn't be pressure or shame associated with the decision.[/quote']

I'm not trying to pressure or shame anyone, just encourage them to stand up and be proud of what they have done.

I apologize here and now if I came off as preachy.

[kczar 166]

I havent had my surgery. And honestly I have no big morals against lying... And to anyone whos not important to me def. I told my family and closest friend besides that, such as coworkers I told the I have a tumor its gonna be removed this date, possibly chemo after (hair loss and weight loss explained) ive had cancer also before, and maybe this makes me a bad person. But hey itll get everyone off my ass with all their questions once I have the surgery. Bein fat is my cancer

I would strongly discourage you from doing this. First, there's the karmic implications. I'm sorry you had cancer before and am very glad you made it through, but why put that out there? And what kind of effect will this have on your coworkers? It's very upsetting for someone you see every day to be sick. And if they find out you didn't have a tumor/chemo? That could get ugly. For those you don't want to share your decision with, perhaps you could just say you're having surgery and it's personal. The implication could be that it's female related and most people shy away from that!

Good luck on your journey.

[blondeej 111]

I am very much in the closet about my surgery/surgeries. I can count on one hand the amount of people in my life that know about my WLS.

I am off work until Friday and I told everyone (but the one coworker I feel close enough to) that I am having my gall bladder removed.

I don't have to worry about them thinking my post-op diets are weird, because they know me as a "health-freak" anyways due to my consistent efforts to eat right and work out with my band up until now.

Everyone's journey is different. I don't feel it's anyone's business, and I don't think I owe it to anyone to have to share my story either. I am not a walking PSA for obesity.

Who knows, one day once I'm down 120-130 lbs I might feel like shouting it from the rooftops, and then I will (which I highly doubt) - but until then this is my decision on how to handle it.

To the OP - the key to keeping this info quiet is to keep conversation about it to a minimum. The less you talk about any of it (whether it be my gall bladder cover story or what not) the less ammo they have and the less info they will search for from you.

I wish you the best!!

[hadouni 301]

I've only told a few close girlfriends and my family (which is small). Work knows I had a hiatal hernia repaired and I said I had some acid damage repaired in my stomach. I was able to use the GI surgery to explain my post-op eating. I too, didn't want to deal with the catty remarks and judgement.

I had a co-worker tell me she thought I'd had lap-band or gastric-bypass and I just said no, I hadn't had either of those procedures and left it at that.

People can think what they want. I feel pretty private about this so I'm not broadcasting it. I did tell the gal who cuts my hair because she was getting a little worried about my sudden Hair loss. The one good thing she said is she sees quite a bit of regrowth! Thank goodness!

[randalljohn 22]

i have not told most people. I did tell my direct boss at work and of course my wife and kids know. My parents would not agree with the decision that I made and most of my co-workers would see surgery as too drastic of a decision and have been judgmental of those who have had some kind of weight loss surgery.

I do feel guilty when people ask me about my weight loss. Like most of you, I am telling people that I have cut way down on portions and I am eating high Protein, low carb. All that is true, of course.

I don't talk about other medical procedures that I have had with anyone else as they are private and this weight loss surgery should be no different.

Right now, I'm glad that I made the decision not to disclose it. I took only a few vacation days and was back at work very quickly.

[rizabonita 41]

I have been losing weight at a slow rate and regret telling ppl that I had the surgery. No one would have known, my kids know that I was on a diet (pre op) and everywhere we go my 4-yr old manages to tell everyone that I can't eat stuff because I'm on a diet...lol so that would've helped in keeping the WLS to myself o-O Bottom line, if I were u, I'd keep it to myself. Those ppl u work with don't need to know ur business anyways

keepin it real

[disneyteach 68]

I have been losing weight at a slow rate and regret telling ppl that I had the surgery. No one would have known, my kids know that I was on a diet (pre op) and everywhere we go my 4-yr old manages to tell everyone that I can't eat stuff because I'm on a diet...lol so that would've helped in keeping the WLS to myself o-O Bottom line, if I were u, I'd keep it to myself. Those ppl u work with don't need to know ur business anyways

keepin it real

This is a very hot and controversial topic, but it all comes down to you. I agree you should keep it private, tell a few important people or blast it out to the world like me. Again, I blasted it out, because my wife told her family and they will gossip about a dead squirrel and I barely like any of them. So why shouldn't people I like know? It was a wonderful decision I made, because everyone wants to know about my surgery. I have a ton of big friends and they want to know everything. Most likely, they are considering the surgery.

My biggest thing is if I kept it private and I died on that surgery table or a few weeks after, like some people have. I wanted to tell everyone I loved them. My major reason for telling people is that the same reason I have a blog and I am writing on this forum, if it were not for people stepping forward, admitting they had surgery and giving me helpful tips, I would have never gotten the surgery. Maybe I would be died a few years from now or had a stroke. The amount of support I get from this forum, a support group, family, friends and co-workers, who have had bypass, lap band or sleeve, is amazing. That is my life, not yours. I have worked with pain in the ... co-workers. So I feel your pain. Do what makes you happy. Remember, every overweight and obese person is probably sitting at their desk googling about this surgery and reading the horror stories. They need support, too. If it means a few people laugh behind my back, go ahead, I rather support other big people and I am doing it 50 pounds lighter and exercising every day! Like I tell people or a former student, who made fun of me because I was fat: "There are solutions for me losing weight. There is no solution for being a jerk!"

[june13sleever 223]

I tell everyone. So many people suffer, and I think if they can see my success than they might make the decision to change their life. The decision is the hardest part of the whole thing (at least for me). Now after watching all the episodes of Weight of a Nation on HBO, I feel compelled to tell even more people about it. The part about the way our bodies act when we are on a diet is a very compelling reason to have the surgery. We should be proud that we took a drastic measure because doing in on your own is a constant battle of the mind and body.

[Ren<3 11]

bean iloved your point only weightloss surgeries you ever see are for ppl who's 400 or 500 but many ppl aren't educated enough to know that every case is different meaning co morbidities or maybe the person has pcos like myself even though some ppl were like omg Ren you're not even that big? well I'm not even that small either lol icouldnt imagine telling a lie that long so my feelings were at the time if you support me you support me this is my one life so goodluck everyone<3

[ChristianMomma7 13]

I am new to this site, I'm going to have my surgery on June 25th and I'm currently on the liquid diet (have to be on it for 3 weeks, I'm 8 days down) and I've told close friends & family.

I wouldn't lie to people if they point blank asked me, I might say that this is a sensitive subject and I'd like to keep it to myself. I'm fortunate to be a stay at home mom so I don't have a job to worry about and all of you are so strong that do.

I am however very involved with my church & basically told close church members and had them just put me on the prayer chain for "personal surgery".

I think people can be so rude & mean at times and they just don't get it. If they haven't gone through this type of thing they just don't know.

In short, I'd just tell them you're shy about it & would rather talk about something else!

[minnie20 8]

I also choose not to tell my co-workers except for the immediate 3 people that I am also friends with. I had my surgery 2/13. My family and a few close friends outside of work also know but noone else. It is nobody's business what you do. I just felt that people would judge me if I didn't succeed.My surgeon also told me that if I felt more comfortable not telling anyone at work that I could just tell them I was having abdominal hernia surgery. The length of hospital stay and the amount of time needed to be out of work coincides with hernia surgery. I am now 4 months post-op, down 56 lbs and feel great. People are daily telling me how good I look and how am I losing the weight and I tell them that I went to a nutritionist ( not a lie ) and I am on a high Protein, low carb, low calorie diet.( also not a lie ) I also tell them that I eat much smaller portions ( again, not a lie ) I just omit the surgery part which is not lying just not revealing all the details. Good Luck with whatever desicion you make about your surgery but I just wanted to let you know it is possible not to tell people. Afterall, you wouldn't reveal personal information to everyone you came across so just think of your surgery like that.

[AaronRene12 1]

I've just started this journey, however I've planned out the situation as far as who I'm telling and who I'm not telling. As far as work, they know I'm currently looking for a surgeon, however I told them it was for something different. My job isn't really somewhere I want to be once I start the new me, so (while I've been planning to leave earlier this year) I will be leaving (hopefully) 6(ish) months post op if not much sooner.

As far as my family, the people I will tell/have told will be those I can most count on to be my support. The first person I've told was one of my uncles who is more of a spiritual advisor to me. I hope to have him with me at the seminars and everything. The other person I've told so far is one of my aunts, who had a gastric bypass, she has helped me find a doctor and is helping me start getting ready for pre op.

I will be telling a few more people (mostly family) however, the people I don't want know about it right now include my mother (we're currently not speaking and I dont want that negativity around me while I'm working this out), my grandparents (simply so they don't freak out or freak me out on the day of), etc.

If people do find out its no big deal, it's not going to change anything, I just want the majority to find out after. I'm someone who always second guesses my self and usually doesn't follow though (due to the 2nd guessing) so the only people I want to talk about it with are those who are as dedicated to helping me as I am to my self.