What Do You Do To Keep Yourself Sane?

[Failure 32]

When you aren't quite at the point of having to go through pre-op diet and do not yet have a surgery date, how do you keep yourself from being too impatient at wanting to start your jouney and get your life back on track? I am finding it very hard not to read about all the success stories "too much" and keep my eye on the goal at hand. I am waiting to move so I can't get established with a surgeon until that happens and the moving date is not set yet. I'm just getting frustrated that I can see the gold but I can't reach my hand in yet, so-to-speak. I'm trying to do things that keep my mind positive, like arts and crafts things that I love to do and things like that. What do you guys do?

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

While your focusing on something that isn't going to happen, you are missing out on today. I would start by focusing on starting healthier eating habits and increasing your exercise for now.

[MinaT 669]

Sign up for myfitnesspal.com and start charting your food now, so you can see where problems lie in regards to carbohydrates and see if you can get your 80 grams of Protein in. Start charting your Water, no harm in working up to that 64 ounces now.

Start walking now. There is no time like the present. I had a six month program I had to be on before my preop shake and surgery is Monday.

I lost almost 70 pounds in that time. I made the choice to start now so I will be in better shape to use the sleeve.

Learn to not drink with your food and to wait 1/2 hour after you eat. Wean off Pop, caffeine in advance.

Learn to chew chew chew chew your food. Learn to eat your meat first, vegetables second, starches & carbs third.

Realize the sleeve is a tool it's not a cure all. Once you get the sleeve, it doesn't mean you aren't addicted to food anymore. Start working on that in advance by adding more Protein.

I am no different than anyone else here, I have an issue, but I made the choice to use my time wisely. I didn't use the time to binge during the pre-approval stage as though I will never get to eat again. I used the time to face the truth. If I over ate I didn't beat myself but I made myself accountable by seeing on paper what my problem is.

Everyone is different. I have gone from 200 - 300 for years now and I've been on every diet known to mankind. Making yourself accountable is the only way to succeed. Not putting blame on yourself or others for overeating, I overate because so and so ticked me off, or I was sad. No excuses. It's between you and yourself.

That's the stuff I learned over the past 7 months waiting for my surgery on Monday. Everyone is responsible for themselves and their actions, I just want to succeed and I spent the time getting my mind and body mentally and physically ready for this challenge.

Good luck to you!

ps - I understand I come off like a know it all sometimes, because I know what is right for me, it may not be right for you, but sometimes the proof is in the pudding you know...70 pounds pre-op is pretty darn good, and I feel that if more people used the opportunity wisely and took responsibility for themselves they would feel as proud of themselves as I do. I think I'm worth it, and it's a good feeling to finally think I'm worth something!

[Failure 32]

@dorrie Oh I agree with that, for sure! I have been trying something to help me "prepare" and sort of get my mind frame in line with eating more and paying attention to portion and paying attention to when my body tells me I am full and not when my mind says "oh you can eat a little more, it tastes so goooood". I have been working on walking a bit since I do have a nice area out front of my apartment complex that there is little traffic and a lot of walkers go and people walking their doggies, too.

@MinaT You know, I actually already have a myfitnesspal account and use it. Sometimes I go a period where I forget but I try to keep it updated. If you'd like to add me? I am Discordya on there, same spelling as my forum name My fiance uses it as well if you want to add him it is earussell, but adding him is up to you and I understand not wanting to.

That is so cool that you lost 70 pounds pre-op. May I please ask you a question? If I may, did you ever consider since you were able to lose that much before surgery to just keep going without it? I know that even if I lost that much I would still want the help of the sleeve because I want something that will assist me permanently for life. Being able to lose weight on your own only shows that you will be able to really achieve so much more with assistance and I'm so happy for you for proving that!

In regards to soda, you know I keep reading a lot of things about having to cut soda out of a diet and caffeinated drinks. I honestly do not drink soda not even diet soda, and I have not for about 2 or 3 years now. I read that a lot of people keep weight on because of these drinks and was surprised when I decided to cut those drinks (no sugary drinks either, I did not trade soda for sweet tea for example) out of my diet that I still did not really notice losing any pounds at all, not even 1 or 2. I drink Water or tea with no sweatener, just plain iced tea on occasion but it is mostly Water. On occasion I might have crystal light or one of those types but not really often.

I definitely do not think you sound like a know-it-all. I appreciate your input! One thing about me is I'm good with point-blank comments and constructive criticism. I am always brutally honest and I have the ability to take it right back at me, also. Sometimes people do not end up liking me because I do not always sugar coat things and they do not like having the truth in their face. Don't get me wrong I try not to be rude or insulting, but even still people hate the truth! Me though? I love it. It helps me to not become delusional about things or not take things for face value.

I have binge ate when I thought I was upset about this or that or angry, but the truth is I eat large portion because I feel hungry and not full but also because I just love food and gobble it up. Gourmet food has run in my family for a long time. My father is a chef and his father was a chef, so on and so forth. So having delicious food made so incredible that you never tasted anything soooo delicious has just been a part of my life. I am trying now to turn that around and to be able to savor food and appreciate it in moderate portions instead of having a huge plate that I get 2nds of etc etc. I just need to not fall off the wagon so much and to keep at it, stay positive. I came here for that type of support.

But even through the diet and exercise and trying to re-train my brain, how did you keep from wanting everything to rush to happen and get your new life started? Was that all you did or was there other things?

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Once my date was finally set, I went crazy an made a concerted effort to eat everything I wanted. I over did it more than a few times. Now that I've had my surgery I can say I reall believe it's made it easier on me. I really don't have much of a problem sticking close to my diet, a few cravings but nothing that has made me regret doing this.

Either way it'll work out. My way might not be the path most choose, but it has worked for me.

[Failure 32]

Thanks shain, I really appreciate your input. I have read numerous places that it is not good to do that sort of "last hoorah" type of binge eating, as if you will not be able to eat any of those foods after surgery. I can see how this has the potential to be detrimental. Your surgery is not a lifestyle change in what you can eat "necessarily" right? So you don't have to have that mind frame of "last mean syndrome" is what I read it is. I think I read that here on the do and don't thread.

I'm not trying to be rude or insulting in any way. I just don't think that is a good idea for my personal case. Overdoing it is something I want to AVOID because I do not want to build a bad habit that I may end up doing later after surgery and hurting myself on accident.

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

No offense taken at all. I know my path is not the one most people choose, nor should they, I am more self indulgent than most people so I knew that if I gave up good food before I absolutely had to I'd regret it.

As far as a lifestyle change, I absolutely do view this as that, I'll never again be able to sit down and eat a whole Five Guys bacon cheeseburger, or a 22oz bone in ribeye, or have a full plate of seafood portofino w/calamari appetizer ...... This is all a good thing, as that is exactly what brought me to where I was 2weeks ago.

I'm only 10 days out and I already am seeing huge improvements. I can walk now, without being in pain, my feet are sore from all the walking I've been doing, but they aren't swelling up like they did before. I'm even looking forward to getting back on a dirt bike and playing in the mud(I haven't done that in 20yrs).

I'm not saying the path I chose is right fore anybody but me, I'm saying that is what I did & I have no regrets

You do what is right for you. I'm behind you 100%.

[MinaT 669]

Discordya, you are already on a good road by practicing now. you will see the longer you are on the site and read that you should be proud that you are taking steps now. Being proactive is the best thing you can do.

I did have some last meals, I actually did more going out once I started working on my diet than I did when I wasn't controlling what I ate. We never went out before, I ate at home, and overate at home. New Years Eve we went to Red Lobster and I still couldn't fit into a booth. About a month ago we went and I fit into a booth, that's a great feeling.

I could call and cancel surgery today and continue on this road to attempt to lose the last 100 on my own. I have thought about it pretty hard actually, I have gone from 330 - 128 and kept it off 5 years and then I got sick and climbed up to 175 and I went in for a laparascopy and found out I had uteran cancer and I had adhesions that wrapped around my intestines and I had sepsis due to a leak. I ended up with a complete hysterectomy and bowel resection and spent 3 months in and out of the hospital. I hit 200 then over the years hit 300 then back to 200 then 300 it's been a trip.

I am going to be 49, my grandmother died at 49 due to obesity, she also had diabetes. I have a cousin who died at 52 in her sleep due to her weight.

I have sleep apnea, diabetes, a 3mm brain tumor located on the root entry of my trigeminal nerve, I have Lupus, Raynauds and there is thinking it may be Crest. I also have Narrow Angle Glaucoma and Open Glaucoma. When Lupus flairs up I get Pleurisy, I get pneumonia, my ana's go crazy, all my lymph nodes swell up on me, my raynauds gets bad, my legs and hands and feet swell up and it's hard to walk, I end up not doing anything and I end up with pneumonia. I had a heart monitor for a year that was removed in December. I had severe endometriosis and I have had several miscarriages. I get diverticulitis and polyps often, every 2 years I have a colonoscopy and they take care of the polyps. Sleep apnea and diabetes is weight related, those need to be taken care of now, because those make all the rest that aren't weight related a nightmare.

I almost quit the program because I didn't think I could handle six months. I took it one step at a time. I couldn't exercise or anything at first. I stood and tried to walk in place for 5 minutes while watching tv (something I never do). I watched One Tree Hill and walked in place, I watched Grey's anatomy on Netflix, Brothers & Sisters, and I walked, I finally could fit onto my Gazelle and I did 5 minutes and seriously thought I would die. I did an hour even though I knew I was sick and I ended up in the hospital for pleurisy I got my hour in.

I spent 6 months afraid one of my other illnesses would get in the way of the surgery, that I would be denied because of the lupus, the pleurisy, etc.

The reason I am continuing with the sleeve is because I will end up sick again, no matter what because of something non-weight related and being sick when I'm a normal weight and being sick weighing 300 is a HUGE difference. When I get sick it's easier to gain weight. Steroids and me are good buddies and I've been on and off them forever.

Before I made the final decision to call the WLS place (for the third time) I was over 300 . That day I was sitting on my couch and I could barely breath and I needed help getting off the couch, and I needed help to get up my stairs and I needed help with my shoes on. My son drove and we parked in handicap and I got so tired. Most nights I went to bed and my husband would fall asleep in 2 minutes and I would lay there, with my oxygen, trying to fall asleep and realizing the weight on my chest was smothering me and after 4 hours of laying there listening him to sleep, I'd nod out and realize I wasn't breathing and I'd say oh my god, is this the night I'm going to die. I said that so many nights. After that horrible day out in the store (wearing a seat belt extender and my hands hurting too much and I couldn't latch it) I decided I'm calling and doing it this time. The 1st time I called the WLS place my husband lost his insurance and I quit, the second time in 2010 I got pneumonia and I quit....I had pneumonia twice in one year.

I am having the sleeve, even though I lost 70 already because I followed the recommended diet by my bariatric surgeon. The one he suggested his patients go on before surgery. I followed it. I didn't follow it to a T I had special nights, I drank a margarita once in a while, I drank Cider, I went to a Japanese Steakhouse once in a while, I went to Red Lobster, I ate Italian, but I wrote it down and I learned in that time.

I kept busy going to doctors. Not out having fun, not hanging with friends, I spent it in my home with my family or at doctors. I got 2 more days until surgery, I washed floors, did laundry, will cook for my family, I did my gazelle an hour already, I watered my plants.

I am making plans for my future. I'm going to Six Flags for Fright Fest and I'm going to fit into the rides, I'm going to visit friends and ride an airplane, I'm hoping in two years to go to Hawaii and wear a bikini.

Life happens, I am tired of being a shut-in. Since starting my journey, I've done more in the last 7 months out with my family than I have in years.

Good luck to you, I honestly think you are going make your weight work for you.

[Failure 32]

Oh my gosh, MinaT, thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story with me. That means so much to me. It means a lot that you explained what you do to occupy your time and keep busy. Thank you for sharing that with me. I am so sorry for the things you have been through, but I am so happy for you and proud that you got that weight off pre-op and that you are going through with the surgery to help maintain. That is so heroic and I think after reading that (and I admit, shedding a few tears) that your story will be one of the few that I hold close through my journey. If you with your health problems, cancer, etc have been able to go through with it and have such success, then I can too. Thank you, I wish I could hug you!

I hope we can keep in touch through our jounies. I may not be able to offer much as you are so much more progressed into yours, but maybe moral support and a friend to lean on is what I can offer

[Estrovan 28]

Seriously - not a joke . . . I started throwing pottery. Sitting there watching clay spin around & around in circles was the ONLY time the surgery wasn't on my mind. I was completely obsessed & consumed by non-stop thoughts about IF it was gonna happen, WHEN it was gonna happen, HOW it was gonna happen. So, my advice? Try getting your hands dirty & take a class in something you've always dreamed of trying. It's been a godsend for me. I even got "the call" that I was approved while I was AT pottery class. IT was perfect!!

[Failure 32]

That is so awesome Estrovan! I was going to mention how I feel obsessed, almost consumed by the thoughts, possibilities, what-ifs, but I guess I am a little gun shy on being entirely open with exact thoughts because I was on another forum in the past when I was researching RNY because it is what my sister had, and that forum was not so nice. This lady had messaged me in private saying that I am going to bottom out and fail in a cloud of negativity and all this and that. I said to her hey lady, you know what? The only thing negative I've had for weeks has been this PM from you. I can't believe she messaged me the things she did. I can't imagine I am alone in the way I behave or feel about things, the way I'm thinking, etc. I KNOW I'm not. I don't feel like I will be hated on for feeling so positive and keeping an upbeat attitude here, and it feels good to finally feel I can be. That is just ME, overly honest and it bugs me when I can't be.

[MinaT 669]

Pottery sounds AWESOME. I think that's a great idea. Estrovan, I would love to do that someday. I want to take cooking classes, I would love to do pottery. More things to try after surgery

Discordya, you are so sweet. I'm a pretty strong though, I sometimes think things happen to me because I am strong enough. Better me than my son or parents or husband.

I have my negative days, I'm ticked that I lost 16 pounds in a week just dieting and on 2 weeks of this pre-op shake of only 3 shakes a day I have lost 10 pounds...10 measly pounds and I better not say that too loud because if I go weigh myself in a minute I'll probably gain 3. I've been up and down 3 pounds in a day on 600 calorie shakes lol. I need ONE more friggin pound to hit 229. I haven't been in the 20's since the winter of 2006 I think.

I call my husband a stupid muncher and told him I wanted to punch him in the face because he was snacking after dinner, seriously, how nice am I? Hahaha, I am making it through, and the big joke is I am doing GREAT during this pre-op because I haven't killed anyone....yet!

I'm not heroic, I just got bad genes, but as my mother says, at least you know you weren't adopted lol. I am going to love following you on your journey and I will be here for you.

I'm proud of what I accomplished before surgery and the time goes fast if you can keep busy and work on yourself before the big day. I am grateful that I am just that much closer to goal and I made my goal weight that much closer by spending my 6 months (now 7) wisely.

Time to play with the family. <3 Best of luck to you!

[Failure 32]

You may not think you are heroic but to some you are. Like a role model or someone whose story brings hope and a sense of realness to this type of thing. I thought it was very brave how you handled everything and have been going strong. Even the strongest people have weak moments, it is what builds the strength, right?! So happy for you close to your 20s, please let me know when you hit 229!!!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

discordya: So sorry you had a bad experience on that other website. This website is pretty awesome. The people are like family here and are very supportive and will let you know when you get off track. It's not to be mean, it's to help you confront the triggers that get you off track so that you can get back on track and be successful! You are awesome and please don't hold back from sharing here. We are family. There are very, very few times when a negative person is messing around and causing havick, and I usually go back and push the unfollow button, and don't participate in his/her cheap trills. They typically go away because they get bored.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Mina T: I am so proud of you! You are taking control of your life and now living it! you will get to your goal. I read your story and wow! You are a great inspiration to us! Thank you so much for sharing your story. :wub: