Life In Moderation

[LadyIvy 159]

I understand that everyone has different reasons for needing weight loss surgery. We also all have very different problems and triggers. In my case, I am a very A Type personality who lives in a world of black and white. This surgery (and some therapy) is helping me find the grey areas. I am not saying it is easy. I struggle with lack of "perfection" in the things I do every day. However, I think I am doing this in the most healthy way possible. Some of the people that I have seen and spoken to scare me. I asked my NUT yesterday how our bodies respond any different than that of an anorexic. I have asked her this question 3 times and she doesn't like it because she cannot answer it. Yes, we do not have the same mental issues to deal with, but our bodies have been anatomically altered, not physiologically. Due to this, I find that it concerns me when people who can only get in 700-800 calories a day workout so hard that they are running in the negative. Again, I ask my NUT how this can be healthy. Our bodies need both nutrients and calories to function properly. While I understand that our bodies will force us to function at a deficit, how do you sit there and tell people that it is okay to have a daily net that is negative? Calories are how we get energy. I don't mean empty chocolatey calories, I am talking about making healthy choices. I do not understand how people can look me in the face and tell me that it won't have any effects. If someone was eating exactly how we are forced to without the surgery, people would tell them about Hair loss, amenorrhea, lower cognitive functioning etc. Yet, people can look me straight in the face and tell me it is ok for me because I am anatomically different now. Can someone please explain this to me? No one else has been able to, and I just am trying to wrap my head around this. Don't get me wrong. I understand the definite need for exercise. Unfortunately, so many people take on this surgery and don't realize they are treating it as though it is yet another one of their DIET attempts to lose weight. I hear about perfection, perfection. I won't ever touch a candy bar, ice cream, cookie, white carb etc. etc again. I completely understand that everyone has a trigger that they may need to avoid permanently, for me it is soda (which I can never have again), but I am talking about every single thing that may not be perfect for your health, but you enjoy. Also, I have seen a lot of people that seem to start off telling themselves "I will work out for an hour a day 6 days a week for the rest of my life" and take no consideration for life happening around them. Not only does this sound like a recipe for disaster, but to me, it just sounds like another diet. I chose this surgery because it is not a diet. As previously mentioned, I struggle for moderation not an all or nothing attitude. I may not have lost 50 lbs in my first month, but I feel as though I am making permanent changes that will serve me (and eventually get me to weight) in the long run. If I did great all week and I want a cookie, I might eat half a cookie (truth be told, I used to be a cookie monster but I don't really like them anymore, but you get the point). If I decide to take my son out for frozen yogurt one Friday, I don't feel guilty as I have made a huge lifestyle change. The choice of frozen yogurt over Baskin Robins is a huge step and I don't feel jilted. I won't sit and eat 16 oz anymore. I might have 4 and I feel satisfied. I have made a lot of friends that have also had this surgery. It really worries me that they treat it like another diet, they never give themselves a break and begin to disturbingly obsess about every single calorie they ingest (again, not saying you don't need to pay attention, but if you accidentally go 10 calories over, so what??). I feel that little changes add up quickly. Walking your child to and from school instead of driving, using your bike to make a run to the corner store, playing outside with the kids, swimming a couple laps while you are out sunbathing on the beach. I feel like I am running a lifelong marathon, not running a sprint to goal weight. It can be frustrating sometimes, watching those around me that had the surgery about the same time lose weight faster. However, I have no extra skin to contend with and I am certain that I am losing a lot of body fat, not just body weight. My struggle is to keep telling myself this. My struggle is to find a lifelong change that isn't necessarily as quick as I may like, but teaches me the moderation that in 32 years I never learned.

[isntsheclever 38]

I can relate. I get so frustrated hearing people say that no one should eat more than 800 calories a day postop. No, my weight isn't flying off the way others might be. But I am, for the first time in my life, finding some level of peace where food is concerned. I focus on eating what is most beneficial for my body. As long as I do that most of the time, I don't think twice about a cookie or a small scoop of ice cream.

I didn't gain this weight overnight. I won't lose it overnight.