Why Did I Do That? Depressed Now!

[Back~To~Amy 307]

So, I went on YouTube and was watching the sleeve procedure. That's ok. However, that led into looking at people's vlogs and some of them had quite a sigificant amount of excess skin. I have about 150ish pounds to lose and know that no amount of good genes, exercise etc. will keep me from having a bunch of excess skin. I just cannot believe what I've done to my body! It almost makes me say what's the point. I know logically what the point is. It's my health, my life but there is vanity in this too. I know there is surgery for that, but who know if and when I could ever afford that. This surgery alone is a lot. For those who have lost close to or more than what I need to, please jump in here and give me your thoughts - the good, the bad and the ugly so to speak. I'm really feeling low about all this right now. Thanks!

~Amy

[SkinnyOnMe 81]

I was in your boat last week,posting about the same thing. But honestly.... you have no idea how your skin will react. You may be tight, you may be loose.... but you won;t be fat. Take care of your skin. Follow all the hints and pray for the best. Worry about it when you lose the weight. It's done

[Holly5.3 423]

Amy-girl- I know what you are talking about - the cursed stomach "apron". Excess weight ruined my stomach (I had at 27" waist when I got married!), 2 c-section deliveries (big babies: 8lbs6oz. And my baby, 11lbs.8oz.) totally trashed it! When my girls were babies I lost weight on WW and step class. The more I lost the lower the apron hung. I saw a plastic surgeon- no insurance at the time- one income, it would cost $11,000(including a bust lift). Of course I couldn't afford it and I allowed the extra skin to cloud my judgement about how far I had gone and became depressed over it. Naturally, 15 years later and I am 100 pounds heavier than I was then. I am older and wiser now-and realize I'll never have my Pre-baby stomach, but I rather have excess skin stuffed into Spanx wearing a size 10 or 12 jeans, than wear a size 22 and look pregnant! Smoke a mirrors work fir a reason. The illusion sometimes is satisfying enough! (But I stll tell my hubby I would love a "mommy make-over"--tummy tuck and breast lift. Once I make goal. He just "yes'" me to death. He's tired of hearing about it!

[AdeptDreamer 104]

I get you 100%

I get so angry at myself, thinking you messed up your body so bad, why even get surgery when it going to be surgery after surgery... And I won't be able to afford pastics and then if I do, it will take years and I will still have huge scars. Its all pointless. I hate it when I think like that

But I realized I need to learn to love myself, I will never have a flawless body. Who does?!? I will be fine and after I learn to love me, others will too plus I realized battle wounds are cool! And only time will tell.

And if all else fails, I'm just going to become a nun.. Lol!

[Cookeeeeez 269]

We have to love the body we are in you won't know if you will like it or not until you get there but I reckon a lot of it is psychological! I think if we stay positive from the beginning we can be happy with even the little changes you know what I mean? Even my liver roll (the bit between my boobs and stomach is starting to sag, so from the front ive lost my empire waist line... On the back my bras no longer bulge in that ugly way- so it's 50% good 50% bad- but it's all loss!!!!

[Cookeeeeez 269]

Oh and perfectionism is our brains way of sabotaging anything good

[Holly5.3 423]

Oh and perfectionism is our brains way of sabotaging anything good

I think it's a coping mechanism for allowing ourselves to fail in reaching our goals so that we can go back to the familiar rather than face the (scary) unknown. I laugh at myself... while losing weight I'm like "why are my boobs here? Why is my stomach there?, etc." mean while I'm ignoring my body while gaining weight - I'm NOT like, "Why is my stomach sticking out further than my chest?" "wow-this pants/skirt/dress/top feels a little snug today I better reduce my calories and move more!" (Sounds so simple, tho doesn't it?) as soon as I become conscious of what I put inside my body- I start to care about the outside. It does make sence when you look at it that way! As far as sagging skin- I've posted before stuffing extra tummy into Spanx to wear a 10-12 is better than looking 7 months pregnant in a size 22/24! Try to think positive thoughts about yourself to push out the negative. For every bad or negative thought you have about yourself- catch yourself doing it- correct yourself by saying 2 positive things about yourself. If we can't love ourselves- we really cannot love others.

[kyllfalcon 768]

Most of you gals are younger than I am, and are therefore concerned with matters related to intimacy. I'm too old for much of that, and having been married to the same guy forever, take him a little for granted :-)

But when I started all this, I too worried about excess skin, sagging boobs,etc. just because I wanted to be pleasing for myself. The sagging boobs, not as bad as I thought. The apron, not as bad as I expected. The upper arms, about what I thought. BUT the sagging butt and wrinkly thigh skin... I didn't expect that!!! The best news of all, my chin and neck are holding up nicely!

Long story short, I originally planned to have plastics to put it all back together where it once was. But now I'm thinking not. To correct it all would mean a mini-facelift, arm lift, boob lift, at least a Tummy Tuck if not a full lower body lift, and an inner thigh lift. Forget it. Too much money, too much pain, too much risk, too many scars. I look great clothed, not so great naked. I am clothed about 99% of the time. Nuff said.

But yes, I beat myself up for what I've done to my body, but I am reversing all that damage except the cosmetic. Already I can walk fast again! I can do all my housework without hubby's help again! I can shop again! I can sleep again! I am no longer ashamed of how I look (clothed)! I no longer hide from cameras! On and on...

The good far outweighs the bad.

[Lissa 2,631]

I've lost around 120 pounds and the excess skin does bother me a bit. BUT, being healthy and able to do whatever I need to do (walk, run, work like a mule for hours) makes up for that mostly. I'm only truly self-conscious about my apron, and even that is improving little by little. I might have a Tummy Tuck. I might have a boob lift, but mostly I'm thrilled with how I look. I'm definitely thrilled to still be alive today!!! Excess skin isn't much to deal with compared with not being alive, IMO. And I was headed for dead before!

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Amy, there are a few things to consider here.

The video you were watching,

1. how far post-op was the poster?

2. how much weight was lost?

3. How old was she?

Keep in mind, your skin will continue shrinking for 2 years, possibly longer.

Yes, you will likely deal with loose skin in the earlier stages, but the loose skin you see 6months out will still shrink a lot. I'm not saying it will all go away (though it might). But if you really want to see what the reality of loose skin is, you really should be looking at people 2 years post-op, and still as you already know no two people are the same.

[rosehips 121]

I think it's a coping mechanism for allowing ourselves to fail in reaching our goals so that we can go back to the familiar rather than face the (scary) unknown. I laugh at myself... while losing weight I'm like "why are my boobs here? Why is my stomach there?' date=' etc." mean while I'm ignoring my body while gaining weight - I'm NOT like, "Why is my stomach sticking out further than my chest?" "wow-this pants/skirt/dress/top feels a little snug today I better reduce my calories and move more!" (Sounds so simple, tho doesn't it?) as soon as I become conscious of what I put inside my body- I start to care about the outside. It does make sence when you look at it that way! As far as sagging skin- I've posted before stuffing extra tummy into Spanx to wear a 10-12 is better than looking 7 months pregnant in a size 22/24! Try to think positive thoughts about yourself to push out the negative. For every bad or negative thought you have about yourself- catch yourself doing it- correct yourself by saying 2 positive things about yourself. If we can't love ourselves- we really cannot love others.[/quote']

Right on, I am going to incorporate 2 positives for every negative thought. It was sooooooo hard for me to leave my "familiar" world and have the surgery. I forced myself and I am so much happier, just one month out and life has changed already

[Holly5.3 423]

Right on' date=' I am going to incorporate 2 positives for every negative thought. It was sooooooo hard for me to leave my "familiar" world and have the surgery. I forced myself and I am so much happier, just one month out and life has changed already[/quote']

I'm glad someone agreed! . I've lost and regained huge amounts of weight (30,40,50,60 and 70 lbs.) since I'm 15, I'm now 53. It's not the progam or diet that failed, it's not "my parents fault!", etc ad naseum...it's what goes on in my head and what comes OUT of my mouth that has enabled me to regain lost weight. I am so excited for my sleeve-times flying! Pre-op this Friday. How are you feeling one month out, rosehips? I'm looking forward to the holidays again- not for the food, but to show my family I'm doing it! )While wearing a cuter, smaller outfit, too- I might add!)

[missdietcoke 18]

So, I went on YouTube and was watching the sleeve procedure. That's ok. However, that led into looking at people's vlogs and some of them had quite a sigificant amount of excess skin. I have about 150ish pounds to lose and know that no amount of good genes, exercise etc. will keep me from having a bunch of excess skin. I just cannot believe what I've done to my body! It almost makes me say what's the point. I know logically what the point is. It's my health, my life but there is vanity in this too. I know there is surgery for that, but who know if and when I could ever afford that. This surgery alone is a lot. For those who have lost close to or more than what I need to, please jump in here and give me your thoughts - the good, the bad and the ugly so to speak. I'm really feeling low about all this right now. Thanks!

~Amy

Hello Amy!

What was the point? Better life. Period. Longer life expectancy, free of obesity related complications, better chances in everything starting from finding a mate to getting hired for your dream job. Even employers do discriminate against fat people. We move slower, we are clumsy, we can't control ourselves as far as eating goes how could we became good employees and it is not easy on the eye to look at us.

You have done your body the best thing you could have done. Trust me. I am not sleeved yet. I don't know about sagging skin but I know the pain of being fat and I know you remember clearly too. Every time my left knee is killing me even from simple walking I would give anything to lose 40-50 pounds at least. I would much rather have a hanging belly on any days then a painful joint from carrying this huge body. The other day I dreamed I was running - I can't remember the last time I was able to run. It hit me in the morning...so sad...

I think you should be thankful for going through this life change without any complication and losing weight, bettering your looks and your quality of life. A bit of hanging skin is nothing but vanity. It will not kill you as high blood pressure or diabetes would have if you stay the way you were.

I hope I was not harsh but you have asked for the bad and ugly too.

Just be happy, glad and thankful, and enjoy your bright future.

[rosehips 121]

I'm glad someone agreed! <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />. I've lost and regained huge amounts of weight (30' date='40,50,60 and 70 lbs.) since I'm 15, I'm now 53. It's not the progam or diet that failed, it's not "my parents fault!", etc ad naseum...it's what goes on in my head and what comes OUT of my mouth that has enabled me to regain lost weight. I am so excited for my sleeve-times flying! Pre-op this Friday. How are you feeling one month out, rosehips? I'm looking forward to the holidays again- not for the food, but to show my family I'm doing it! )While wearing a cuter, smaller outfit, too- I might add!) <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

Hi Holly, sorry it has taken me so long to respond. Now I am coming up on 7 weeks and life is

going good, sometimes great, no days are shitty . Before I did the sleeve I had a lot of shitty days, food hangovers, isolating, MISERABLE. Now I force myself to JUST FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS. With that being said....

I went on vacation last week and discovered I can eat the fillings of burritos and unfortunately I discovered I can eat corn chips. While on vacation I ate 1/2 cup of corn chips per day, then I doubled it, then I threw them away. When I ate the Beans, rice and meat in the buritto I stayed in the correct portion for me which is 4 oz. I actually can not eat more than the 4 oz., there is no more room and the food like backs up into my throat, at least that is what it feels like.

I am walking daily, trying to get 60 oz of Water in. I have lost another 10 lb.'s in 17 days. Total of 26 post surg. I am averaging 4.33 pounds a week. Of course I want more but I am thrilled with the way I am looking. I am wearing Levi jeans and my tops, well I keep finding smaller ones in my closet. I had to buy a belt to keep my pants up!

Yesterday I had bad head hunger, sort of for the first time. I did not give in, I just followed the rules. Today I wrote out my goals and why I want to lose more weight. I have not felt the head hunger today

Bottom line...when I started w/ preop diet on 8/1 I had 125lb's to lose. As of 10/10 I now have 85 lb's to lose. That sounds so much less over whelming.