Feeling Awful, Emotionally.. Suggestions?

[AshleyIrene 8]

I’m feeling awful, not physically but emotionally. I am 2 months post op today. My first month post op I felt great. I recovered quickly & was learning quickly how to eat and drink afterwards. My sleeve seems to like just about anything unless I eat too fast and don’t realize it. Emotionally after surgery I also felt amazing. I felt better than I had in years. I finally felt like I was seeing progress and started to feel a lot better about myself and I felt as if I was dealing with my relationships with people a lot better (I always felt very anxious around people). I felt so confident about the decision that I made, that I decided that it shouldn’t be kept a secret. If someone asked where I’ve been or how I had been losing weight so quickly, I had no problem telling them about the surgery. It was the first time in a long period of time that I didn’t spend a couple days crying over things that hurt me, it felt freeing and I felt on my way to this ‘new’ life. But the last two weeks I have felt absolutely awful. I feel like everyone’s treating me like crap. My boyfriend was very supportive when the surgery happened but now continually tries to offer me food that I shouldn’t be eating. We went out to eat and over dinner I wanted to talk to him about how serious it was that I change the habits I had before surgery and how I didn’t want to get sucked back into greasy, fat, fried & fast food again. I asked him if he could please just eat a little healthier around me (ex: a sandwich instead of a burger) instead of asking me to stop at a fast food place when he gets into my car if I can just make him something when we get back to my place. He still didn’t understand after this conversation what I was saying.. He thinks its ok to eat that kind of food because I “can’t eat much of it anyways”, so he thinks it does no harm. Not even five minutes after this conversation he asks if I want to split a milkshake with him. *rolls eyes* On top of this, I have also lost all of my sex drive.. I honestly don’t know if it’s because I’m finally taking birth control for the first time ever.. or because I’m fed up with all of it. Other than that my mother has never been supportive of any kind of surgery and thinks it’s easy to just jump on a treadmill and eat some carrots in order to get down to the weight you need to. I moved in with my sister 5 days before I had surgery. She has always been the All-Star of the family. Skinny, dancer, beautiful, dresses & carries herself nicely & so on. I’ve always been very envious of her and always have looked up to her. These past two weeks have had me feeling so awkward around her and her friends. I just feel like that fat kid in the corner that doesn’t have a clue. Besides everyone else, I’m really not making myself any better. I get all dolled up and look in the mirror and sometimes I just cry.. I feel like I look awful and I get such anxiety just thinking I have to go out looking this way… I don’t have much support with the decision I made besides myself. I was comfortable with that but when people, a long with your own mindset try to throw you off the wagon.. It gets really hard to try to get back on.. I honestly don’t really know how to get my mind ‘back in the game’. Don’t get me wrong.. I’m still having all my Protein and Vitamins throughout the day. The only thing that has lacked recently is my exercising. I guess I just needed to vent.. but mostly was hoping for some feedback.. any suggestions on how to get out of this rut…

[Chuckles 28]

Hang on in there you and your body have been and still are going through a very big change, remember that you are worth loving despite how much or less you weigh. Lots of love and prayers your way.

[DonnaK. 5]

It's very possible that your boyfriend is afraid of the "changing you", and wants to sabotage your progress. If you made this decision because it was what YOU wanted and needed for yourself, hang in there, and if counseling is an option for you or the both of you, I would suggest it. Birth control can definitely affect your emotions. Sometimes a person has to try a couple of different ones to find the best for them. You really need a support group and I know this can be a good place for that. I will help in any way that I can if you need a listening ear, and will send prayers your way as well!!

[Spatters3 315]

*BIG HUG* you poor thing. You're just not getting the support and encouragement that you need right now, even from yourself ! Well sweety, buck up and kick those blues to the curb ! Repeat after me " I am a beautiful woman ! I am an exceptional woman ! God loves me and so do I !" and that will chase that ol' devil you have whispering in your ear runnin' for the hills. Do something special for yourself - purchase a good book or some beautiful stationery, or buy yourself some flowers or a gorgeous plant. And every time you see these little beautiful gifts you gave yourself you'll be reminded that you did it because you love you right now and you love who you're becoming and you are MORE than worthy.

[ShapeShifter 64]

I'm so sorry you are struggling with these emotions. Remember that the fat-loss is releasing hormones into your system, and much of this will improve over time. I am pre-op, but I have already found a local WLS support group, to help wrap my mind around the change that is coming, and to develop supportive relationships with those who truly understand what I am and will be going through. Might there be a group in your area that you may join?

One thing I can offer is the knowledge that people don't see us the way we see ourselves. You are a remarkable woman who is taking care of herself, and improving her life. No one is looking down on you... that would be your emotions playing tricks on you. Get outside and take a walk when you are feeling this way... let nature heal your spirit and remind you that you, too, are about to bloom.

As for the food-pushing boyfriend... perhaps you could try using your "I feel" statements to remind him that you feel like he is not supporting your hopes and dreams of a healthier lifestyle when he chooses to eat poorly in your presence... of course, you are sure he doesn't mean to send that message, and he will surely respect your request in the future... as anyone who loves you would.

Last night, friends came over without their usual bottle of wine to share, because they respected my choice to keep my liver in good shape prior to surgery (not even scheduled yet). They made me feel so loved.

Wishing you all the best...

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

It is so frustrating when others are inconsiderate in the things we're trying to change. It sounds like your in a little bit of depression and need to get out and exercise to lift some of the depression. I am 7.5 months post op and today I feel down. I do feel down when others bring around M&M's peanuts and chips. I hate watching my husband eat and others. I get really impatient with them. I really want them to eat healthy. Yesturday we all went to Mimi's and ordered lunch. I told them that this was the last time I am going to order my own meal and that I will being taking bites from their's. They were all ok with that. That's such a big variety I'll have. So let's get out of our funk, dust our pants off, and jump back into the game! We are winner's! Oh and tell your boyfriend that it's not ok to sabotage your diet!

[kdk1979 1]

You may want to talk to your doctor about your birthy control pills. I remember when I first got on them years ago, I had emotional outbirsts and cried and cried and cried. I felt so lonely, even surrounded by wonderful family and friends. I talked to my doctor, and he had put me on pills with high estrogen, and it was just too much too soon. That might not be all of it, but it might help some! :-) Good luck!

[gracemarie 6]

I agree, you need either a group, or even a very good friend you can talk to when your "funk" hits. Maybe don't blame everything you are feeling on your surgery, everyone at some time has all these feelings that you are having. Every day is not always sunny. The boyfriend issue can be coming from a few different ways, he wants to keep you the way you are and is afraid if you start looking sooooo good, he will lose you and you will be off to greener pastures. Or, it is the old saying...you can only change yourself and not someone else, and he does not want to change his habits, so maybe you better rethink trying to change him. Right now, just like a new recoving alcoholic who should not frequent bars, you should not be in fast foods. Now, I will tell you, down the road you will be able to handle that. I very seldom go but if I bring things home, I literally get a cheesburger and give half to the dog. Just a couple bites and I am satisfied. In the early mos. I followed to the letter, I am 7 mos. out now and have lost 80# and am very happy. I now pretty much eat what I want, just ever so small quanties and I am still losing about 2 pounds a week. If you need someone to talk to I will be more than happy, I am home all day..e-mail me and I will give you my # daryllarke@att.net..Sue

[alliegb3 112]

The birth control hormones messed with me- it'd help to check that out

[Texarkolina 201]

Birth control pills can make a woman feel bat poop crazy. Maybe this isn't a good time to start them.......

[aviiva 140]

It sounds like your boyfriend is.insecure that he might lose you. Do not let.him sabotage this for you. He is probably not even conscious of doing do but when one person in the relationship changes the playing field is no longer level is he heavy invite him on the journey with you

Sent from my SPH-D700 using VST

[AshleyIrene 8]

Thank you to all of you for your uplifting advice and comments. I stopped taking my bc until I go to appointment next week and see what other options are out there for me. I also saw my counselor today, who gave me a lot of good advice and helped me figure out my triggers through out this process with WLS and myself. This community is so wonderful, it felt like the only place I could go to feeling the way I did. I appreciate this site so much and the people here. So thank you all so much and best wishes to you and your journey!

As far as the boyfriend I'll just have to see how it goes.. I've invited him to join the process with me since he is very over weight himself. But he's declined. Change is hard for anyone and you can only change yourself.

Xoxoxo.