Will I Always Have The Fear Of Being Judged?

[justmeandmysleeve 91]

I am a newbie to the site! My sleeve is scehdule for July 19th!!! I am overwhelmed but so many emotions, but here are the fears that are driving me crazy;

• Telling my younger brother- he thinks surgery is the "easy way" to deal with obesity
  
• Telling my boss and friends at work, they'll be watching my every move!
  
• The way my weight loss will change my relationship with my husband
  
• The way my new lifestyle will change my relationship with my husband
  
• What if after I loose the weight, I STILL cannot have a family?
  
• Will I be able to sucessfully complete the 3 week liquid pre-op diet?
  
• Being able to face the ugly truth once I take away ability ot overeat....why do I use food as my addiction?
  

I know I am not the only one with fears. What have you done about yours?

Thank you for the feedback!

[2bsmallagain 156]

I did not tell anyone except for my husband, daughter and a close cousin. The "easy way"? There is no easy way to lose weight. The surgery is not an easy way by any means. At times it will make you cry, depressed and extremely frustrated. The good news is you will lose weight and be healthier. It also gets easier with each passing day. I would not change what I have done for anything. You will have to change your lifestyle and work at it still. It is a total life adjustment. People that call the it easy way have no clue what it is like. The relationship with your husband should not change if it is strong and he supports you in this journey. I talked with my husband about every step, every fear, and everything I will have to change. He is supportive and has helped me make the right decisions for my eating and shopping for what I need. The 3 week diet is going the be torture I am not going to lie. You will fail at times and want to quit at times. Just get past any mistake you make and start over do not give up hope. The addiction is a problem we all have or we would not have the surgery. This will be something you will have to deal with on an emotional level and try to not replace it with another bad habit. Replace it with a healthy alternative like running or working out to relieve stress.

I had all these fears too and as far as having kids you are only going to increase your chances with weight loss it definitely will not make the situation worse.

Good luck with your journey and God bless you.

I am a newbie to the site! My sleeve is scehdule for July 19th!!! I am overwhelmed but so many emotions, but here are the fears that are driving me crazy;

• Telling my younger brother- he thinks surgery is the "easy way" to deal with obesity
  
• Telling my boss and friends at work, they'll be watching my every move!
  
• The way my weight loss will change my relationship with my husband
  
• The way my new lifestyle will change my relationship with my husband
  
• What if after I loose the weight, I STILL cannot have a family?
  
• Will I be able to sucessfully complete the 3 week liquid pre-op diet?
  
• Being able to face the ugly truth once I take away ability ot overeat....why do I use food as my addiction?
  

I know I am not the only one with fears. What have you done about yours?

Thank you for the feedback!

[MinaT 669]

Why must they know the exact surgery you are having? Did you do all your pre-op testing? I have a hernia and adhesions and 2 polyps that need to be removed. I've had previous surgeries and my insides are a bit of a mess. I'm going in to have those removed. Enough said. I'm not telling anyone but my parents, husband son and ONE friend.

3 week liquid pre-op diet...I started a Protein shake diet, my doctor thinks I should lose weight before I have surgery, enough said.

You will not know if you can or can't have a family until you lose the weight, so you have to look at what is right in front of you, the immediate. Life is scary and we are all afraid of things but fearing something that you have no control over right now, is not worth the anxiety (and binge eating or overeating because of fears it brings on).

Take one thing at a time.

I have a lot of fears, my fears are ridiculous, will I poop during surgery, will the drain make me want to gag, will I be able to afford new clothes once I lose weight.

I have big fears too did I remember to pay the bills that are due this week while I'll be gone, do I have enough money to pay the bills. Will there be complications?

My husband is an eater and a muncher and our relationship has changed over the past 7 months. He needs to keep up with me a bit, I can't just sit around, I need to move, he needs to move with me. He's accepted me and loved me at this weight, but I haven't loved myself. He needs to adjust to the new me, just like I have to adjust, and life has to change for the family. I can't take care of them, if I can't take care of myself. His habits will change because I have been cooking different and I am making him and my son become more active. Your relationship with your husband will change, but it doesn't mean it will be for the worst. That's another fear you need to let go of, and take it one step at a time.

Long term fears, will I lose all this weight to end up still feeling insecure. Will I still have this pleasant disposition (hahaha - i'm quite the cranky person) after I lose weight. Will I do all this to end up having a stroke or kidney failure due to the lupus. These fears....I have zero control over right now. I let it go. What happens happens...

I'm taking one step at a time, fear will eat me up. I spent since 1999 sick with one thing or another and battling my weight, I was embarrassed by my weight enough I refused to shop on weekends because I might run into someone I know.

Take one step at a time, spend each day working on giving yourself some positive feedback, and figuring out where you have issues with food, if you don't chart your food, do so now, chew slowly, get your 64 ounces of Water in, and realize you are worth it, you can do it and you will take each thing as it comes. Get your husband involved with the new you, make changes together and the transition won't be so hard.

I wish you nothing but the best and there are so many people that share the same fears as you, and there's so much support here, I'm sure others can relate to how you are feeling too. I just had to give it up because it was eating me alive.

[justmeandmysleeve 91]

Thank you ladies. Great advice. I am going keep things confidential until I feel comfortable telling the outside world. I have only discussed in length with my parents, husband, 2 close friends and my sister-in-law.

I have another round of tests on Wednesday for pre-op; ultra sound, blood, etc. Keep me in your prayers so that hopefully I can keep my scheduled date of July 19th.

Not looking forward to the 3 week diet, but trying to start now with little changes. I made it through the grocery store today (with my husband) and we didn't buy any junk! A small victory, but baby steps are being made.

Did either of you join support groups or see a therapist?

Thanks again!

[2bsmallagain 156]

Thank you ladies. Great advice. I am going keep things confidential until I feel comfortable telling the outside world. I have only discussed in length with my parents, husband, 2 close friends and my sister-in-law.

I have another round of tests on Wednesday for pre-op; ultra sound, blood, etc. Keep me in your prayers so that hopefully I can keep my scheduled date of July 19th.

Not looking forward to the 3 week diet, but trying to start now with little changes. I made it through the grocery store today (with my husband) and we didn't buy any junk! A small victory, but baby steps are being made.

Did either of you join support groups or see a therapist?

Thanks again!

I didn't join one but I have heard of a lot of people that have. It is personal preference. I use this board for my support lol. I have met people that I consider my friends and helps me get through the tough times.