Rude Comments!

[astambo 9]

I was talking to my "friend" about my upcoming sleeve surgery. She was so negative and kept reiterating how I "could die" from surgery. Then she kept telling me how miserable I would be after surgery bc I could never eat normal again. In the same breath, she made a comment saying, "I mean if I could get WLS and have it covered by insurance I would probably do it too." why are people so negative and nasty?!?! Ugh!

[kmbrlycool 214]

She is just jealous and inconsiderate. Pay her no attention

[Wolfgirl1978 256]

Yup....jealous

[rhirhislims 4]

It is called jealousy my friend! I had a best friend, she the vertical sleeve done April of 2011. It definitely perked my interest because everyone always thought we were sisters cause we looked so much alike including the yoyo roller coaster ride our weight took. I figured if it worked for her it has to work for me. I started asking her all the questions I could think of and at first she was ok then she started to get irritated with me and wanted nothing to do with me as my surgery date got closer. Then the day I had surgery I texted her and said hey do you know any good ways to help get rid of the gas? She said- I had no clue you were having surgery ( even after I had told her the date numerous times) then said FYI just keep walking it helps with the gas. Then poof the week after surgery she wouldn't return my calls texts nothing- I am four months out of surgery now and still have not heard from her. I hope that you have close friends that no matter how you change throughout this life changing experience that they will stick by your side. It is sad but as you start lookin good and your confidence is back you will realize how many people will treat you differently- some not so good but then others will be great and you will meet a lot more good people- like on here:)

[gmanbat 5,889]

I was talking to my "friend"

The " " pretty well sums it up. Just add her to the weight you are going to lose.

[Wolfgirl1978 256]

It is called jealousy my friend! I had a best friend' date=' she the vertical sleeve done April of 2011. It definitely perked my interest because everyone always thought we were sisters cause we looked so much alike including the yoyo roller coaster ride our weight took. I figured if it worked for her it has to work for me. I started asking her all the questions I could think of and at first she was ok then she started to get irritated with me and wanted nothing to do with me as my surgery date got closer. Then the day I had surgery I texted her and said hey do you know any good ways to help get rid of the gas? She said- I had no clue you were having surgery ( even after I had told her the date numerous times) then said FYI just keep walking it helps with the gas. Then poof the week after surgery she wouldn't return my calls texts nothing- I am four months out of surgery now and still have not heard from her. I hope that you have close friends that no matter how you change throughout this life changing experience that they will stick by your side. It is sad but as you start lookin good and your confidence is back you will realize how many people will treat you differently- some not so good but then others will be great and you will meet a lot more good people- like on here:)[/quote']

Wow!!!! That's pretty sad. I would expect more support from a best friend who went through the surgery before me. This amazes me!

[Lissa 2,631]

I've had a couple of friends do the disappearing act as my weight has disappeared. It sucks, but it shows THEIR insecurity and jealousy. I suspect a couple more are going the same way before this is all done, especially one who keeps telling me how great I look at that I shouldn't lose any more weight. I still weigh close to 250 and have about 60 more pounds to hit goal...I'm not done.

What has surprised me even more is the people who are suddenly dieting and exercising since I've started sharing my journey on my FB page!

[waistnaway 32]

I can totally relate to this. I find that as a rule women are vicious and jealous creatures. I was sleeved on 4/11/12 and began my journey in Sept 2011. I have lost 80# since then. Last week my husband and I saw a couple that we haven't seen since last fall. The woman said " I didn't recognize you with short hair." Seriously--- my haircut is all that is different?? My husband finally saw firsthand what I had been telling him. You just have to ignore and keep on keepin on.

[rhirhislims 4]

Haha Lissa, you are so right! Since all the ladies in my office started realizing how my weight was disappearing and knew about the surgery they all joined weight watchers and some of them even started going to work out classes together- I have been with the same ladies for almost 3 years and we always brought in sweets and goodies and NO ONE ever started a diet trend lol now it's almost as if the are obsessed constantly asking- "so how much have you lost now" like it's a game haha I just laugh now.

[PEvette 297]

She told you the truth in the last statement...she would do it to if she had courage....those kind of people I let what they say go in one ear and out the other...if you are motivated to do something permanent about your health issues, you will do....whether insurance will pay or not....

I'm stepping out on faith and hope, I am paying for mines out of pocket...enough is enough, I'm going to do something about my health (again) and this is permanent....something the lapband did not do for me...

[coops 1,790]

Yea, unfortunately, women can be mean and jealous! I don't like this aspect of our kind!!

I have too have experienced this first hand ... I've told the story before, but I will tell again (now I find it amusing).

Just after my sleeve - nearly 2 yrs ago - a friend of mine saw how I was losing weight. She had just had a baby and was caring extra weight. OUt of the blue, like so many other stories, she became a diet and exerise 'expert'. She worked out 7 days a week and hardly ate a thing - her mother had her two kids for her to do this btw.

She kept telling me how many inches she was losing, howmany pounds she had lost and what size she was. This would be followed by a half hearted question about my own weight loss. She knew about my sleeve.

She used me as competition. She couldn't stand the thoought of me being smaller than her... I have ALWAYS been the biggest in our friendship group.

She even gave me her clothes that were 'too big' for her, these included several maternity trousers. She explained this by stating that: 'I know your problem area is your tummy, so these are perfect!' Implying that I looked pregnant!

Anyway, fast forward two years... here I am currently maintaining at my 72lb weight loss and I fit nicely into a UK14.

My friend however, has put a lot of weight back on and is now a good 14lbs if not more heavier than me and at least one clothing size bigger.

I have not said ANYTHING about her weight gain. I have been tempted to pay back her back handed compliments, but I am being the bigger -metaphorically of course - person!

Try to ignore comments with negative undertones and outright negative elements... this is your experience. This is your time to get healthy, fit and happy.... bugger everyone else!!

Good luck to you ... =]

[ikwa 13]

my best friend was thin but she was really scared to lose me to surgery. She kept asking questions too. I think its more out of live and concern the negative comments. My other best friend is my husband who didn't like that I was having surgery but once I decide to do something I do it. He has changed his heart and mind about it and sees how good it has been for the whole family. He has lost weight with me without the surgery because I changed. Instead of resturant eating we now go for walks in the park.

I think your friend my be insecure but having confidence to stick with something good for you hopefully she will see the posative in your decision. Nothing that changes anf grows in nature dies that is the same with relationships.

[Bypassjourney 88]

I haven't told many people about my surgery. But I told one lady that I knew well at church a couple of months after my surgery because she is overweight and she was asking me about how I was losing my weight. Her husband works at the same company as I do so I knew her insurance would cover it. So I just felt it was right to tell her about the surgery. I said "I had WLS". Her reply "oh, my doctor said I am not near big enough for that". Mind you she is actually bigger than I was before surgery. I just replied "oh you would be surprised what they cover". Now when she sees me, she doesn't even speak to me.

What it boils down to is I did this for me and nobody else. These less-than-true friends getting out of my life will leave room for new real friends.

[FishingNurse 1,210]

I have learned to ignore the negative nellies. You are taking charge of your health and life. Good for you!

[thinmymind 107]

My surgery is next week and I am going out to lunch with my best friend, for what I assume is the last time. A huge part of me wants to tell her, but I am not in the mood for the questions. So far, the only person that knows is my husband, and he is so supportive, I don't feel like the potential for negative energy at this point. BUT, I can't stand the lie that I have told her about where I am going next week. She is thin and will ultimately be happy and supportive of me as I lose.