Mentoring And Nervous

[LindaS 316]

One of my close family members has started the process of getting sleeved. I was sleeved 9 months ago, so she has talked to me quite a bit about the process, and I went with her to the initial informational meeting. She has asked me to attend her first meeting with the surgeon as well.

I'm happy for her. Her health has been deteriorating, and I know weight loss will help. She is worried about her heart, and it was her cardiologist that first suggested she look into weight loss. Nine months ago, when I had my own weight loss, she had declared herself too old for anything like that, but her health has deteriorated since then and much of it is weight-related.

I'm also worried. I've had a pretty smooth process. I have never vomited, and I've only felt overly full a couple of times. I didn't have the health issues she has had. I'm worried that she will be upset if everything doesn't go as smoothly as my own surgery.

She doesn't have access to the internet, so she can't check out forums like this one. But she is going to the same surgeon group that I went to, so we can both attend the face-to-face support meetings together.

I just want to make sure that I stay in a supportive role and not become irritating for her. I know food plays a different role in her life than food does in mine. She is more connected to food than I am. She can cook and loves to cook. She has signature recipes that people clamor for -- I've never been a cook. I guess I'm worried she'll have buyer's remorse and end up blaming me at least in the short-term when she is on all liquids and can barely get a sip of Water in.

I know many of you have had family members that have been sleeved. How has that gone for all of you? How much of a time difference was there in surgeries? What struggles were there? What were the relationships? I'd love some tips!

[iegal 460]

How old is your family member? Did the surgeon tell her on the initial consult she was too old for VSG surgery? Sounds like she is scared and is looking for excuses to back out as many people do.

Ask her questions like - where will you be in two years (considering past history) if you do not seriously consider any type of WLS? Do everything with love and understanding. Hugs for loving your relative enough to be a support for her.

[alliegb3 112]

She may make some signature healthy dishes now... But you're right, it will b hard, I know if my aunt did this- she would flunk flying colors. food is so important to her. It's the dinner table that bonds her family and friends. But sometimes it isn't the act of eating- its of serving and bringing together. Having everyone happy and her feeling useful. My g-ma cannot cook to save her life, never could, but she will clean and do every dish in the house to contribute. As long as aunt has another outlet, she'll be ok. Maybe the psyche doc and nutritionist will see

[awesome62 3]

Sounds like you have a good perspective. I think you're being supportive and will be able to read her emotions. Hopefully through the support group she will recognize and accept the different ways people experience this weight loss. Having an emotional attachment to food makes it difficult so she's lucky to have you by her side.

PS. Its never too late to begin with technology. I hooked my mom up at 70 and trained her from long distance whenever she had problems. Forums like this might motivate her to give the internet a try. Fingers crossed for you and your family

[chitowngirl 885]

A good way to kick things off now, is to see if she is willing to tweak or create new sleeve friendly recipes. Suggest she start incorporating sleeve habbits now. Such as no soda, eating slow ect. Let her know what it's like and warn her that these Are new habbits that she will need to form, and the sooner she does the better.

[LindaS 316]

My family member is 63, and she self-declared herself too old. No doctor has told her she is too old, but she wasn't considering surgery until a doctor suggested it. As for technology, her husband thinks it is evil, so she won't be connecting online. She has started drinking Protein shakes as Meal Replacements. The big thing is that she needs to move more, but she has some knee problems that are keeping her from doing so. Thanks everyone for the advice and tips. I welcome more!

The woman is my mother-in-law, so I am nervous about it all. We have a good relationship, but she can hold a grudge too.

[awesome62 3]

I had knee problems last year and went to our public pool and walked in the Water for about 20 minutes. The water was above my waist and I was able to walk pain free. It really helped! The other idea I had was using a small pedal machine. It looks like the pedals of a bike but you can sit in an chair. I didn't need it because I was so successful with the pool. I had to get over the "I'm too big to be seen in public in a swimming suit." but it worked out well.