Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Thought I Could Trust My Husband!



Recommended Posts

If he says things to you like it's not going to work or help, you sure aren't overreacting in my opinion. This is a very big deal and it should be as private as you want it - if someone didn't respect my wishes and told others, especially my spouse .... woooboy, look out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, your hubby is a total ****! He's not supportive of your decision to have surgery? He sounds like he's hasn't fallen very far from the apple tree. This would be a great time to seek marriage counseling so that he can be a better support to you and not sabotage your efforts to loss this excess weight. Just thoughts and recommendations for future successes in your life! ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He won't go to counseling because theres nothing wrong with him (his words).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm going to play devils advocate because....well I always do lol

I made my partner swear to secrecy as well - for a long time. I let her tell her family when I decided it was time. The truth? She needed them.

I wrapped my life up into having surgery. Every free day was spent at doctors appointments, making sure insurance was doing things properly, and I was completely consumed. I made life about me....and therefore I made my partners life about me too. WE focused on getting me healthy.

I didn't realize until after surgery how scared she was - How worried she was for my health and how our children would react to it. She needed people like her family to turn to in her difficult moments.

I am not saying what he did was right - because I would have been angry as well. I'm just speaking from my experiences.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stacey, if he was caring I would give that a possibility, but his family has never accepted me (22 years) and it just adds fuel to the conversation about how much they dislike me fire! Not to mention I walked out last night because I needed to calm down, and never came home. He's not even called to check on me. So yeah, he doesn't care!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps this is a sign please do not take it the wrong way but basically you will have a new life after this surgery, you will be thin and looking quite sexy, this makes a boost to the confidence U may even decide to change your appearance when this happens others will look this will go one or two ways. He will either be jealous and start overly caring or perhaps someone else will be doing all the caring. Either way I wish you luck in your surgery everything will be ok one way or the other.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So my husband did the same thing and got a very similar response from me as you and yours. Now that I've lost so much weight he is singing a different tune. I think this has put some stuff into perspective for him. I hope the same thing for your husband

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ur husband says there's nothing wrong with h? This is a time to take care of u. Like someone else has said here, u are going to make a great change in ur life and will be experiencing a shift I'm what u want and how u let him treat u. ;$

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks all of you for your loving and caring support. It has really helped. This IS about me, for once. And no matter where it takes me or who comes along for the ride, it's MY time, Bd I'm going to enjoy the ride!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel you. I told my mom not to tell anyone. Next thing u know my aunt calls me.. so how do u feel. How much have u lost.. she has always been supportive n all but a secret is a secret.. n then I get in the car n my moms friend ask me r u feeling well. Like wthell mom seriously who else knows... uugh so I feel u on that! If I was next to ur husband I would pull his ears off.. so u can do it for me .. lol.. anywho cheer up wats done is done now its time for success!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel you. I told my mom not to tell anyone. Next thing u know my aunt calls me.. so how do u feel. How much have u lost.. she has always been supportive n all but a secret is a secret.. n then I get in the car n my moms friend ask me r u feeling well. Like wthell mom seriously who else knows... uugh so I feel u on that! If I was next to ur husband I would pull his ears off.. so u can do it for me .. lol.. anywho cheer up wats done is done now its time for success!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sry this app thing posted it twice

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is about you and your health. As you can see by each of us that have responded to your posts, you are important. The more weight you lose, the more wonderful you will feel. I wouldn't worry about your spouse's family. This is time to focus on you and get healthy, an option would be to go to counseling without him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I forgot who said it in someone elses post about how their friend was being unsupportive and rude, but in not so much reference to that; you're losing the pounds so why not lose the people/situations that aren't supporting that positive thing in your life?

Not suggesting you should get a divorce, but LET HIM KNOW that his unsupportive behavior is not cool and that he should try to be more understanding of where you are coming from instead of being such a jerk about the whole situation. Tell him you don't have room for all that negativity!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't had surgery yet. It's scheduled for August 23rd. So no pounds coming off yet. But yes, while I'm changing, either his attitude can or his address can!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×