Just the beginning!

Bezoldme · August 21, 2006

Hi there everybody. I've been browsing this site and find it very informative so far. I am at the beginning of my journey with the lapband. I have to attend a seminar on the 14th of Sept. I was hoping to get a consultation sooner than that. I'm anxious to see if I'm a candidate and if my insurance pays for this surgery.

I'm at my wits end with my weight. I definately know how to lose it 10, 20,even 50 lbs at a time and then back on it comes because I feel like I'm above it all. I always think I'm in control and can "will" the weight off without the hard work. I do work very hard at it and give up like its all nothing. How frustrating! I will be 36 this month and weigh 285. I feel fatter everyday and I am getting more and more sedintary as each day goes by. I know I can do better than this.

I have polycystic ovarian syndrome which could be completely cured if only I took the weight off and kept it off. I'm infertile and unhealthy because of this problem and can't believe I won't stick with a healthy lifestyle to save my life!

The biggest problem in my mind with this lapband procedure is my fear of losing the control. I already feel rebellious over not being able to eat what I want, how much and when I want. The fear of the pain and of other side effects haunts me too but i really really want to be healthy. I want to enjoy life and want my body to reflect my spirit. I am an outgoing, upbeat and jovial type of person but don't feel this way with my weight this high. I want to hide myself away and not see people who will judge me or be disappointed that I allowed myself to get like this.

I know others here have had the same feelings. Those of you who have had the lapband--is it worth it and have you found the support you need to get through the toughest emotions that accompany the lapband?

Thank you for letting me vent about all this here!

J

neenagh · August 21, 2006

Hi Bezoldme, Welcome to this great place. You will love it here. I'm not banded yet, (10 days!!!whoo hooo!!!) Keep reading all you can here, it will really help allay your fears, you will find out you aren't the only one who feels the way you do, others have many of th same fears, problems and dilemnas. Whatever you decide, I wish only the best for you on your journey! Good Luck!

marys · August 21, 2006

You are wise to consider all aspects of banding - not just the surgery but the aftercare - living with that band. Believe me i only focused on the surgery as i was so scared about it that i didn't even think about afterwards - i just thought it would take care of itself - yes, blind and stupid but that's me. And yes, you are right to concerned about your attitudes toward food etc as that is a huge part of banding. But you can do it as we all have bad habits and issues surrounding food and eating. however you have to put that effort in so you are smart to think of those things now- you can be rebellious etc but you will pay - in discomfort and possibly slippage if you really overeat and throw up all the time so there are consequences to your behaviour. you might want to make sure your doc has a regular in person support group or get into counseling as well as use these boards (they are super duper) but if you are a hard head case like me you need to have more help than most - you can do it just dont wait until you've been banded to set up your support systems. mary

Bezoldme · August 21, 2006

Thank you for your responses and encouragment. This is such a scary prospect but as you know even more frightening is the future without the weight loss. Health issues, self-esteem issues and all that goes along with it. I'm glad to have found this forum!

BJean · August 21, 2006

Bezoldme: I am much older than you. When I was your age, I thought someone who was my age now, was really old. Well, mentally I am not. But this chronological age came faster than I could have ever imagined. In retrospect, I can tell you that being overweight during some of the best years of my life is the only real regret that I have. That's why I'm going to finally correct the situation with LB surgery. I wish I could have done it 15 years ago. I've wasted many good years dieting, losing weight, and then regaining the lost weight and even more. Dieting alone doesn't work. If it did, we sure wouldn't be considering surgery. My doctor recognizes that the medical profession has very little to offer people like us. His is probably the first realistic approach to obesity that I've heard from a doctor in my entire life. I am sure he isn't practicing medicine just for fun, but I believe that he really wants to HELP obese people regain their health and their self-esteem. I have no way of knowing if Lap Band is the right thing for you. But for me, I know that it is the tool I have been waiting for. When I was thin, my thoughts of food and eating were different. I didn't live to eat and look forward to every meal, every snack, every opportunity to have something that tastes good and is comforting. I finally realize that I want to feel that I'M in control. You mentioned giving up the ability to make decisions about what you can and can't eat. I understand what you are saying, but what you might consider is that you may not really be making those choices just on your own. Food is making them for me. The look, the taste and the good feelings that high calorie food provides is what allows food to control me. I don't want to emotionally surrender to delicious ice cream, steak, Cookies and candy anymore. I want to see them and smell them and know that I can make a choice for myself to be healthy and pretty. I need to be a person that people want to be around, instead of gorging and feeling full and feeling disappointed in myself and having others look at me and wonder why I don't care more about myself. You have so many fabulous years ahead of you to be the best you can be. Why not help yourself really be in control? The LB won't be in control of what you eat (although perhaps how much per sitting), you will still be in control and you will still be able to eat all the things that you desperately love, just in healthier quantifies. But that said, I believe it is crucial that whoever has LB surgery should be totally sure that it is the right choice for them. I don't mean to sound preachy. I am sure I am reaffirming my own convictions as much as I am trying to support anyone else. I do hope that whatever you choose, that it is the right thing for you. I wish you many wonderful, healthy and happy years ahead!

Bezoldme · August 21, 2006

Hi BJean,

I agree with you 100%. I actually think about losing the last 10 yrs of my life to obesity. Not really losing it completely of course as I have a great family who loves and supports me and a husband who loved me as a size 10 and is attracted to me in the same way now that I am a 22/24. I don't understand that myself but I appreciate it from him. i want to give myself and my family the gift of health because if I feel as horrible as I do now how am i going to feel 10 yrs from now? I can almost guarantee I'll have diabetes as I am prediabetic now, my dad has adult onset diabetes and serious heart problems. I fear the risks of the surgery too however as I have sons who need me now more than they will 10 yrs from now. So much to consider!!!

Thanks for your insight. I really appreciate it.

J

BJean · August 21, 2006

You are so lucky to have a family and husband who support you 100%! That will help a lot throughout your decision-making process.

Having my husband's support is critical for me. My doctor is "out of network" and therefore none of the LB surgery is covered for me. Even if he weren't out of network, my insurance company doesn't pay for any obesity wellness treatments. Of course, they pay for my meds for high blood pressure and high cholesterol, and probably eventually diabetes meds. And they will have to pay for knee replacement surgery, if that becomes necessary. So it doesn't make any sense to me that they won't cover something that could reduce their costs in the long run. The whole insurance industry is a mess. And the doctors are tired of insurance companies telling them how to practice medicine.

It's something you may have to face when you go to the seminar and if you subsequently decide to go forward with the surgery.

Good luck!!! :mad: BJean

Bezoldme · August 22, 2006

I actually don't have a clue if my insurance will pay. I have grouphealth and don't know what they cover yet. I guess I will soon find out. I do certainly feel blessed by my family. Can you imagine what it would be like just to deal with the day to day stuff without people who care? So glad I don't know that feeling!!

BJean · August 22, 2006

Bezoldme: I've spent a couple of hours this morning browsing through all the messages. I'm learning a lot. It's crazy here. I'm not sure if I feel less apprehension about the surgery or more now. They say ignorance is bliss, but I think we fear the unknown. So I guess I'll keep reading. How are you feeling about what you're reading?

Bezoldme · August 22, 2006

There is actually so much info! I feel encouraged by many of the postings and of course before and after photos (I want to be in an after photo so badly!) On the other hand I have a lot of fears about it. I've never had surgery of any type and i don't have a great deal of pain tolerance. I'll just keep reading too and hope it helps me come to the right decision.

What kind of things have you read that jump out at you or that influence you?

BJean · August 22, 2006

I read that it is common to gain weight after the surgery when you're doing the Protein drinks. I was surprised to hear that.

Also, some people seem to have lost quite a lot quickly, and others haven't been very successful. My doc says the LB is just a tool, that you still have to work hard to achieve the best resuts.

I'm pretty convinced that it's the right thing to do, but I must admit that I have some fears that creep in from time to time too. What scares you the most?

LindaV · August 22, 2006

Bezoldme,

You are in the hardest part of the process. You don't have to wait until a consultation to see if your insurance covers the procedure. You can call them and ask them if they cover it. The CPT(procedure code) code you need to give them is 43770. Even if they don't cover lap band surgery you should still find out if bariatric surgery is covered at all. There are some great threads here if you need go to battle with your insurance company to get covered.

I hope you are covered!