My Story:: Sorry It's Long

[amberj 21]

I have struggled with my weight for mot of my life. I learned how to cope with life and issues by eating junk food. It was the only stable steady thing in my life. My mother died from cancer when i was 4 and my father passed a year later by ways of his own hands. At the time I didn't understand, but as i grew older, i missed them and couldn't process why I had to be the one little girl without parents in my school. So i ate. candy, ice cream, cake, Cookies, chips, etc. I started dieting when I was about 12. I weighed about 180 pounds. I tried the typical diets like weight watchers and those 3 days of starvation diets. Nothing ever worked. By the time I was a senior in high school, I weighed 250 pounds. Luckily I wasn't teased in school. I was well liked and the fact that i had an older brother who was able and willing to whip anyone who offended me didn't hurt. I started taking addepex (sp?) a year or so later. I weighed around 280. I lost 40ish pounds. But like most diets, it didn't stick. I gained it all back and then some. At 21, I had my first child. I got up to 310 during the pregnancy. That weight never went away. Last year, I had my second child. I weighed about 355 when I had her. I had gestational diabetes during the pregnancy and I almost died the day I went into labor because of extreme blood pressure numbers. I was put in ICU to recover because even after the birth my blood pressure would not get to a stable number. I have never been more scared in my life. I knew that something had to change. I wanted to see my children grow up. I didn't want to die because I was too fat to function. I made a consultation appointment in October. The process to getting approved was really easy for me. I got approved the first try and it only took a week after the claim was submitted. I had my surgery on November 16th. The day after I regretted having it done. I threw up constantly and I could not keep any pain medicine down. This went on for 3 or so days. I lost weight pretty fast at first and I was thrilled because something was actually working. I had my ups and downs and ins and outs. I have been frustrated with myself a lot. Stalls have lasted months at a time but I can only blame myself. I think a lot is self destruction. I am afraid to be small because I never have been. I started getting a lot of saggy skin and i couldn't stand to see myself in the mirror. i started eating poorly again and the weight loss stopped all together. I am just now getting the point where I can admit I have an issue with my self and that I have fears of losing a lot of weight. This surgery is by far the best thing I have done, but it is also the hardest. I wish I would have realized that it only fixed my stomach size, it didn't fix my mind. I still want to eat junk, especially when I get down. I still want to do the things I did before. Old habits resurface in the face of adversity and I am struggling very hard to overcome that. almost 7 months have passed and I have lost about 70 pounds. Some days I feel like i haven't lost a pound. I am an ongoing process and I know that I will reach my goal because I have this amazing tool to help me. So to anyone reading this who is considering getting the surgery, make sure your minds in the right place because it can take a serious toll on your mental state. It also helps to have a support group. his site is great for that. Thanks for reading and best of luck on your own journey

[FishingNurse 1,210]

Thanks for sharing girl! You are beautiful before and after. I share some of your struggles!

[VJSlim 156]

It takes a lot of courage to admit our issues in public. I salute you for your courage!

70lbs in less than 7 months is a serious achievement. Reading this has made me understand that most of us slip every once in a while but we really need to get back on track. Thanks for sharing your story!!

PS: You look great!

[Lissa 2,631]

70 pounds in 7 months is fantastic! And, you are beautiful, both before and after!! Don't let the skin worry you. Since you're young, most of it will reabsorb!

I wish I looked as good as you do after two kids!

[bonbon0576 9]

I'm right there with you. I had surgery on Halloween and the mental part has been the hardest for me. I still want all the junk too! I've lost 80 pounds and still have 50 more to lose to get to where I want to be. I think I started feeling bad about how I looked when I started to see all the loose skin and all of those bad feelings came back and I wanted to turn to food like I always have. I'm tring hard to get past it, but it's an addiction that is hard to overcome because we have to eat to live. Good luck to you Amber!

[1920-Zeta 64]

I have struggled with my weight for mot of my life. I learned how to cope with life and issues by eating junk food. It was the only stable steady thing in my life. My mother died from cancer when i was 4 and my father passed a year later by ways of his own hands. At the time I didn't understand' date=' but as i grew older, i missed them and couldn't process why I had to be the one little girl without parents in my school. So i ate. candy, ice cream, cake, Cookies, chips, etc. I started dieting when I was about 12. I weighed about 180 pounds. I tried the typical diets like weight watchers and those 3 days of starvation diets. Nothing ever worked. By the time I was a senior in high school, I weighed 250 pounds. Luckily I wasn't teased in school. I was well liked and the fact that i had an older brother who was able and willing to whip anyone who offended me didn't hurt. I started taking addepex (sp?) a year or so later. I weighed around 280. I lost 40ish pounds. But like most diets, it didn't stick. I gained it all back and then some. At 21, I had my first child. I got up to 310 during the pregnancy. That weight never went away. Last year, I had my second child. I weighed about 355 when I had her. I had gestational diabetes during the pregnancy and I almost died the day I went into labor because of extreme blood pressure numbers. I was put in ICU to recover because even after the birth my blood pressure would not get to a stable number. I have never been more scared in my life. I knew that something had to change. I wanted to see my children grow up. I didn't want to die because I was too fat to function. I made a consultation appointment in October. The process to getting approved was really easy for me. I got approved the first try and it only took a week after the claim was submitted. I had my surgery on November 16th. The day after I regretted having it done. I threw up constantly and I could not keep any pain medicine down. This went on for 3 or so days. I lost weight pretty fast at first and I was thrilled because something was actually working. I had my ups and downs and ins and outs. I have been frustrated with myself a lot. Stalls have lasted months at a time but I can only blame myself. I think a lot is self destruction. I am afraid to be small because I never have been. I started getting a lot of saggy skin and i couldn't stand to see myself in the mirror. i started eating poorly again and the weight loss stopped all together. I am just now getting the point where I can admit I have an issue with my self and that I have fears of losing a lot of weight. This surgery is by far the best thing I have done, but it is also the hardest. I wish I would have realized that it only fixed my stomach size, it didn't fix my mind. I still want to eat junk, especially when I get down. I still want to do the things I did before. Old habits resurface in the face of adversity and I am struggling very hard to overcome that. almost 7 months have passed and I have lost about 70 pounds. Some days I feel like i haven't lost a pound. I am an ongoing process and I know that I will reach my goal because I have this amazing tool to help me. So to anyone reading this who is considering getting the surgery, make sure your minds in the right place because it can take a serious toll on your mental state. It also helps to have a support group. his site is great for that. Thanks for reading and best of luck on your own journey[/quote']

Your picture looks fabulous. God has u here for a reason. Sharing your story helps me. Stay strong. * Success, Support, Blessings, and Prayers coming your way*

[amberj 21]

Thanks for all of the support. It is so nice to know I am not alone with the struggles that I am facing. It helps to know that I have somewhere to turn without fearing the" I told you you couldn't do it" or the" I told you it wouldn't work" speech.

[1920-Zeta 64]

Your picture looks fabulous. God has u here for a reason. Sharing your story helps me. Stay strong. * Success' date=' Support, Blessings, and Prayers coming your way*[/quote']

I was told by others, I did not need it . And 2 make sure I stick with it. Make sure you exercise or I will have hanging skin. I have PCOS. I have tried on my own. If I did not have 2 have it I would would not. Im on metforin and blood pressure pills. Im ready 2 stop taking all this mess. I tune people out. They are not paying for it. I stop explaining "WHY". I stay Quiet. Im not doing this for people. Im doing this for me. Our weight lost and nice bodies will speak for us. I've learn not 2 tell my hopes and dreams 2 everyone . Everyone will not be happy for u. You deserve happiness.

* confetti coming your way* start celebrating your new life*