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I Feel Like A Failure



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So I am 5 weeks almost 6 post op. I was doing very well and now that i am almost done with all my post op restrictions I find my self starting to eat whatever I feel like. The soft stuff just does not even taste good to me. I ate a few sugar Cookies today...not too proud of my self. Last night I had a couple too. The day before i ate some m and ms and pretzles bits with hot wing flavor. I just seem to be eating whatever i can put my hands on and what is good for me and I have no desire for anything else. I am having struggles in my personal life and I am an emotional eater so that is where the problem is lying. I feel sad about my marriage and I feel alone and then I just automaticly think to myself what I can eat. I even thought about my old friend mcdonalds but becuase of the bread I dont. In addition I think part of this is becuase i have been stalled for 3 weeks so that is adding to the feeling of failing. I did great the first 2 weeks of the stall and this week is just going horrible.

Has anyone else had this experience? I really need help

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You're not a failure!! It's an on going process and a life long struggle. I stalled for 2 weeks but finally started to lose again, and you will too.

At least you can't eat as much as you used to.

Try putting things in a small bowl or plate to eat. Don't eat out of the bags. Maybe try eating some Protein first and possibly becoming to full for Cookies.

How does your stomach feel after eating the "bad" stuff?

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food has been your friend, your outlet for so long that food is where you turn. This is why we need to see a counselor or therapist. They help us to let go of the codependent relationship we have with food. Personally, I already see a counselor and I take Abilify, and I havent even had my surgery yet. But I know that I have to learn to hold my sky up. You too can learn that food cannot be ur comfort anymore. I'm not saying you need meds bc I take them, but you do need guidance and a therapist and nutritionist will provide that for u. This site is a great resource, but you need to go a step further and talk to a professional. We will always be here if u need to vent and if you need to, contact youp pcp and she/he will help you

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well not too bad unless i eat too much of it. so at least when i eat a cookie it is only one and not 10 so i guess that is a plus but i find my self no just not even wanting to eat.. food is turning me off all together today.

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Strong Language Advisory:

OK, OK!

You fucked up!

Big f**king deal!

We've all done it!

You are not going to get it right every f**king day. But, if you string enough of those days together you will lose weight!

Now here's my advice!

KEEP YOUR EMEMIES OUT OF YOUR HOME!

IF THE food ISN'T ON YOUR LOSING PLAN KEEP IT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. NONE OF THAT, OH I'M GETTING IT FOR MY HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, CHILDREN, GUEST, FRIEND, ETC. ETC. ETC.

f**k 'em! Right now, this is about you. YOU!!!! And right now, you can't eat those foods and lose the weight.

stop thinking you can eat the bullshit carbs (and that's what they are bullshit) and concentrate on your WL program.

My cousin had weight loss surgery and helped me tremendously by saying the following to me when I was going through as similar situation like yours. She said "cuz, just because you have WL surgery; doesn't mean you stop liking the foods that you like"

That freed me up mentally, because this is a mental game at this point. Yes, I like strawberry Ice cream (with a banana), but it's not on my losing program. So, I don't have it!

I also know this. Those foods that you are wanting "AINT GOING ANYWHERE" They will all be there when you've lost your weight and made it to goal!

This is the tough love txt msg. The one that I hope hits you in the solar plexes.

You know what you need to do. After all, aren't you the big girl wearing the smaller panties now!

Woman up and handle your damn business

Love and Hugs,

Diane NY

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Strong Language Advisory:

OK, OK!

You fucked up!

Big f**king deal!

We've all done it!

You are not going to get it right every f**king day. But, if you string enough of those days together you will lose weight!

Now here's my advice!

KEEP YOUR EMEMIES OUT OF YOUR HOME!

IF THE food ISN'T ON YOUR LOSING PLAN KEEP IT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. NONE OF THAT, OH I'M GETTING IT FOR MY HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, CHILDREN, GUEST, FRIEND, ETC. ETC. ETC.

f**k 'em! Right now, this is about you. YOU!!!! And right now, you can't eat those foods and lose the weight.

stop thinking you can eat the bullshit carbs (and that's what they are bullshit) and concentrate on your WL program.

My cousin had weight loss surgery and helped me tremendously by saying the following to me when I was going through as similar situation like yours. She said "cuz, just because you have WL surgery; doesn't mean you stop liking the foods that you like"

That freed me up mentally, because this is a mental game at this point. Yes, I like strawberry Ice cream (with a banana), but it's not on my losing program. So, I don't have it!

I also know this. Those foods that you are wanting "AINT GOING ANYWHERE" They will all be there when you've lost your weight and made it to goal!

This is the tough love txt msg. The one that I hope hits you in the solar plexes.

You know what you need to do. After all, aren't you the big girl wearing the smaller panties now!

Woman up and handle your damn business

Love and Hugs,

Diane NY

well said Diane NY!

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thank you for that. i suppose that i needed it.. I apprecaite it!

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I stall all the time. It seems I stall for 3 weeks at a time, then I lose 5 lbs or more. I am an emotional eater too and after a dr appt. today, I was so shaken that all I could think about was "where's the nearest drive-thru?" but I went to the gym instead :)

The hardest part is figuring out when you eating emotionally (you got the hard part), then you have to consciously make the decision to do something else, or eat something healthy.

We all do it, well, at least I do. I have reached for M&M's, but then I think about my goals and move forward and make better choices.

((((hugs))))))

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Diane NY... You are awesome...

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thank you for that. i suppose that i needed it.. I apprecaite it!

I know exactly how you feel. When I was about 4-6 weeks post op I was able to eat almost anything I wanted ( still can ) and felt the huge guilt hanging over me every time I got on the scale and didn't see it move. I felt like I was the only 1 on this site that wasn't going to loose any weight and that my attraction to food was much stronger than I had realized. I finally got off my ass and joined a gym. I did 1 hour of Zumba 4-5 days a week and started lossing but slow, I am currently at another stall :/ Buuuuut... My point, I did lose. I am 46 lbs down and 5 months out. I'm not like all the other huge weight losers I see that make me feel slightly sad but I AM lossing. When I eat crappy food it shows on the scale, when I don't make it to the gym it shows. That being said for me it's about the good days and not the bad. I make mistakes, learn from them and mess up again sometimes, that's life. I am a work in progress, I didn't get heavy over night so I'm not going to get thin that easy either. Don't beat your self up, just reach out and know you are not alone!!! Write me anytime

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If you need things to "snack" on, keep nuts, beef bites, cheese cubes all ready to reach for. And like others have said, keep the bad stuff out of the house!! And that stall your in? It's the week 3 stall and happens to most everyone, you'll break through it!! HANG IN THERE!

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I don't have enemy amunition in the house but I will over indulge in chicken, meat, cheese, fish, etc. I am nearly 6 mos out and 75 down but I have stalls lasting 3 to 4 weeks and then lose 2 lbs. Growl. I could eat less, I suppose, but I haven't mastered the emotional eating hunger cr@p yet.

I give up on ever conquering that beast.

Sent from my SGH-T839 using VST

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Dianne NY, thank you!! I came to read this forum tonight looking for a bit of direction after getting into a rut and what you wrote is exactly what I needed to read.

Thanks :wub: .

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