If you don't want to be offended then DO NOT open this thread. You have been warned!

[Penni60 45]

THIS POST IS NOT A SLAM ON ANY ONE MEMBER. IT IS A SLAM ON US ALL AS A WHOLE. SO BE FOREWARNED IF YOU OFFEND EASILY. STOP READING NOW!

OK YOU WERE WARNED.

I have been a member of LBT for almost 3 years now. I was asked to be a moderator about 6 months into my membership. Some of us (yes me included) had ups and downs with regards to behaving on this forum.

Here is my line of thinking after I learned the hard way how to deal with something I don't like being said. IGNORE it. You just feed into the drama if you respond to something you don't like. The TRUE friends you have will know better about your true character.

If someone came on here and said that I used my body to get money out of men and was a drug addict and had my kids taken away from me because of it. What do I care? How can that possible HURT me physically with my TRUE friends? And if the rest of the membership chooses to believe those comments then no matter how much I protest they will think I it is true. SO why expend all your energy when that is what the other poster wants? Just to keep the drama flowing. Stop feeding into it.

I know it is hard to not do that but come on people. This is grade school or high school either. Who cares what people say? Who cares what doctor is the best or worst? WHO CARES?

I, as a moderator and a member, am tired of the bickering and fighting and rehashing of old topics. Why do you insist on opening old wounds that have healed and left NO scars? What purpose does it serve? Let them alone. Leave them alone.

Shit happened on LBT it will happen again, after all we are women, We eat our young. LOL!! Laugh here please. LOL!!

If what I have said makes Alex remove me as a moderator then so be it. It is a hard job and it really depresses me when I see people I consider battle sisters and brothers in this war on obesity using that energy wastefully. Direct that anger or whatever it is on tackling and beating that obesity horse. That I can sink my teeth into. See it all goes back to food. LOL!! Laugh here too! LOL!!

Get a life! Stop posting on threads if the subject doesn't speak to you. And ignore the people tha slam you.

I will say however, that inflammatory comments ARE NOT ACCEPTIBLE! You tread a fine line when you make those kinds of statements or assumptions. Just think before you speak people. Ask yourself would you say this to your Lord, Buddha, Goddess, Muhammad, whatever you worship. The devil or dark forces seems to have a hold of some of us and using us for no good. Take back those reins and smack him off the horse.

OK I am done. I might be done literally as a moderator too. IF so then this will be my parting post.

[the best me 6]

IGNORE it. You just feed into the drama if you respond to something you don't like. The TRUE friends you have will know better about your true character.

SO why expend all your energy when that is what the other poster wants? Just to keep the drama flowing. Stop feeding into it.

Shit happened on LBT it will happen again,

Get a life! Stop posting on threads if the subject doesn't speak to you. And ignore the people tha slam you.

Amen sista! :amen:

[Dianechef 3]

Thank you Penni! Can I just say that I agree 100%!?!?!?!!!!! Although it's hard to not take things personally when someone says things that aren't true, in reality the person who said the comment is probably looking to get a rise out of you. Don't give them what they want!! When you ignore it, you're doing exactly what they DON'T want you to do. YOU WIN!!! :scalesno:

I don't think you've said anything that should have you removed as a moderator. It took guts to post this & I applaud you!!! Maybe I'll get slammed for agreeing with you, but.....I'm okay with that.

I come to LBT to get help & encouragment. Although I have followed the drama, I don't get involved in it. It's just not worth my time or energy.

[PhotoNut 7]

Geeze Penni, I think you said what any moderator would say. If you get fired, I'll start a rebellion until they bring you back!

[Morsaille 4]

LBT would really turn into an ugly place if they removed someone as clear-sighted, and caring as Penni from the moderator position.

((((everyone))))

[dawg 0]

Rant on Penni, Rant on!

:scalesno:

[Wheetsin 714]

On a fundamental level an argument is simply a matter of how much control you're willing to give someone else over your emotions. Online arguments are no different. There is no, "You made me mad", there is only, "You did this and my reaction was anger." Why let someone else be in a position where they can control your emotions like that? So if you find yourself in a situation of anger, resentment, jealousy, <inesrt emotion of choice here>, you really have to ask yourself - How much control of my emotional state am I willing to give this person? If your answer is "...not much" then the argument ends expiditiously. But if you don't ask yourself that, and "bite the hook" and keep the responses going, it never ends and pretty soon you're going to lose control (aka give control of yourself over to the other person).

One you decide that your emotions are yours and yours alone, it's really easy to see two things fairly clearly:

1) Whomever the instigator or whatever argument may be, they're needing something they think you will give them. This is all the better they are, so if anything - feel sorry for them. They don't know any better.

2) Who cares? The anonymity of the Internet means we're all just a bunch of 1s and 0s, and for all you know I'm really a 75 year old man in Paraguay. Who cares what someone you don't know thinks of you? Haven't we all, and we here in particular, spent enough of our lives worrying about that? Great things can be accomplished by swallowing some pride, being the bigger person, and turning the other cheek.

["Just" Paul 1]

Damn you wheets...

Damn you and your reasoning and understanding and your damn logic:p

How dare you come on here and make such a simple and honest statement? Especially with it being accurate.

Damn you.:scalesno:

BTW, how are things in Paraguay, Grandpa?

[Alexandra 55]

Wheetsin is a wise, wise woman. The only other thing I'd add is that if someone reads something on the board that seems childish and catty, the fact of the matter is that it reflects poorly on the POSTER, not the one on the receiving end. We should all take everything with a ton of salt, consider the source, and walk away. Attempts to "defend" oneself only lead toward the abyss.

Wheets, if you're an old man in Paraguay, can I be a shepherd in Tuscany?

[MoOrLess 0]

Alexandra - I totally agree - too much salt just hurts the wound!

I'm Maya Angelou when she was 30 years old - traveling the world. Just keeping with the theme :scalesno:

[DonnaB 3]

I don't have a problem with people defending themselves or even just participating in a heated argument. I DO have a problem when it degenerates into name calling, cussing and threats.

Generally speaking, I find heated arguments annoying at worst, amusing at best, and good typing practice if I'm involved in one! lol (It's a joke people!)

[dawg 0]

I guess after giving this some rational thought I have a few things to add.

I love a heated discussion. I enjoy people's passion and opinions.

I don't enjoy targetted barbs and insults. I also don't respond to them even though it does become difficult to show restraint. I have acknowledged some time ago that such things can only degenerate into a quagmire of hurt.

For the people who throw the insults, they hurt themselves more than they hurt the target. Nurturing hatred in your heart and soul is going to be hurtful only to yourselves. It is possible to dislike, ignore and debate with people, without hating.

I am by nature aggressive, as has been pointed out. I am opinionated also. Very few would even blame me if I did throw an abject fit of rage but I have elected to take other approaches and to deal with situations in a matter of fact manner.

There is only one way to win a vicious and insulting argument.

Don't take part.

[MoOrLess 0]

AMEN Dawg.......

[Alexandra 55]

There is only one way to win a vicious and insulting argument.

Don't take part.

Amen, amen, amen. I want this in cross-stitch. :scalesno:

And if I can amend my previous alter-ego, I want to be Jimmy Buffett. (He has the perfect life!!)

[Penni60 45]

Oh don't get me wrong I love a heated discussion as well. I love to argue my point but not at the detriment of the arguee. IS that even a word? LOL!! I also am adult and mature enough to know when to agree to disagree.

I just never understand the need or desire to sling names and make assumptions about peoples lifes. None of us know what each and everyone of us go through or experience on a daily basis.

I have several irons in the fire right now and this stuff on LBT is taking time away from that. This pisses me off. Yes, I know I could just turn off the computer and back away from the keyboard but as a Moderator we don't always have that luxury. The rest of the membership here DOES have that option.

If you come here for support then look for that support and not look for ways to cause problems that moderators need to deal with.

Thank you. Now I am going to try to get busy on those 37 necklaces I have to get done. LOL!!!