Seriously People?

[LadyIvy 159]

I think I am going to have to choose which topics I read more carefully. I am a little frustrated so please forgive me when I say this, but seriously people! Almost every day there is another post that goes something like this:

OMG! I have only lost 50 lbs in 45 days and now its stopped! Am I broken? Am I ever going to lose anymore weight?

Why do people ask this question? They are losing more than a pound a day and their body needs time to adjust before continuing with weight loss. Don't get me wrong, I am not completely happy with my 28 lbs, but I am happy with many of my NSV's, including not having a ton of extra skin to contend with.

I'm just saying, come on!, you have to know your body has practically performed a miracle for you and just needs a rest. I believe that EVERYONE here is smart enough to know this. Saying I'm frustrated because I am in a stall is one thing. After major surgery it is frustrating to have to wait. I just can't believe that people think that if they continue eating between 600-900 calories a day that they are never going to lose another pound even if it takes a while.

[Jafter 11]

Thanks Ivy, I am about a month post op and I am down 40lbs since April 18h. I have hit a stall it is frustrating I am 2 lbs away from being under 300 so that makes it even more frustrating. I have been walking and I can not cut these 2 lbs. But it does make sense that your body needs to adjust to weight loss.

This is a marathon not a sprint so we all need to be patient. Thanks again Ivy for the reality check.

[mylifeinpink 349]

Well said, and I agree!

[Wheetsin 714]

Most people misuse the term stall, I'm guilty myself even though I know the difference.

People losing weight - not just people here, and not just bariatric patients - see good weightloss and don't understand that it's simply not sustainable.

It might amaze (or dismay) you how many people come into something like this knowing nothing other than what their surgeon has told them, or what they've read online or seen on the internet, or just made up in their own minds. There's just no knowledge of the actual body processes that are going on "behind the scenes". Look at how many people don't understand the extremely simple difference between "fat" and "weight", and truly believe that because their scale is up 2 lbs, they're somehow overeating. Or that because their scale said 150 at 8:00am, and 150.6 at 8:20am, they must have somehow done something wrong during those 20 minutes.

I'm plateaued (even though I say stalled), and working to change things up. In my case, it's an atypical plateau and I didn't think much of it for the first 4 weeks or so because I understand that things are happening, that my liver's being a weightloss wanker, that these cankles I have mean something, etc. Unfortunately the rationale only lasts so long before irrational thoughts start to have a voice, too. I know they're irrational, and I know better, but they are still there.

And to a degree, if you're going to be on a "support board" (ANY support board), it's just the nature of the beast. Sometimes common sense is not so common, and sometimes people are in desperate panics over quite literally nothing, or confusion.

At the end of the day, gas prices may drive me crazy and I may want to shake my fists every time they go up, but I'm still agreeing to drive a car, so there's not much to say.

[MSVEEKAYWHY 6]

omggg i totally agree ivy!!!

[Mab 44]

My favorite thing about this board has always been that despite the number of repeated questions and very similar posts, I haven't seen anyone react negatively to those posts. Until now.

I think it's great that you are able to intellectualize the way weight loss works, LadyIvy. However, I hope that as a result of your post people will NOT stop posting about concerns they have - rational or not - and I hope that there will always be compassionate people to reassure them with kindness rather than frustration and aggravation.

[Wheetsin 714]

To that note, you might also want to consider asking a mod to move this to RnR. At least there it will be in the most harmless context.

[LadyIvy 159]

My favorite thing about this board has always been that despite the number of repeated questions and very similar posts, I haven't seen anyone react negatively to those posts. Until now.

I think it's great that you are able to intellectualize the way weight loss works, LadyIvy. However, I hope that as a result of your post people will NOT stop posting about concerns they have - rational or not - and I hope that there will always be compassionate people to reassure them with kindness rather than frustration and aggravation.

I am just the sort of person that uses logic. Things that lack logic confuse me. That does not mean its negative. In many cases my way of thinking comes off as cold. I just prefer to believe that people are smart and that inside themselves, they know the truth even if it makes them angry. I try daily to understand people who process things primarily with emotion. I am not always very good at it, but no matter how old I get, I still find it confusing. It is especially difficult as a female, because people expect me to be really in touch with my emotions and they get upset with me and think I am deliberately being dense to be difficult when I am trying to see their perspective. I, like everyone else, has a right to be able to express my feelings. If these feelings are frustration, then so be it. I see frustration on this board quite often, why should the topic of my frustration be considered negative?

[LadyIvy 159]

To that note, you might also want to consider asking a mod to move this to RnR. At least there it will be in the most harmless context.

What is RnR?

[Wheetsin 714]

Rants & raves.

Want debate? Get it here. Gripe, complain, moan, fight, rant and rave. Enter at your own risk!

http://www.verticals...lk-rants-raves/

Not saying you have to by any means, jsut that it's a bit of a shelter for the topics that can be interpreted as a bit more inflammatory.

Lack of common sense bothers me, too - or maybe I should say misinformation, and ignorance. But lack of common sense too. I can't tell you how many times I've had to wonder how someone can seriously not know the answer to their question. But in my line of work, I'm slapped in the face every day by how much one person's "aha!" is another person's "duh.."

[LadyIvy 159]

Rants & raves.

http://www.verticals...lk-rants-raves/

Not saying you have to by any means, jsut that it's a bit of a shelter for the topics that can be interpreted as a bit more inflammatory.

Lack of common sense bothers me, too - or maybe I should say misinformation, and ignorance. But lack of common sense too. I can't tell you how many times I've had to wonder how someone can seriously not know the answer to their question. But in my line of work, I'm slapped in the face every day by how much one person's "aha!" is another person's "duh.."

Oh I totally agree that it should go there. I just don't see it on the main forum page. I have to wonder how many times I have just gone by that page

[Pookeyism 1,143]

They are scared, and concerned, and need to relate it to themselves. They need a pat on the back, and should always be able to get it here and never worry if they posted something for the umpteenth time.

[Wheetsin 714]

A pat on the back, or some good information. I'm not real good at the former, but I'll always try to give the latter.

But that's "support" to me. I don't need to hear "good job." I need to hear "here's what you're missing..."

[kellythestarr 39]

Why don't you just go to another forum....? Maybe that would help your frustration.

[kczar 166]

I think this should be a forum where everyone can express their opinions, even if everyone doesn't agree. LadyIvy did bring a good point. There is a lot of redundancy on here. But of course, each of us feel that we're the only one going through a particularly tough time. It's human nature. And I'm glad to know there is a place for ranting (there's always a place for ranting! )

I've seen a few passive aggressive posts (my family is fluent in pa) and those they kind of manipulated supportive replies that way. Did it frustrate me? Heck yeah! But that's just how these people are.

LadyIvy, keep posting. You've shared some really great insights in the past. And I guess I'll meet you over at the r&r!