Were Any Of Your Family/friends Against You Getting Sleeved?

[thehappycat 91]

So far I've told my fiancé, his parents, my sister and my parents about wanting to get sleeved. I'm waiting until I get a surgery date before I tell anyone else. Everyone has been really supportive so far (my fiancé promised to take some time off of work to take care of me after the surgery), but my mom doesn't want me to get the sleeve.

She says that she doesn't think it will help me to lose weight. Which doesn't make any sense. She also wants me to keep dieting, which I've been doing for years with no success. I've tried to give her all the info about the sleeve so she knows how it works and how it's going to help me, but it doesn't seem to click with her.

Anyone else in a similar situation?

[futureskinnypants 193]

I had a friend tell me i should get the lap band b/c in the future i want kids, and wont be able to have kids with the sleeve. Which we all know is complete BS I educated her and now she wishes me luck.

My boyfriend was/is supportive but has thrown in there- "I think you can just lose it on your own, you have before" ...i told him yes but...I gained it back. i need something permanent and I don't want to wait another 27 years to fix it. I want to fix myself and live my life the way i've never lived it.

You don't HAVE to explain anything to anyone. But, if you want to.....tell them how you feel. Then do what you want you know what is right for YOU. Maybe your mom just isn't educated enough....try to tell her the process and show her the forum ...and some "after" shots of some of our fellow sleevers. Try to help her understand.

I haven't told many people either....i will after ...maybe not sure if i want to announce it on FB but I will eventually tell people i just don't care to hear their opinions. I have my mind made up and the important people know.

Everyone will be supportive when they see you all skinny and hot!!

Good luck

[2bsmallagain 156]

Your mom is probably just worried about you and wants you to be safe. In the end you have to make a decision that is good for you and will help you be healthy. I have family that is totally against WLS at all because they think it is just not safe. Well being obese is not safe either. I did for me so I will be around when my daughter gets married and has kids. I want to be thin and healthy at her wedding. Do what is best for you that is what you have to live with in the end. If dieting was that easy then this forum would not exist.

[thehappycat 91]

I'm trying to get my mom to come to a WLS seminar with me at the center where I want to get my surgery, but we both work, so it's hard to get our schedules to line up. I went over all of the information I had for her and answered all of her questions, but she's still not on board.

Then, she apparently talked to my aunt, who used to be a nurse, and she wasn't okay with WLS so now my mom is even more against it. I'm definitely going to get the surgery if I can, but it would be nice if my parents were supportive.

[RawrrAshleex3 137]

My mom and grandmom have been yelling at me about my weight the past couple years and were very supportive about the wls. Now I'm having a hard time because I'm not cleared for real food yet and my grandmother keeps hounding me to "just eat something already" and it's hard because I live with her... It's all I hear every day. Its your life, no one can make those decisions except you. As for ney sayers, theyll see it in the end. Friend of my moms has always been EXTREMELY anti wls, now that I'm doing it, she's considering it (: for some people either they're just skinny and don't get it, or they're overweight themselves and jealous/don't want to be the fat one standing.

[hadouni 301]

My mom has had WLS so she was all for it when I told her. One of my girlfriends was totally opposed to the idea (she wanted me to try some hormone therapy she's doing and mind you, she's had some fairly major Lipo surgery and is a regular botox user!) but others have been supportive. I've told very few people outside family and very close girlfriends and the gal who waxes my legs!

[Anjelika 14]

My husband and my mother are against it. H just thinks I'm being "lazy" and could dole the weight on my own (LOL oh, ok! Guess I shoulda figured that out when I was a kid). My mother is just worried about the actual surgery and is encouraging me to lose it on my own. Because of these responses, I just don't tell anyone anymore.

[Willow216 91]

These stories are heartbreaking! When your own family or close friends can't understand or support you. Regardless of how they feel about it they should support you anyway on your decision. My family wasn't so thrilled either but they stood by me and have seen my changes (mentally as well as physically) I have dieted for two decades and went up and down in weight till I hit my 30's then it was a slow downhil till 250lbs I still dieted and tried everything, this was the only thing that actually helped and made me feel like I didn't have to always be worried about what I ate and how I ate. I finally feel Free and in control of my life and regardless of how I got here I'm happy. I so wish I could have done this in my 20's my life would've have been so much different.

Hooray for all of you!!! Enjoy your Life, you only live it Once!! Hugz to you all I support you!...

[xlr8ahead 40]

My husband and my mother are against it. H just thinks I'm being "lazy" and could dole the weight on my own (LOL oh' date=' ok! Guess I shoulda figured that out when I was a kid). My mother is just worried about the actual surgery and is encouraging me to lose it on my own. Because of these responses, I just don't tell anyone anymore.[/quote']

KNow where your coming from.im not telling any one other than my partner whos not supportive of it.i dont want anyone judging me.its no ones buisness other than mine.an thin people just think its lazy.ive spoken to a few people.just to c what they thnk.its best dont go there lol

[Anjelika 14]

KNow where your coming from.im not telling any one other than my partner whos not supportive of it.i dont want anyone judging me.its no ones buisness other than mine.an thin people just think its lazy.ive spoken to a few people.just to c what they thnk.its best dont go there lol

Yeah, that's too bad that we can't have that support system from the ones who matter to us, tho'.

[BeanieandRosie'smom 31]

It must be awful to not have that family support! I wouldnt have been able to get it! My mom has encouraged me to do the sleeve (and is footing the bill!) My dad is supportive, mainly because I think he's worried about my health. He was a little concerned that I thought WLS was a panacea (I know better after a failed lap band!) but he wants me to do it! My husband is so laid back. He is supportive of anything that makes me happy. To say I don't deserve him is an understatement since I am the nagger/moody/grump of the year!

Even though my immediate family is supportive, I am not telling my extended family. I know theyd be against it and I didn't tell them about my lap band.

I had to tell my boss since I'm taking time off, and she was not supportive, and neither were my coworkers. It's hard when they have no concept of what the sleeve is or really WLS in general. They don't think I'll be safe, and just don't understand. Mainly because they are naturally stick thin!

Good luck to everyone. Don't let anyone get you down---or as my mom says "Don't let anyone steal your joy!" this is your decision for YOU. You know the risks, this is a choice you will live with, and no one else! My husband keeps telling me to ignore others and not psych myself out!

Hugs!

Erika

[LindaS 316]

I didn't hesitate to tell people, but when I first started talking about it most told me that I didn't need to do it. My BMI was 40, and people were telling me, "you're not that big."

I talked to an aunt who had had bypass surgery, and she said I didn't need weight loss surgery.

Others were surprised about my choice. Co-workers wanted to know about the liquid phase. One asked why I couldn't just do that and lose weight. My answer was that I'd never be able to maintain a liquid diet without the WLS. I'd cheat.

My mom absolutely thought I didn't need the surgery, but I knew she is delusional when it comes to weight issues. She isn't overweight herself, but my dad weighed over 400 pounds for most of my life until he died, and she was an enabler for his weight.

My husband was VERY nervous about it. He was really worried that something bad would happen. He was worried about losing me. I knew he was nervous, but it is only recently that he really told me how he felt 9 months ago when I was determined to do it. He was supportive. He told me he would love me no matter my size, but if I felt I needed to do the WLS, he'd support me. Now, I'm learning he wasn't as on board as I thought because of his own concerns and worry, but he bit his tongue to support me. (I am a very lucky wife.)

My kids didn't think I was obese, and they weren't sure why I was doing it.

Now, 9 months later, and 72 pounds less, everyone else finally sees that I needed this surgery. My kids have even had the experience of looking at pictures of me from a year ago and finally seeing that I was obese. They never saw me as obese until I was smaller. It was a really surprising moment for them to look back at those pictures of me and finally see how big I used to be.

I think the unsupportive family and friends comes from the blinders people have on as well as their own worries about losing you. My kids never would have called me obese and didn't think of me as fat until I lost weight. As a kid, I never thought of my dad as obese even though his waist was 60 inches. It was normal to me.

It may help to look at this a bit differently -- it isn't that your family and friends are unsupportive of your idea of having WLS. It is that they are supportive of you the way you are now, and they are worried about you being hurt by what they see as an unnecessary surgery.

My husband has noticed and commented that the biggest changes in me have been emotional not physical. I am happier because I don't have this negative dialogue in my head all the time telling me that I can't. I don't have the mortifying experiences in dressing rooms anymore. I don't have to worry about how I will look or if I can do something. I know I can. I am happier with myself, and it colors everything.

[Willow216 91]

I didn't hesitate to tell people, but when I first started talking about it most told me that I didn't need to do it. My BMI was 40, and people were telling me, "you're not that big."

I talked to an aunt who had had bypass surgery, and she said I didn't need weight loss surgery.

Others were surprised about my choice. Co-workers wanted to know about the liquid phase. One asked why I couldn't just do that and lose weight. My answer was that I'd never be able to maintain a liquid diet without the WLS. I'd cheat.

My mom absolutely thought I didn't need the surgery, but I knew she is delusional when it comes to weight issues. She isn't overweight herself, but my dad weighed over 400 pounds for most of my life until he died, and she was an enabler for his weight.

My husband was VERY nervous about it. He was really worried that something bad would happen. He was worried about losing me. I knew he was nervous, but it is only recently that he really told me how he felt 9 months ago when I was determined to do it. He was supportive. He told me he would love me no matter my size, but if I felt I needed to do the WLS, he'd support me. Now, I'm learning he wasn't as on board as I thought because of his own concerns and worry, but he bit his tongue to support me. (I am a very lucky wife.)

My kids didn't think I was obese, and they weren't sure why I was doing it.

Now, 9 months later, and 72 pounds less, everyone else finally sees that I needed this surgery. My kids have even had the experience of looking at pictures of me from a year ago and finally seeing that I was obese. They never saw me as obese until I was smaller. It was a really surprising moment for them to look back at those pictures of me and finally see how big I used to be.

I think the unsupportive family and friends comes from the blinders people have on as well as their own worries about losing you. My kids never would have called me obese and didn't think of me as fat until I lost weight. As a kid, I never thought of my dad as obese even though his waist was 60 inches. It was normal to me.

It may help to look at this a bit differently -- it isn't that your family and friends are unsupportive of your idea of having WLS. It is that they are supportive of you the way you are now, and they are worried about you being hurt by what they see as an unnecessary surgery.

My husband has noticed and commented that the biggest changes in me have been emotional not physical. I am happier because I don't have this negative dialogue in my head all the time telling me that I can't. I don't have the mortifying experiences in dressing rooms anymore. I don't have to worry about how I will look or if I can do something. I know I can. I am happier with myself, and it colors everything.

This is a fantastic story! Your family is awesome you are very Blessed!