Warning... Debbie Downer

[tbstacks 10]

The subject pretty much says it.

I am on day 11 post op, and I've lost 17 lbs. I am ecstatic and love putting my looser fitting garments on. I can't lie, I love the attention I'm getting, but I'm not getting it from the people who it would mean the most coming from. My husband has been athletic, fit, and relatively healthy all 26 years of his life. I, on the other hand, have gone through the ups and downs we are all familiar with here on the boards. I think after I healed for the most part from the surgery, he has not had any way to empathize with what I'm experiencing coming down. I can't blame him, but I just feel alone.

I've tried staying busy all week and getting out at least once a day to take the edge off this seemingly depressed state I'm in. Nothing seems to help. Everywhere I go, there is food being thrown in my face. I visually indulge, along with my tactile and savoring senses, but there is a huge dread coming with actually sitting down to eat. It isn't a pleasant experience for me anymore, which is probably the best thing that could ever happen to me. To be honest, I think I'm grieving.

I have not been on any pain meds since day 4, so I don't feel like I am in a prescription fog. I feel like I am fighting a real issue here, and i am allowin myself to become ill at everyone in my path. I'm on the edge, and I don't want to start on anti depressants. Been there, felt numb to any emotion, even the exuberant happy ones...

So, any advice?

[kczar 166]

Sorry you're having a blue period. Although I haven't been sleeved yet, I've read a lot here about the dumping of hormones associated with this surgery. Do you think that could be part of the reason? Encountering food you can't have would have to be tough at this stage.

Your body is still recovering from a major procedure. Take it easy on yourself. So basically I can't offer you any advice but can give you a bit of sympathy!

[tbstacks 10]

Kzcar, that is something I had thought about. I actually went to an endocrinologist pre surgery for a complete work up, and he said all of my levels were great and normal. He did want me to come back three-four months after surgery to see if they've changed.

[Webchickadee 716]

It's early days yet tbstacks! I know, every day feels like it drags on forever and it doesn't seem to be getting better. But you VERY slowing are improving and healing. And in another week or two, you will probably feel more positive.

I am 3 weeks out today and the first 2 weeks were really tough. liquids are boring.....the weird taste in your mouth can drive you insane.....energy is low....changes are happening but not enough that people's jaws are dropping (they will in time though!).....you hubby might be trying not to focus on your weight so much to help you "normalize" (a positive way to look at it, no?).....and OF COURSE you're grieving the loss of food!

But in a few months, when you're stable and back on solid foods and have figured out what works and doesn't work for you....how much you can eat in a regular meal...now much Protein and liquid works for you.....how to vary your diet to keep things interesting rather than a chore....it will seem so much better!

There's a good chance you don't need meds for anti-depression right now (though if you feel strongly about it, you should see your primary care physician). Your energy is low due to the low calorie intake. Perhaps a B12 (sublingual) supplement daily will help with that, and maybe you need some Iron supplements as well? As soon as you can start doing a bit of exercise (even just walking now is very good!), it should help elevate your mood. The natural endorphins released by your body during exercise can do wonders to help combat depression and really make you feel alive again!

Later on, you can try low-impact aerobics such as swimming or water-aerobics. Exercise bike is also good if you're not comfortable getting outside and jogging/running or even fast-walking.

And of course, as you start to add "mushies" and find out what your new stomach's actual boundaries are, it will be a daily experiment to find out how your new eating life will be! That should keep you busy for a while.

Remember, you've just gone through a MAJOR surgery! It takes time for the body to shake off the after-effects of the anaesthetic, the shock from the surgery, the stomach needs to heal, your metabolism is trying to survive (right now it thinks you're starving with the sudden drop in calories), and the fat you're losing is also releasing alot of hormones into your body in a flood and causing mood changes as well.

There's alot going on inside of you!

Hang in there. Things will "normalize" in the next couple of months, a little bit at a time. Until one day you'll wake up and it will feel "normal" again. Only a new better, slimmer, healthier "normal"!

[Writergirl 230]

Yes. Get yourself to a therapist who works with bariatric patients or addictions, or go to a support group. I'm not normally depressed, but I swore that after this surgery I would do whatever it takes to be ok. I've had about 4 visits with a therapist and 2 visits with a person who has worked out better for me (addiction specialist), who is just available as-needed. It's been a huge comfort to me to know someone is there if I need to just grieve or vent. This is a HUGE change in your life, and no one else can know what you're going through. Everyone in my life wanted me to just be cheerful and optimistic, and I wanted to punch them. I just wanted my feelings acknowledged! You are entitled to whatever you're feeling right now, but you may need to find someone who can help you through them. Good luck! It gets better!!!

[MKambalimath 92]

Hi TB! What you're going through is very normal. I'll be 6 weeks out on Wednesday. I went through the same things. I felt embarrassed because I too was grieving the loss of food. Eating still doesn't have any real pleasure for me, and there are times when I get frustrated, especially because I've been in a "stall" the last couple weeks, but can usually take a walk by myself or read and it passes. I try to sit down now with my husband and son for dinner, but even though I'm trying to go slow, I'm still done way before them. Needless to say, I've become the dish doer, lol. Before, I couldn't stand to sit there with them with my tablespoon of cottage cheese. There are so many emotional issues that come along with the surgery that you don't really expect before you have it. Just know that things will get better, week by week. Good luck and take it easy on yourself

[alliegb3 112]

My nut gave me some work on the five stages of grieving and at first I didn't understand. But I do now, it was like losing a close friend, that I loved and relied on. One that was always there and has been taken from me, by my own doings. Keep your chin up, find comfort in exercising and meeting people and going to a support group.. Just wait on the husband to come around. You are a beautiful woman and unfortunately u need time to heal and come to the new you (I know I hate things that take 'time'!) you'll do great, love

[readyforachange 51]

Hi TB,

I always get depressed after ANY surgery. Fortunately, WLS was one time I didn't get depressed. I also agree that the first 2 weeks are the hardest. You feel yucky. It's a little scary figuring out this new way of life. I was fortunate that I had a relative go through this 3 years ago. I see how happy they are and the great success they have experienced w WLS.

On June 6, I'll be 4 months out. I've gone from 220 to 184. If I never lost another ounce, I'd still be overjoyed! I feel so much better and look so much better. Keep looking ahead to those goals in your life.

Yes, it is a bit awkward eating out w someone who doesn't know you've had surgery.....or even if they do know. I'm full in a few bites. I've learned to play w my food and push it around my plate to make it look like I'm eating. It also changes how I view eating. It is a bit alarming to see how much others overeat. I'm so glad I'm not there anymore.

Keep on this board. It won't be long till we hear from you saying how much better you are doing. Give yourself time. xoxo

[Disneytikifan 21]

I think some remorse over not eating is normal. I have a good friend who is italian. He told me that he used to eat a whole plate of lasagna and say as he loosened his belt"ah that's a meal". He told me he no longer enjoys food and when he gets depressed he looks in the mirror and says @@@@@ suck it up and put your big boy pants on. I have left out all of the 4 letter words he sprinkled in but I think support is helpful. My buddies tend to give support with a healthy dose of profanity. For the ladies maybe find a therapist or lady to talk to. It helps.