SMMC chicas accountability log

[Rockin' Robyn 15]

Also looking back writing these last few days food I feel that I was being a little hard on myself. The “cheats” weren’t good but they could have been worse and if anything I’m not eating enough foods (that is the right foods) Maybe if I focused on eating more of the healthy foods instead of trying to starve myself I wouldn’t give in to those “cheats” as much.

Diane-

First of all...thanks for posting what you ate. I think it helps so much to see how other bandsters eat throughout the day, plus doesn't make me feel so bad, because in all actuality when we are beating ourselves up, what we are eating is NOTHING in comparason to the 5,000 or even more calories per day I was eating pre-band:faint: AND.....PLUS you are still losing weight! But I think what you said above sums it up for me in starting to log on here what I am eating. I am realizing I'm not eating all that much, but just making so-so choices on the actual foods I am eating.

[Rockin' Robyn 15]

ok guys I need some suggestions.

brkfst:skipped not hungry

water: I have had 48oz or more of Water today and also had ice tea

lunch: 12:40 mad myself have a Protein drink. not hungry

It is now 4:40 and still not hungry but know I need to eat tonight. Guess I'll do a Protein Drink and try some yogurt . Not to excited though cause I'm not hungry.

Cynthia-

Just keep riding the not hungry wave, and stick with those Protein drinks.....remember, the hunger will come back soon when the swelling goes down. Drink the Protein, even if you are just sipping 1/4 of your usual serving of one a little at a time. FF puddings...cottage cheese (can you have that yet?)...refried Beans from taco bell (yummm).....Keep up the good work!

[Rockin' Robyn 15]

Cate - Thankyou for your response. I have dieted to lower numbers before but not from as high as I'd gotten this time. Still a little part of me won't feel as if I've had any "real" success until I'm lower than I was the last time I seriously dieted down to the 170's 10 years ago.

I realize many of you have started from even higher levels and are still working to get lower than where I started. BUT you need to know it is YOU GUYS that are my inspiration. I look up to all of you and what you are accomplishing and only wish I could be as strong. I am more than confident that one day soon all of us will weigh between 130-160. And even though I seem much closer to that goal at 187 I can bet we will all get there in about the same time. In fact I will be shocked if one of you don't get there before me.

DITTO Girl!! You all are my inspiration as well.....I often wonder if I would have even made it this far if it weren't for the fantastic support I have gotten from each of you throughout this experience!

As for 130-160:eek: I can't even think that far ahead yet!! After being stuck in the 240's for 3 months, I just dream over and over about the 230's:p Being in the 1 somethings, although it sounds nice, I still don't have the confidence in myself to think to fathom or believe I will EVER be there. I guess my psyche still doesn't realize that I have lost almost 150 pounds......I keep telling it, but it keeps forgetting :omg:

[nolagirl2 0]

I wrote this yesterday when LBT was down:

Today I read Augusten Burroughs memoir Dry, which details his struggle with alcoholism. And I couldn't put it down. Even though I wasn't relating to his experiences, there was resonance in me. I'm a food addict.

Occasionally, I ignore this fact. But it doesn't go away. For the past month or so, I have been doing whatever I wanted - band or no band. I ate carbs and junk food (even fast food on two separate occasions - both times made me feel like hell). I didn't exercise (except maybe twice in the course of a month). I sat around and read, or watched tv. But I ate bad food, ate too much, ate too often, and didn't move unless I was going to the fridge.

So finally, about a week ago, I realized that I needed to stop this. I am only halfway (at most) through this process. I still have a good chunk of weight that I want to lose. So why did I stop trying?

In the course of that month, I gained 3 lbs. Luckily, I have since lost those 3 lbs, and 2 more to boot. I started eating only 3 meals a day (with option of 1-2 Snacks if necessary, but I try to avoid them and keep them snack-sized, like 1-2 oz). I am keeping up with my Water (at least a gallon a day). And I have exercised the past three days in a row.

My problem is... I try to pretend that I'm not a food addict. I go out with friends and eat what they eat. I buy things that sound delicious from the grocery store, instead of just the food I need. I started eating more soft foods, which go down easier. I stopped weighing myself regularly. And I stopped losing weight.

So this is what's difficult. An addict is an addict. They say the first step is to admit you are powerless before your addiction. But how are you supposed to admit you are powerless before food? And am I truly powerless? Haven't I spent the last few months trying to learn how to eat?

Even in my monthlong what-have-you, I didn't binge. I ate my Protein first. I didn't eat a whole meal of Pasta and french fries. I didn't make good choices, but I didn't eat the absolute worst things for me.

But then again, there were moments. Moments I ate a pastry that I didn't want/need. Moments that I sat there even when I wanted to exercise. Moments that I knew I wasn't hungry, but I continued to eat.

And those moments are always there, no matter what I'm doing. Even in the past week, doing as well as I have, I'm still compelled to keep eating, after I finish my meal. A handful of nuts, a bite of cheese. I've started to love chewable Vitamins, because its one more thing I get to eat at the end of two meals per day.

So how do I fix this? What do I do?

I don't know. So far my only answer is just to do the best I can.

[Rockin' Robyn 15]

So how do I fix this? What do I do?

I don't know. So far my only answer is just to do the best I can.

Cate-I believe you just answered your own question.......Do the best you can. We are all struggling, some more than others at times, but it is the same struggle. That's why it is so important to have support so when you are down, there are others out there that can reach out and help pull you back up!!

We are all doing the best we can, and this won't be the last time we struggle, there will be more valleys, and hopefully many more times than not there we will be standing high on the mountain, looking back at the valleys we have just treaded through. I don't know if there is a "fix" per say...but we can definitely just take it one day at a time, one meal at a time even...and encourage each other along the way.

You are doing absolutely awesome.....you have realized looking back on things now that you had a little 'slump'. That is half the battle...realizing it, admitting it, and then committing to get back on track. To me, that is always the hardest part initially. You can do it girl! I know you can and WILL! :kiss2: :)

[nolagirl2 0]

Thanks Robyn. Yeah I am just hoping to get the feelings out so I deal with them... I think I'm going to go to a meeting here tomorrow night.

How was your day?

[Rockin' Robyn 15]

Funny you should ask....I was just logging my calories on FitDay....whew....not so good, but I'm alive, I'm healthier than I have ever been, no more surgeries on the horizon, and life is good right??:biggrin1:

Breakfast: Starbucks Frappuccino (gotta stop this habit quick)

Lunch: 3 oz salmon, 1/4 cup corn, couple bites of leftover chicken/rice casserole.

Afternoon Snack: Tortilla chips (too many, didn't count) and about 3 oz of queso (Cate we were having the same cravings today I think:kiss )

Dinner: One piece of thin crust pizza at a social gathering with about 2 tablespoons Ranch dressing for dipping.

Water::omg: Did I even drink any today? I don't think so.....Maybe 24 oz of tea.

Exercise: Played my violin for about 3 hours straight in church this morning (does that count:nervous )

Totals on Fit Day come to 1303 calories and 60 gms Protein. Not gonna beat myself up over 300 calories, but will definitely try to do better tomorrow:bandit

Tomorrow's a new day. Have to work tomorrow, so I'm gonna try to be good and take every opportunity to walk around the unit when I can.

Cate-BTW, I think going to a support group there would be a great idea. I think it is a thing the surgeons should stress more is that there is actual research to back up the fact that weight loss patients who attend support groups on a regular basis are MUCH more successful with the amount of weight they lose!

Gotta go catch the end of Celebrity Fit Club....I'm addicted. I'll check back in tomorrow. Nighty Night!!:notagree

[TheGh0st 9]

As for 130-160:eek: I can't even think that far ahead yet!! After being stuck in the 240's for 3 months, I just dream over and over about the 230's:p

I've been in the current decade for just 4-weeks, but have only managed to log a net 2-1/2 pound loss in that time. At this rate it will be 4 months till I break through to the next one. And here I thought the previous 10 pounds taking 3-months was bad! :hurt

It probably is best, at least for some of us (like me) not to dwell too much on where we are going as it can be too depressing at how slow it seems to be taking to get there. Instead we just need to hang in there and keep reminding ourselves that we're still lighter now than we were a month (or three ) ago and keep pluggin along.

Back to topic....

My food for the day

Breakfast - Protein Bar with Peanut Butter on Top

lunch - 10 pieces of Turkey Pepperoni

dinner - 1 scrambled egg with diced onion, bell pepper, fresh Tomato & tablespoon of ketchup on top.

Fluids - 20 once Protein Drink, 16 ounce Water, 8 ounce skim milk.

Snacks - None (YET!) So far I've resisted the urge those blasted M&M's in the bathroom. Though at this point I think the fear of heartburn is working better than will power.

Exercise - None YET but I'm determined to get on the treadmill for at least 10-15 min after seeing how well everyone else is doing.

[nolagirl2 0]

haha enjoy celeb fit club.

yes i am sooooo queso-bound

robyn - why don't you try getting an iced coffee with SF Syrup? Or you can order a "frappucino lite" with low-fat and low-sugar (i think made with splenda).

[TheGh0st 9]

On Struggles & Group Meetings:

There are two women at one of the groups I go to that are both over 4 years out from surgery having started near or over 300 pounds each and have both been "at goal" for some time. And yet, they still talk about the struggles they go through with their own food additions.

It can be depressing to think they're still struggling after coming so far, BUT More than anything it helps me realize that I don't have to solve all my mind problems before I reach my goals.

[nolagirl2 0]

Thanks, Diane, i appreciate the response. I know its something I'll have to deal with forever, but at least it's gotten a hell of a lot easier since banding!

[503-250 1]

Sorry I ran away for the weekend ladies. I am back and here's my confession.

Saturday, the wife and I went to the east end of the island, checked out the local aquarium and then went to a few wineries. We packed a lunch and Snacks and I don't drink wine so that was no problem.

Saturday:

Breakfast: Slim Fast Breakfast bar (I know i'm boring but it works for me) and I also had a chunky Peanut Butter chocolate chip muffin. I have no idea on the calories, but the Peanut Butter was low fat (yeah...I know it don't help).

Lunch: Ham and Swiss wrap with mustard, and later a 100 cal teddygrahms snack pack.

Dinner: We went out to dinner and I had 6oz of chicken francese, 1/2 cup mashed potatoes, broccoli, carrot and squash slivers on the side.

For dessert I had 6oz of Tastee D-Lite. According to their website, the white russian flavor I had was 11-13 calories per ounce, not too bad. I don't think this was a day of careful eating, but it was a lovely day out and there was A LOT of exercise. I won't go into details...but lot's of walking and climbing and other exercise.

I screwed up and didn't count my Water ( I did a lot of re-filling empty Water bottles all day, but if I had to guess it would be in the range of (12) .5 liter bottles. That comes to about 6 liters of water or 190 something ozs.

[503-250 1]

Sunday:

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with ham and cheese. I thought two eggs would be fine, but appearently not. I had my first true sliming today. I think I didn't chew the ham enough.

Lunch: I had a 100 calorie snack pack of pretzel and crackers and shtuff and a 90 calorie Special K bar.

Dinner: 6 oz chicken cutlet and 1/2 cup Pasta with zucchini, squash and tomoatoes.

(9) .5 liter bottles of Crystal Light

[Wheetsin 714]

Hi 503-250, have we met you? I've you've attended any of the SMMC SG, please let us know who you are so we can introduce ourselves next time.

[503-250 1]

Hi 503-250, have we met you? I've you've attended any of the SMMC SG, please let us know who you are so we can introduce ourselves next time.

I don't think we've meet, but I like your flirty way of approaching the new hottie on the LBT. Unfortunately, I am married, so I am sorry for all you single ladies who thought they might be able to snag this 500lb stud (now 467 and falling).

On a totally seperate note, the reason I don't think we've meet is because I snuck in here across the border. I am from NY, I just liked the concept of this thread and I don't wanna try and start my own and feel all unloved and abondoned when no one joins in. Technically I think this is a chicks only thread too, so i'm crossing alot of borders, but it's worth it.