Nikki613 120 Posted June 10, 2012 Oh wow. I am so sorry your husband did that to you. My husband have gone round and round about him wanting to tell his parents. I have decided that I dont want them to know, only because i am new to the family and I worry his mom will tell everyone. She is a medical gossip tells everyone about everyone elses medical issues ect. (Shes a nurse). I just dont know the rest of the family well enough to not feel uncomfortable. I dont even know most of them by name yet. Lol. I really wish you the best of luck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tjmom 200 Posted June 10, 2012 Honey i am so sorry you are going through this....How long have you been married? Do you have children? What are their ages? As you lose weight you are going to go through so many mental phases, you are going to need support... Yes, you have all of us, but i worry about "instant responses"... Do you have someone who will give you a hug when you need it? (that's why i asked ages of kids)..... Yes, this is about YOU ...don't lose that focus!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MGM 140 Posted June 10, 2012 I have been married 20 years, have 2 sons18 and 16 and they ARE supportive. They both think their dad is a jerk for that.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tjmom 200 Posted June 10, 2012 I am so glad your boys are supportive ..... Good luck!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tjmom 200 Posted June 10, 2012 I am so glad your boys are supportive ..... Good luck!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Texarkolina 201 Posted June 10, 2012 I am sorry that he did that to you. I would be mad and hurt too. Be mad--yell and scream if that it what it takes--but get it out of your system and let it go. You can't unring the bell and you really don't need this distraction right now. Please don't let his big mistake turn into a major part of your journey. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MGM 140 Posted June 10, 2012 I've let it go. Left last night to get some distance. Back tonight. Now what's pissing me off, is he's being cold to me! But I really have let that he told go. But like I said earlier. I'm gonna enjoy the ride...with or without him/his support. I'm good now! 1 1969lulu reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deltadawn817 106 Posted June 10, 2012 this is my experience as it sounds like we are married to the same man. I have been sleeve for 3 months and now I have to hear things like it really does work UGH WTF. Also since he is still making comments. OH and tells me how if I don't eat ____ that I will loose more..etc Things haven't changed at all I still want to rip his face off at times and something has to change I also find myself resenting him even more since he wasn't supportive when I was 50lbs heavier. I am sure we won't last but my kids are still young 7 and 2. 2 gramaof4 and MGM reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki613 120 Posted June 10, 2012 I am a firm believer in either both people working really hard to fix their relationship or walking away. Sometimes all it takes is one person to start treating the other person better and being more loving....even if they dont deserve it now. Shower them with support and love and if they dont start coming around well, then its time to give them the ultimatum, therapy or divorce. I left my ex after doing everything I could for 3 years. My daughter is still devistated at times and it was rough on her. I decided it was better she didnt grow up seeing her parents miserable and fighting. I am married now and she will grow up seeing a healthy relationship. 1 MrzSongbird reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MGM 140 Posted June 10, 2012 I tried being nice, loving and understanding to him for months a couple years ago. Nothing changed with him. I don't think I can afford to do it on my own. I vented. I'll be ok. One of these days! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AKSleever 57 Posted June 10, 2012 Have you tried the book Fireproof your marriage! It takes alot of work on your behalf, and a lot of belief in God! However it can truly make you happy! Even though he doesn't want to participate in counseling do something for you! 2 peacequeen and Territravel reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AKSleever 57 Posted June 10, 2012 It's not about changing who he is but about accepting the new you! And loving the new you!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lloydthumper 70 Posted June 10, 2012 Ok with all the estrogen voicing I feel I should step in being a man and say I think he's scared of you changing and not being able to keep you. I would love to know the divorce rate and relationship break up post sleeve.weight loss. My wife is supportive of me getting sleeved for health reasons. All 103lbs of her. But she has mentioned me losing weight and going else where. My wife is very beautiful and confident in herself and looks but she still made the comment after 14yrs of marriage. Were that couple that everyone sees out and says to themself why is she with him? It's a natural defense to push away someone you feel may hurt you for some reason. Just my 2cents and the way I would be feeling if I was in his shoes. 4 butterbean, katieb, LouiseC and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
petal 11 Posted June 10, 2012 And this is the reason I have told NO-BODY.. not even my new partner.. poor love thought I was having some "cysts" removed.. as it was "girly " stuff he never asked too many questions,, and as for the weight loss , well even before surgery he knew I was determined to stick to my HIGH Protein LOw carb diet....poor love a little clueless but at least I dont have the wispers and back stabiing from his family and friends.. MY resoning for not telling anyone was because when I had the lapband and swore my ex-husband to secrecy he betrayed that trust and told people i didnt want to know , who they then bought the subject up to me in front of other NEW friends that had no idea of my weight struggles asking all sorts of stuff.. not discreat at all... glad he is now my EX husband... I hope your husband gets more supportive of your decisions and wishes ,, good luck x Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
carlab51 51 Posted June 10, 2012 I am so sorry this happen to you. My husband needs to have this surgery also because he is is Type 2 and it is uncontrolled. I asked him not to tell and he is so good at keeping secrets. That used to bother me that he would not tell me stuff but now that it is me that doesnt want it told, I love him so much for it. He is waiting to see how I do to decide if he will do it. I think he is a little scared about how it will change me. You know the whole you skinny and I not thing. He just needs to coming along with me. Problem solved. Good luck MGM! You are going to do great. Surround yourself with support and stay positive. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
