Convince Me That It Will Be Worth It....

[Texarkolina 201]

I have managed to get myself into the situation of getting a great new job offer (which I need because the place I am working is closing) and approval for surgery on the same day. I am trying to navigate this delicately--I can keep my insurance through COBRA and start the new job, but I will need time off about 2 months in for surgery. I have to accept the offer tomorrow and really think I need to be upfront about needing to be off of work so soon after I start. I realize this could put my dream job--and it is a dream job for me--in jeopardy. Besides that, I am really nervous about handling all the stress of a new job and the surgery at the same time--plus I am a single mom. I realize I am facing some tough days ahead if I go ahead with the surgery, and I am freaking out a little. I am currently pushing 300 pounds on my 5'5" frame and have a lot of joint/feet pain that makes it hard to keep up with my toddler.

I really want to do this, but I am scared of everything coming at me all at once. There is a part of me that says just take the job and forget the surgery....maybe you can have it another time.

I am usually pretty strong and can deal with a lot of stress at once, but I think this is really going to stretch my limits.

Anyone else had multiple big stressors during their surgery and recovery time? Do you regret it? How did you cope?

Please convince me that I can do both and it will be okay.

[traceyc 89]

First congrats on the job offer. I applied for a job right before surgery. I figured it would take awhile for them to set up interviews but they called me for an interview a couple days after. I interviewed the week after my surgery and got it! I was still in a lot of pain. So I had to start my new job less than a month out and navigate goodbye happy hours and meet and greet lunches in my mushie food phase. I Would talk to them about the time off they may be very understanding. I only took off 6 days total. I don't know if the other job is stressful but if it is your dream job you will probably be happier which will make surgery and recovery easier and less stressful I think.

[nalasmom 14]

First congrats on the job offer. I applied for a job right before surgery. I figured it would take awhile for them to set up interviews but they called me for an interview a couple days after. I interviewed the week after my surgery and got it! I was still in a lot of pain. So I had to start my new job less than a month out and navigate goodbye happy hours and meet and greet lunches in my mushie food phase. I Would talk to them about the time off they may be very understanding. I only took off 6 days total. I don't know if the other job is stressful but if it is your dream job you will probably be happier which will make surgery and recovery easier and less stressful I think.

What do you do for a living, if you dont mind me asking. because i want to know how much time i have to take off before going back to work. im new at my job and i can only take maximum of 8 days off but im sure its more like 6 days off. even after the 6 or 8 days, is it ok to go back to work? im a nurse and will be on my feet for most of my 12 hour shift. help:(

[fat2handsome 6]

hi, i feel u shd talk it with yr prospective employers.u can go back to work after a week.onlything is that u cannot lift heavy things.

[nalasmom 14]

Fat2handsome,

I honestly dont want anyone at work to know. I could tell maybe 1 person but she wont be working with me every night u know? Hmmm. Are there any restrictions on bending up or down? I could probably do with the turning of patients. Its not like ill be carrying them on my back. Hmmm... I guess im trying to use every excuse to make sure i get vsg done. Ive been waiting a year. If i dont do it now ill nvr have the balls to do it later. Also, i dont want to waste anymore time being this depressed.

[Texarkolina 201]

First congrats on the job offer. I applied for a job right before surgery. I figured it would take awhile for them to set up interviews but they called me for an interview a couple days after. I interviewed the week after my surgery and got it! I was still in a lot of pain. So I had to start my new job less than a month out and navigate goodbye happy hours and meet and greet lunches in my mushie food phase. I Would talk to them about the time off they may be very understanding. I only took off 6 days total. I don't know if the other job is stressful but if it is your dream job you will probably be happier which will make surgery and recovery easier and less stressful I think.

Thank you for that. I didn't even thing about the getting to know you lunches and such, but I would probably be through that before surgery. I do human resources, and the new job is a human resources manager at a local factory. It is a desk job, so maybe I can just take a week off.

[traceyc 89]

What do you do for a living, if you dont mind me asking. because i want to know how much time i have to take off before going back to work. im new at my job and i can only take maximum of 8 days off but im sure its more like 6 days off. even after the 6 or 8 days, is it ok to go back to work? im a nurse and will be on my feet for most of my 12 hour shift. help:(

I have a desk job so no heavy lifting. The hardest part was sitting in one position for so long, I would get uncomfortable. I was restricted to lifting only 15lbs in the first 2 weeks after surgery so you may not be able to lift and turn patients that quickly after. Talk to you surgeon about it. I think the 12 hours shifts will be ok as long as you always have something to sip with you and take some breaks. Just make sure you get all your Protein or you will be exhausted. Bending over was the only thing that was still uncomfortable until about 6 weeks out but it was tolerable.

[traceyc 89]

Thank you for that. I didn't even thing about the getting to know you lunches and such, but I would probably be through that before surgery. I do human resources, and the new job is a human resources manager at a local factory. It is a desk job, so maybe I can just take a week off.

I have a desk job also. Sitting in one place was uncomfortable but I would try to get up and walk around every hour or two. I also went for a walk on my lunch break. I have seen people on this board that have gone back to work after just 3 or 4 days. Every person is different. I had scheduled off 2 weeks but came back early because I was feeling good. The most important thing will be getting in your fluids and Protein. Just always have something to sip on your desk!

[Afro_Cyster 74]

I would advise you not to tell them. You are having the surgery as a medical necessity, not because it is cosmetic. I would accept the job, get trained, then tell them a week before the surgery that I needed to be excused for at least three weeks due to a medical emergency. Another suggestion would be to delay the surgery for a few months so that you could allow your employer to recoup the profits they loss in recruiting you.

Also, after surgery, unless you have a desk job or your job allows for limited duty, I would not advise going back to work immediately. You do need time to heal and will not be able to lift anything for about four months.

[Bypassjourney 88]

You have to do what is best for you and your family. I agree with the post above that I would take the job and treat it as a private medical situation. If they can't hold the position for you while you are out, then you should be able to apply for unemployment benefits based on your other job ending due to the business closing. You are so close to the surgery so if at all possible, don't delay having surgery for anything or anyone. It will be the best decision you make in your life.

I wish you all the best. Keep us posted on what you decide to do.

[Tibbie 55]

I would tell the prospective employer. They put a lot of time, money and effort into finding employees. I agree that possibly putting off your surgery by a month or two might be best for both of you - or for you to start after you have healed.

Being honest is the best policy. I've hired people that told me up-front about planned vacations, etc. that were to take place within their first month with me. I'm always good with that provided I have the coverage. I never mind my employees taking time off - as long as everything is covered - I'm 110% good with it. If I had a prospective employee coming in telling me about having WLS - I would actually like that - as I know that them being in good health keeps my insurance preimums lower!

[ValerieSJackson 35]

My doctor says I only have to be out 2 weeks. Do you have a lot of lifting in that job?

[Texarkolina 201]

Well, I accepted the offer today and felt comfortable enough to ask about time off for surgery. He didn't miss a beat....he said, "sure..you just let us know when and how long you need off." I didn't tell him what kind of surgery, and he didn't ask. I am so relieved and EXCITED. My dream job and I can still go ahead and have the surgery! My gut told me that I needed to be 100% honest up front or I would worry about it forever, and I am so glad I was. He even told me that there was no need to take the time off as unpaid--as I had suggested--because I would qualify for Short Term Disability. I am totally blown away! My tentative surgery date is July 23, and my back-up date is August 6. I feel so blessed. Thank you everyone for your suggestions and support.

[bogeydog 30]

Yeah you. I am so happy -- a sign this was all meant to happen for you now.

[fattymcfatterson 107]

That is awesome! And it is nice to hear a story with a happy ending, especially after watching 2 season finales tonight!