Inconsiderate Family

[LadyIvy 159]

I am sorry, I absolutely have to vent with people that understand what I am going through. My family is being so inconsiderate. Ever since I have been able to eat solid foods again, I have taken healthy cooking to a whole new level. Last night I made black bean quinoa and MD shrimp cakes (instead of crab). It is frustrating that I can only have a couple of bites so I want them to be really healthy and yummy. I make the same amounts as I used to, but have enough for my husband to take some to work and have a little left over for me to have a warm, healthy lunch the next day. Recently, my family has begun arguing about who gets to eat what I don't. First of all, I'm getting really sick of that. It makes me feel like if I actually do manage to eat more than a few bites, someone in my family is missing out. Even though all I can fit in is Protein and I make them full meals. Then after dinner, my husband has taken to taking all the remaining high protein stuff for his lunch and leaving a few left over Beans or something. I didn't say anything because I make healthy food for them too, and just took to eating the bit of beans or whatever is left over the next day. Then they started even eating those for Snacks later that night! I mean WTH! I cook the food (and put A LOT of effort into making all the local restaurants look like fools). Then they don't stop to think about what I am going to do the next day. After the second or third time it happened I said "hey, how come I don't get any leftovers for tomorrow?". I got an oh, I'm sorry. Then a week later it started again even worse. I mean "COME ON!". I already don't feel normal and it is hard enough to have really good food in front of you that you can only get a couple of bites of. Then to have that eaten off your plate and all the rest taken away too. I don't know how I feel. I just know I am angry and tired of being treated like I am different.

[LoriRay 27]

Girl you need to say something to them. My guess is they dont even realize they are doing it. I would also set aside a lunch for yourself the next day before you even serve the food. Just take part of it and pack it in the fridge. That way they can fight over whats left and you arent feeling so frustrated. Make sure they know thats MOMMAS lunch and hands off

[GivingItMyAll 168]

I was thinking the same thing, LoriRay. LadyIvy, before you put the food on the table (or announce that its ready) put aside the portion that you want for lunch the next day. Maybe have a special container that's hands off to everyone else. I would be frustrated in your situation as well. I bought a box of Atkins Advantage Caramel Nut Rolls and dh is eating them like they're snickers bars.

[smileen 17]

My daughter in law has 5 kids she has a special diet so she puts leftovers etc. in a container for the next day and labels it mom's hands off!! seems to work for her.

[mommyinneed 25]

Yes i would pack my lunch before you even serve! You do all the cooking and put tender love and care into their meals. The least you should do is pack your own. I would put a sticky on it that said " do not touch or you will have sandwiches for a month"!!! Lol

[M_Johnson 43]

I started putting aside my lunch for the next day before putting it out for dinner. My family is the same way, oh mom isn't going to eat it.... Ugh

[LadyIvy 159]

That is what I am going to have to do. We wound up having a long "discussion" about consideration. It feels so wrong to even have that talk because my husband is usually so great to me. I still don't know how to explain how this entire situation makes me feel.

[rodswife 155]

My family is the same way so what I started doing is buying stuff for me and putting it in my own cabinet that they are not allowed to touch. I even put my food away in my own container. They don't realize how limited we are right now with things we can eat. I'm sure it's not intentional but it does get old and it pisses me off too. You are not alone. Hugs.

[fluffylibra30 323]

My hubs did that with me tonight with watermelon ( I can pound that stuff lol) he ate almost half a one himself. he said "I figured you wouldn't want all the sugar"

I saved my carbs for that dang watermelon HUMRPH!!

[LindaS 316]

My family still doesn't quite get it. I buy foods that I can eat like the 15 calorie popsicles, but by the time I am interested in eating one (sometimes weeks later), they are all gone. I've never said the popsicles were JUST mine, but the other members of my family have lots of other treats that I don't get, so I find it frustrating that they eat the only things I can eat and then don't mention we are out.

I've set aside cupboard space and a drawer in the fridge for *my* food. For the most part, it works. It doesn't help though that some of the foods are tasty. They like to steal my Atkins Advantage Protein bars. I have four kids. It usually starts off with one asking. If I say yes to one child, suddenly they are all demanding I let them have one too, which wipes out my box of Protein Bars. I've started saying no.

In addition to my new food issues, my middle daughter was just diagnosed as lactose intolerant. So we are also stocking and stashing her foods. I also have a hard time remembering what she can and can't eat. cheese is a big staple in our home, especially with my new diet, and I tend to forget she can't eat it.

So while I whine about my family not thinking about my diet needs, I realize I do the same thing to my daughter. It's not that I don't think of her, but it is hard to plan a meal for 4 normal people and two special yet different dietary needs in the course of a busy family day. We are still learning what she can and can't eat (she can have some cheeses), and I'm not always up on the latest developments in how she reacted to a certain food. There is definitely some flux going on, and we are also experimenting with the lactate pills and finding the lactose free stuff that she likes the taste of....

[LadyIvy 159]

My husband said last night, "well you have a whole cabinet of foods I can't even have!" I asked him what was in the cabinet and he realized all that is in there is Protein Drinks and powders (as well as Decaf tea, which he very well CAN have, he just doesn't want it). Then he says, "why are we always arguing about food all of a sudden?" I asked him, "when do we argue about food?" He said it was all the time. When I asked him to tell me a few of the instances, there were only two. They both came back to this consideration thing that has me so pi&&sed off. As a matter of fact, they were both part of the same argument. The fact that in his brain this has become an "all encompassing" and according to him, "nearly constant" problem tells me something. Even though he now realizes it was only two times (over 3 weeks) and about the same exact thing, I now realize there is obviously a deeper issue that I need to figure out. Something is really bugging him about all of this and I am not sure what it is. He is trying to be supportive. We are generally very good communicators, so I don't know if he even knew it until last night. I have so much going on right now, I knew there were going to be relationship adjustments, but what a PITA!

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

There is a positive side to this. He really seems to like what you are making. My suggestion would be, address the situation as, "I am really happy that you are enjoying the healthier options I am preparing now, so I am going to make a bit more of them." then when you prepare your dishes prepare a bit more than you do currently & instead of putting everything on one plate or in one bowl invest a little into portion size containers, an appropriate size for him & a potion size for you. Then if he goes into the frige he knows that he can at will grab the "his size" container without reprocussion & he also knows the smaller container is set aside for you to enjoy later rather than just being a plate of something in the fridge that taste good & is convient.

We husbands really want our wives to be happy, we simply don't think thing through sometimes. If we're hungry and see food, all we see is a solution to our hunger. We really are that simple... Kinda hard to believe, huh.

[LadyIvy 159]

There is a positive side to this. He really seems to like what you are making. My suggestion would be, address the situation as, "I am really happy that you are enjoying the healthier options I am preparing now, so I am going to make a bit more of them." then when you prepare your dishes prepare a bit more than you do currently & instead of putting everything on one plate or in one bowl invest a little into portion size containers, an appropriate size for him & a potion size for you. Then if he goes into the frige he knows that he can at will grab the "his size" container without reprocussion & he also knows the smaller container is set aside for you to enjoy later rather than just being a plate of something in the fridge that taste good & is convient.

We husbands really want our wives to be happy, we simply don't think thing through sometimes. If we're hungry and see food, all we see is a solution to our hunger. We really are that simple... Kinda hard to believe, huh.

No, men being simple is not hard to believe. I usually think more like a man than a woman. Simple is good. Logical is even better. I am not the type of person to make considerations based on emotion. However, it is obvious that there is a problem when a small issue like this becomes an all encompassing huge one like it did last night. I have a definite plan for the future so that this does not occur again, but I never wanted there to be a "my food and your food" situation in my house. Everyone deserves the exact same right to healthy food.